Idrissa Gueye - now gone

[Damo70]

Wonder will he get the 5 shirt .
I quite like a midfielder wearing 5. Throw back.

To what?

Brazil I recall always liked a nr 5 in midfield.

Liverpool when they were good. Ray Kennedy.

Then Ronnie Whelan. It just never seemed right to me though. Against the law of England and all that.

Was that not just because Hansen always wore 6.

I could have grudgingly accepted a midfielder wearing 4, as a few did. Not 5. Never 5.

[Risso]

If I ever rise to the peak of English (or European or World, why not think big?) football by means of a violent coup, I'll be bringing in new laws regarding stupidly coloured boots.

However, the first thing I'll be cracking down on is the use of anything other than the player's surname on the back of the shirt.

The only case in which this is ok is for Brazilians, where that is the single word name they are always referred to (Zico, Pele) etc, AND said Brazilian is of an extremely high quality (ie not Fred or Jo).

Ideally dispensation to have a nickname rather than a surname on your shirt would be decided by an oversight panel which would accept and decide on applications. The only member of the panel would be me, thinking about it.

I am thinking of the likes of Chica-fucking-rito here. That's not your name. Get it off your shirt, and get your actual name on.

Brazilians have got an excuse in that they often follow the Portuguese convention of having 4 surnames, and that on the whole they rock at football, so can call themselves what they like, but everybody else I fully agree with you.  Jordi fucking Cruyff with his first name on his shirt.  I know why he did it but he was still a ponce. And Hernandez at Man U has no excuse.  Little Pea indeed, the massive bumder.  I'm sure most parents have pet names for their kids when they're growing up, but wouldn't expect to see "Daddy's little prince" on the back of a shirt should their son succeed as a professional footballer.

Up against the wall come the Walnuts revolution:
Chicarito
"Ravel" Morrison
Jordi Cruyff
Kun[t] Aguero

All of the above will be shot, but the following person will be given an ambassadorial role for always having his full name printed when a shortened version would actually have been excusable:

Vennegoor of Hesselink

[dave shelley]

On the subject of shirt numbering and Liverpool.  IIRC, I'm sure Tommy Smith wore the number five on his shirt as far back as 1964.  For younger posters, Tommy Smith was a defensive midfielder, sadly now crippled with Arthritis due allegedly from too many pain-killing injections.  Older posters please advise.

[Damo70]

I reckon Vennegoor of Hesselink was on a percentage of the club shop printing profits.

[Chico Hamilton III]

On the subject of shirt numbering and Liverpool.  IIRC, I'm sure Tommy Smith wore the number five on his shirt as far back as 1964.  For younger posters, Tommy Smith was a defensive midfielder, sadly now crippled with Arthritis due allegedly from too many pain-killing injections.  Older posters please advise.

Tommy Smith was claiming incapacity benefit for his injuries but he was spotted taking part in a charity penalty shootout in the 1996 Cup Final and had his benefit taken away.

[edgysatsuma89]

If I ever pull off a violent coup then there will be no numbers or names at all. On the back of shirts will just be multiple images of my head super imposed onto other famous images or landmarks. The referees will be required to learn everyone's names off the top of their heads. Any signs of hesitation from them will be punished. All referees shorts will be laced with 'Xtreme Catnip 5000' and on hesitation a tiger will be released. 20 referees a game will be required to attend all matches. Phil Dowd may not make it through the warm up though.

Also all tigers will be called 'Jon'. Don't ask. If you do I'll send Jon.

As it's slighyly off thread if Gueye signs he can have his name on his shirt for one game of his choice but it will have to be spelt phonetically. He can also choose which image of me he has as well.

[Ron Manager]

According to Sky Tim  Sherwood says there is a problem with Gueye's work permit but it should be Ok.

[Toronto Villa]

If I ever rise to the peak of English (or European or World, why not think big?) football by means of a violent coup, I'll be bringing in new laws regarding stupidly coloured boots.

However, the first thing I'll be cracking down on is the use of anything other than the player's surname on the back of the shirt.

The only case in which this is ok is for Brazilians, where that is the single word name they are always referred to (Zico, Pele) etc, AND said Brazilian is of an extremely high quality (ie not Fred or Jo).

Ideally dispensation to have a nickname rather than a surname on your shirt would be decided by an oversight panel which would accept and decide on applications. The only member of the panel would be me, thinking about it.

I am thinking of the likes of Chica-fucking-rito here. That's not your name. Get it off your shirt, and get your actual name on.

Brazilians have got an excuse in that they often follow the Portuguese convention of having 4 surnames, and that on the whole they rock at football, so can call themselves what they like, but everybody else I fully agree with you.  Jordi fucking Cruyff with his first name on his shirt.  I know why he did it but he was still a ponce. And Hernandez at Man U has no excuse.  Little Pea indeed, the massive bumder.  I'm sure most parents have pet names for their kids when they're growing up, but wouldn't expect to see "Daddy's little prince" on the back of a shirt should their son succeed as a professional footballer.

Up against the wall come the Walnuts revolution:
Chicarito
"Ravel" Morrison
Jordi Cruyff
Kun[t] Aguero

All of the above will be shot, but the following person will be given an ambassadorial role for always having his full name printed when a shortened version would actually have been excusable:

Vennegoor of Hesselink

although on a similar topic going from names to attire, while I 'm delighted the whole snood thing died quickly, I still feel Savo would have been a fucking all time Villa legend had he been allowed to play wearing his bandana.

[Villa in Denmark]

Careful what you start.

Silhil would have him in a snood and a bandanna.

[supertom]

If I ever pull off a violent coup then there will be no numbers or names at all. On the back of shirts will just be multiple images of my head super imposed onto other famous images or landmarks. The referees will be required to learn everyone's names off the top of their heads. Any signs of hesitation from them will be punished. All referees shorts will be laced with 'Xtreme Catnip 5000' and on hesitation a tiger will be released. 20 referees a game will be required to attend all matches. Phil Dowd may not make it through the warm up though.

Also all tigers will be called 'Jon'. Don't ask. If you do I'll send Jon.

As it's slighyly off thread if Gueye signs he can have his name on his shirt for one game of his choice but it will have to be spelt phonetically. He can also choose which image of me he has as well.

The flaw in your plan is that once the Tigers have munched their way through Dowd, they'll all be full, fat and bloated and too tired to chase the remaining refs when they cock up. It'll be anarchy and you'll have the RSPCA on to you for keeping Obese tigers.

[olaftab]

Or even better f##k the whole squad numbers and names thing off.

Match day squad.
1 - 11 on the pitch.
12 - 18 subs.

And preferably take the number of subs on the bench back down to 5 or even 3.

This.

[Chris Jameson]

If I ever rise to the peak of English (or European or World, why not think big?) football by means of a violent coup, I'll be bringing in new laws regarding stupidly coloured boots.

There's hope, a lad turned up in his new boots towards the end of last season at my son's Under 12's and his black boots caused quite a stir.

[joe_c]

Wasn't there some player (Uruguayan I think) at Inter who got in a strop when they wouldn't take no.10 off the incumbent and give it to him? I recall they compromised by giving him 19 and taping in a + between the 1 and 9.

Footballers can be absolute narcissistic wankers. Pink boots, silly hair and special numbers. You're paid millions of pounds to play football, you can shag pretty much anyone you want but it's not enough is it.

If I ever rise to the peak of English (or European or World, why not think big?) football by means of a violent coup, I'll be bringing in new laws regarding stupidly coloured boots.

However, the first thing I'll be cracking down on is the use of anything other than the player's surname on the back of the shirt.

The only case in which this is ok is for Brazilians, where that is the single word name they are always referred to (Zico, Pele) etc, AND said Brazilian is of an extremely high quality (ie not Fred or Jo).

Ideally dispensation to have a nickname rather than a surname on your shirt would be decided by an oversight panel which would accept and decide on applications. The only member of the panel would be me, thinking about it.

I am thinking of the likes of Chica-fucking-rito here. That's not your name. Get it off your shirt, and get your actual name on.

Short sleeved goalkeeper shirts have to go too. In fact, I'd reintroduce them having to wear the same shorts and socks as the rest of the side.

[CJ]

If I ever rise to the peak of English (or European or World, why not think big?) football by means of a violent coup, I'll be bringing in new laws regarding stupidly coloured boots.

There's hope, a lad turned up in his new boots towards the end of last season at my son's Under 12's and his black boots caused quite a stir.

I'm no fan of the current fad for fluorescent boots but N'Zogbia wore black boots a couple of times last season. It looked like he was running round in his school shoes.

[RussellC]

If I ever rise to the peak of English (or European or World, why not think big?) football by means of a violent coup, I'll be bringing in new laws regarding stupidly coloured boots.

There's hope, a lad turned up in his new boots towards the end of last season at my son's Under 12's and his black boots caused quite a stir.

I'm no fan of the current fad for fluorescent boots but N'Zogbia wore black boots a couple of times last season. It looked like he was running round in his school shoes.

N'Zogbia...? Running....?

Nah.