UEFA Europa Conference League - Alkmaar, Legia and Zrinjski

[Drummond]

Fucking hell, I was a bit pissed off I'd need mute on whilst at work, but now that I've seen it's Alex effing Scott, I'm really pleased!

[Toronto Villa]

Ace now we have Mark Noble.

[Risso]

Christ, what has Mark Noble got on his feet?

[Ads]

Noble has been on the beds. Looks like my garden fence.

[Risso]

Noble has been on the beds. Looks like my garden fence.

How is he only 36? Looks about 50. Proper old man's hair do.

[Drummond]

Ace now we have Mark Noble.

He needs some clippers running through his hair.

[German James]

The reverb is meant to make it sound epic. But it just makes it sound like they've broken into an empty warehouse.
How many more has-beens are they going to drag on?

[Mossie Hennebry]

They're tearing the arse out of this. Draw the fucking balls, you c*nts!

[Risso]

Please just get on with the Numberwang bollocks.

[OCD]

They look like a couple of bouncers.

[PeterWithesShin]

Rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb

[Toronto Villa]

Noble has been on the beds. Looks like my garden fence.

How is he only 36? Looks about 50. Proper old man's hair do.

He’s like the footballers we saw from back in the 60’s. Blokes in their 20’s looking like pensioners.

[Risso]

Bad suit for telly the Greek bloke is wearing.

[Ads]

I suspect we'll still draw Man United.

[German James]

Please just get on with the Numberwang bollocks.

"Giles?"
"Numberwank".

The incidental music is suspisciously Russian sounding.