NOT The Generals thread

[JD]

General,

We surrender.. But there's a nice hotel in Central Christchurch we can put your Marines up free of charge, while we negotiate with you for taking over our country. Sleep soundly.   

[ClaretAndBlueBlood]

General,

As I'm sure you are aware, a dog owner has the responsibility of picking up their pet's dog shit when going for a walk. So who picks up the Guide Dog's shit?

General -I know the answer-please let me tell him!

Kipeye - you know the site rules, no answering any questions to the General on his behalf. Any more of that and you will be banned and have to go over to Villa Talk!!!

Reminder to all - the only person who is to answer questions on this thread is NOT the General - do I make myself perfectly clear???

[Hookeysmith]

GK

Be honest you must be pissing yourself reading this

To everyone else - how long before the media have the headline

"Things so bad that fans now taking the full on piss out of GK and the board"

[Doorbell]

General,

It is still the law in the UK that every man should practice archery on a Sunday. 

Being an upstanding gentleman who abides by the law, now that you know this will you make the first team practice before or after a Sunday kick off?

[TheTimVilla]

You're right, Hookey

General -

why are gays allowed to vote?
I really admire Margaret Thatcher; how about you?
How do you feel our finances compare with Tottenham's?
Would you let a non-white fight in one of your platoons, or whatever it was you used to shout at a lot?

[Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle]

General,

I'd like to become a marine but some of the survival techniques bother me. If you and your men were lost in the desert and you had no food or water, would you:
A) drink your own urine or
B) drink someone else's?

If the answer is B, would you ask him to pee in your water bottle or would you take it straight from the ahem, fawcet?

[Hopadop]

General

I contacted Nicky Keyes about my balding chinchilla Dalian as you suggested, only to have her blow smoke up my ass.

It was marvellous. Please convey my gratitude and keep up the good work Sir!

[UsualSuspect]

Would you bum your dad to save your mom?

[Villa'Zawg]

General,

could you tell me me the best way to grip an angry cat that is covered in hot butter?

P.S. Please don't advice me to tempt him with mouse flavoured cat food. That would be an entirely impractical suggestion, as you well know.

[Villa'Zawg]

Faggots and pees? Have I stumbled into a Stripyfilth forum.

[Greg N'Ash]

General,


Beans or tomato's with a fry-up?

Any idea on the best way to date bone china and porcelain?


and the biggie...

Who's your favourite james bond?

[Simba]

General.

My Villa Park Balti pie had creamy white stuff inside.

Is this yoghurt?

[Dave Cooper please]

General.

My Villa Park Balti pie had creamy white stuff inside.

Is this yoghurt?

You got chicken and mushroom by mistake.

[Villa'Zawg]

General.

My Villa Park Balti pie had creamy white stuff inside.

Is this yoghurt?

You got chicken and mushroom by mistake.

So that's the nasty white stuff in Chicken and Mushroom pies is it? Makes sense.

[Ger Regan]

Beans or tomato's with a fry-up?

What kind of utter lunatic thinks that these are mutually exclusive in a fry?