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Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
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Benteke facts (just for fun)
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Author
Topic: Benteke facts (just for fun) (Read 21998 times)
Legion
Moderator
Member
Posts: 59946
Age: 54
Location: With my son
Oh, it must be! And it is! Villa in the lead!
Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
on:
December 03, 2012, 07:03:14 PM »
When Benteke does press ups he doesn't push his body up, he pushes the planet down.
Logged
Clampy
Member
Posts: 30724
Location: warley
GM : PCM
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #1 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:07:59 PM »
He has his own brand of aftershave which is called 'Beast'.
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PaulTheVillan
Member
Posts: 24027
GM : 16.08.2022
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #2 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:14:30 PM »
Benteke once shagged Steve Bruces daughter.
Logged
Dave Cooper please
Member
Posts: 29991
Location: In a medium sized launch tethered off Biarritz
GM : 20.04.2019
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #3 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:21:20 PM »
Benteke invented Um Bongo.
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peter w
Member
Posts: 35469
Location: Istanbul
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #4 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:21:58 PM »
The BNP once asked to join Benteke.
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The Laughing Policeman
Member
Posts: 5403
Age: 79
Location: Harborne
GM : 25.03.2017
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #5 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:22:20 PM »
During his spare time he works as Concrete Ron's bodyguard.
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Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air
Member
Posts: 11903
Location: Upton Park....No, Olympic Stadium....No, Aston Park...Yes that's it,Turf Moor.
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #6 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:22:34 PM »
As a 12 year old he was working as a bouncer/doorman at a Liege nightclub and did this until he signed professional forms.
Logged
peter w
Member
Posts: 35469
Location: Istanbul
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #7 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:24:31 PM »
When he was 4 Benteke went into The Scrubs and opened up some f*cker. Just because he can.
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Jon Crofts
Moderator
Member
Posts: 21848
Location: Breaking rocks in the hot sun
GM : PCM
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #8 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:24:47 PM »
Benteke was never a 12 year old boy, he wasn't born, he was a CIA experiment.
Logged
nuninho
Member
Posts: 1481
Location: Daventry
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #9 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:27:21 PM »
Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Benteke beats all 3 at the same time
Logged
peter w
Member
Posts: 35469
Location: Istanbul
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #10 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:27:21 PM »
The Sun rotates around Benteke.
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JUAN PABLO
Member
Posts: 35230
Location: hinckley
GM : Aug, 2014
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #11 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:29:38 PM »
If Godzilla gets in trouble , he rings up Benteke.
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peter w
Member
Posts: 35469
Location: Istanbul
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #12 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:32:37 PM »
Benteke's real name is Eke. But he thought f***it I'm taking the England centre-forward's name, place, and hero status. That'll learn him to f*** with me.
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bertlambshank
Member
Posts: 11512
Location: looking down the barrel of a Smith&Wesson.
GM : 30.06.2019
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #13 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:43:01 PM »
His cock is longer than Route 66.
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Holtemeister
Member
Posts: 2531
Location: Living in Birmingham (just) but definately still a Yam Yam
GM : 22.07.2016
Re: Benteke facts (just for fun)
«
Reply #14 on:
December 03, 2012, 07:49:24 PM »
If you have a problem - If no one else can help - and if you can find him - maybe you can hire Benteke
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Benteke facts (just for fun)
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