Random Stories About Footballers

[PeterWithe]

I've seen Devlin jogging around Walmley on occasions so he still lives locally.

Love that merson story at Windsor. From memory Walsall actually lost that cup game!

I heard Merson tell a story about scouting this game, he reckoned their goalie was the worst he'd ever seen and convinced a lot of the Walsall team to back themselves pretty heavily to win, in some cases with their entire savings. Trouble was that goalie didn't play, his replacment had a blinder an d a lot of money was lost. He said that incident pretty much did for him as the players resented his 'tip'.

[eamonn]

I knobbed devlins Mrs when he was playing for the blose. She went on to marry my mate.

Was it your eloquent use of the English language with which you attracted her?!

No but it certainly wasn't my patronising and sanctimonious attitude toward others.

No offence meant.

you made love to her if you please

Why do I care so much?

[hartman_1982]

A girl I went to University with used to see a young Isaah Osbourne. It all ended the night she woke up to him shitting down the side of her bed, apparently this is a bit of a taboo.

[johnc]

A girl I went to University with used to see a young Isaah Osbourne. It all ended the night she woke up to him shitting down the side of her bed, apparently this is a bit of a taboo.

Women eh! Cant live with 'em, cant live without them

[ADVILLAFAN]

A girl I went to University with used to see a young Isaah Osbourne. It all ended the night she woke up to him shitting down the side of her bed, apparently this is a bit of a taboo.

*ARRRGGGGHHHH, MENTAL IMAGE!*

[Chico Hamilton III]

A girl I went to University with used to see a young Isaah Osbourne. It all ended the night she woke up to him shitting down the side of her bed, apparently this is a bit of a taboo.

Don't see the problem, as long a he wiped his arse and washed his hands

[Gareth]

A girl I went to University with used to see a young Isaah Osbourne. It all ended the night she woke up to him shitting down the side of her bed, apparently this is a bit of a taboo.

another misplaced pass

[VILLA MOLE]

I knobbed devlins Mrs when he was playing for the blose. She went on to marry my mate.

Was it your eloquent use of the English language with which you attracted her?!

No but it certainly wasn't my patronising and sanctimonious attitude toward others.

No offence meant.

you made love to her if you please

Why do I care so much?

refers to the villa

[eamonn]

I know, just thought it somehow fit.

[VILLA MOLE]

I know, just thought it somehow fit.

I suppose it is ,never realised what a sensitive guy I am . thanks 

[Damo70]

A couple of years ago my mum gave my kids a pack of photos to lend to me as she thought I might be interested in them. They were Ugo Ehiogu's wedding pictures. He had married my mums neighbours work colleague (a nurse I think). I wasn't particularly interested but politely pretended to be so as not to offend my mum or her neighbour.

[curiousorange]

When I was a lot younger, I went with my granddad a few times on flower deliveries to player's houses. What a lot of them did (may do still) is get bouquets delivered to their significant others when they're on away games to let them know they're thinking of them - it's all very sweet. Anyway, this was around the BFR era so I had the honour of sitting outside, say, Steve Staunton's gaff for two minutes. None of it was interesting in and of itself other than the time Big Ron's missus answered the door in her dressing gown.

I used to work with a specialist nursing team at the local hospital, one of whom was in the throes of an acrimonious divorce from a bar owner in Sutton Coldfield, a place which I'm informed is dedicated to the European Cup win and was opened specifically so the guy could get the '82 squad in to drink with. She told me that the guy owns a significant amount of squad memorabilia from that night, including Dennis Mortimer's European Cup medal, because some are massive drinkers who need the money. I have no idea whether she was talking out of spite, but I hope so.

My own brushes with footballer fane are paltry indeed - I met Stayvie Bull at a book signing at Walsall library, where his white t-shirt/muscly arms combo had most of the female staff drooling, and I served Martin O'Connor and his young daughter in the Children's Library.

[SheffieldVillain]

When I was a lot younger, I went with my granddad a few times on flower deliveries to player's houses. What a lot of them did (may do still) is get bouquets delivered to their significant others when they're on away games to let them know they're thinking of them - it's all very sweet. Anyway, this was around the BFR era so I had the honour of sitting outside, say, Steve Staunton's gaff for two minutes. None of it was interesting in and of itself other than the time Big Ron's missus answered the door in her dressing gown.

Presumably you mean she opened Big Ron's door rather than Steve Staunton's?

[curiousorange]

When I was a lot younger, I went with my granddad a few times on flower deliveries to player's houses. What a lot of them did (may do still) is get bouquets delivered to their significant others when they're on away games to let them know they're thinking of them - it's all very sweet. Anyway, this was around the BFR era so I had the honour of sitting outside, say, Steve Staunton's gaff for two minutes. None of it was interesting in and of itself other than the time Big Ron's missus answered the door in her dressing gown.

Presumably you mean she opened Big Ron's door rather than Steve Staunton's?

Ha! Yeah, nothing that bad, otherwise I may have won this thread!

[Steve67]

I saw Ugo Ehiogu in a pub in Highgate a few weeks ago.  He went outside for a fag!  A roll up too!!  Nice guy, looks half the size he was when he was playing though.