Random Stories About Footballers

[Olneythelonely]

Around Christmas 2002, I got a text from my mate that said my phone was about to ring, but I should let it go to answer phone then check the message. When I did, a booming Scottish voice said, "It's Rambo here, what the **** is going on at the Villa at the moment? Merry Christmas."

My Villa-supporting mate had been invited to the Sky Sports Christmas party by a friend who was a production manager there and got talking to McInally, who he said was a top man.

Great story. Cracking name.

[OCD]

Even in text it sounds like he was pissed when he did that. Fair play though.

[Rudy65]

Was at Bel-Air many moons ago and saw an old school friend who came over and gave me a hug and a kiss and we chatted for a couple of minutes. The bloke she was with took a dim view of this and spent the next hour glaring at me with his best hard man face on. I got a tad pissed off after a while and walked over and asked him what his problem was and he responded by taking his jacket off and offering me outside. I followed him out and a bout of fisticuffs ensued which ended in him bleeding profusely from the nose all down his lovely white shirt. Apparently it was Gary Owen who  played for the Baggies and ended up at small heath. If I'd known that at the time I'd have given him another slap

You bully, he was only small

[kippaxvilla2]

I once was joined by Don Goodman and other Albion teammates (sorry not Villa but still funny considering) outside my mum and dads house.  We were teenagers and hanging around a phone box and they decided to join in a 'let's see how many we can squeeze into the phonebox' game.  It was very funny - Goodman, Coldicott, Bradley, David Burrows, and Godden I believe were involved.

[willywombat]

Was at Bel-Air many moons ago and saw an old school friend who came over and gave me a hug and a kiss and we chatted for a couple of minutes. The bloke she was with took a dim view of this and spent the next hour glaring at me with his best hard man face on. I got a tad pissed off after a while and walked over and asked him what his problem was and he responded by taking his jacket off and offering me outside. I followed him out and a bout of fisticuffs ensued which ended in him bleeding profusely from the nose all down his lovely white shirt. Apparently it was Gary Owen who  played for the Baggies and ended up at small heath. If I'd known that at the time I'd have given him another slap

You bully, he was only small

He did insist and I'm not much bigger meself Chico, he lost interest pretty quickly once his nose fell apart and I'm not a bully so we left it at that. I'm not normally the violent type by the way but sometimes you have to make an exception!

[villajk]

These stories arent so random !
 It's not like anyone hit osn a chick at Victoria coach station when they were 15 lie about my age charm her and coz im kinda good looking have a flirty chat as she was bored waiting for her coach to newcastle ... I went for the number close only to get told i was too young , she didn't live in area and her boyf gets jealous ... That was Amanda Carrington.... got a facebook but she deleted me after 3 weeks after her jealous boyf messaged saying I had Fuck all chance kid now Fuck off you retarded bollox.... Oh her  boyf ? That was joey barton

Could someone translate this please?

[willywombat]

Here goes: Handsome 15 year old VK chats up Amanda Holden at Victoria Coach station, lies about his age and asks for her phone number. She politely declines as she thinks he's too young and tells him she also has a jealous boyfriend. Unperturbed,he has another crack at her via Facebook until he's deleted after getting a forthright message from her boyfriend Joey Barton. I think that was it

[Jon Crofts]

As a kid I used to go into Ron 'Chopper' Harris's newsagents and ask him why Chelsea were shit and how things were in Division 2 whilst thumbing a Mayfair or Men Only before getting chased out by him.

[ChicagoLion]

These stories arent so random !
 It's not like anyone hit osn a chick at Victoria coach station when they were 15 lie about my age charm her and coz im kinda good looking have a flirty chat as she was bored waiting for her coach to newcastle ... I went for the number close only to get told i was too young , she didn't live in area and her boyf gets jealous ... That was Amanda Carrington.... got a facebook but she deleted me after 3 weeks after her jealous boyf messaged saying I had Fuck all chance kid now Fuck off you retarded bollox.... Oh her  boyf ? That was joey barton

Could someone translate this please?

yes, DONT DO DRUGS

[Hillbilly]

Many moons ago I was at a do at the Irish Centre with the aul' fella. He knows John Deehan's dad in passing. He sees him over on another table, wanders over for a chat then calls me over. He introduces me to Deehan's dad and the guy next to him, one John Giles. Disappointingly, Giles is a nice guy.

[Hillbilly]

Was at Bel-Air many moons ago and saw an old school friend who came over and gave me a hug and a kiss and we chatted for a couple of minutes. The bloke she was with took a dim view of this and spent the next hour glaring at me with his best hard man face on. I got a tad pissed off after a while and walked over and asked him what his problem was and he responded by taking his jacket off and offering me outside. I followed him out and a bout of fisticuffs ensued which ended in him bleeding profusely from the nose all down his lovely white shirt. Apparently it was Gary Owen who  played for the Baggies and ended up at small heath. If I'd known that at the time I'd have given him another slap

You bully, he was only small

And he has no neck...

[Windsor Boy]

I've met a couple of ex-Villa players, but my favourite was when I got a lift in Paul Merson's jag!

It was back in 2004 and I was still living in Windsor and if I wasn't watching the Villa I'd go and watch either Windsor and Eton or Slough Town (they ground shared.) One Sunday I'd decided to go and watch Slough vs Salisbury in the FA cup, and as I was walking to the ground a car pulls over and an older gentleman who I vaguely recognised asked me if I knew the way to Stag Meadow? (Windsor's ground)  When I said yes, that's where I'm off to, he said jump in the back, we'll give you a lift. When I got in the driver turned around and said hello! I think I blurted out "bloody hell, hello Merse!"

Turns out the winners of the game had drawn Walsall in the next round, and as Merson was  managing them at the time he was off to do some scouting, and the other bloke was ex-Villa physio Jim Walker. Both commented on my accent and I gladly told them I was a Villa fan. The journey was less than five minutes, but both were very friendly and chatty. Being an old school non-league ground you could walk all round the pitch during the match, and as Merson walked round he was happy to chat and have his pic taken with everyone. He even beeped his horn and waved to me as he passed me on way home (didn't give me another lift though!)

The best bit was that I got in to the game for free as the stewards let Merson park his jag behind the main stand (I always preferred Windsor over Slough so didn't feel guilty!)

[lovejoy]

The towns of Windsor and Slough are opposites in many ways.

[Damo70]

I once was joined by Don Goodman and other Albion teammates (sorry not Villa but still funny considering) outside my mum and dads house.  We were teenagers and hanging around a phone box and they decided to join in a 'let's see how many we can squeeze into the phonebox' game.  It was very funny - Goodman, Coldicott, Bradley, David Burrows, and Godden I believe were involved.

My old female boss was Tony Godden's bit on the side in the eighties before I worked with her. I seem to recall her saying he was married with about fifty kids. She always said what a great bloke and great laugh Don Goodman was. Godden would have left Albion by that time but I know from her he still knocked around with Albion players.

And I've just realised that I started this thread about two and a half years ago by mentioning this woman.

[paul_e]

I once was joined by Don Goodman and other Albion teammates (sorry not Villa but still funny considering) outside my mum and dads house.  We were teenagers and hanging around a phone box and they decided to join in a 'let's see how many we can squeeze into the phonebox' game.  It was very funny - Goodman, Coldicott, Bradley, David Burrows, and Godden I believe were involved.

My old female boss was Tony Godden's bit on the side in the eighties before I worked with her. I seem to recall her saying he was married with about fifty kids. She always said what a great bloke and great laugh Don Goodman was. Godden would have left Albion by that time but I know from her he still knocked around with Albion players.

And I've just realised that I started this thread about two and a half years ago by mentioning this woman.

That's the best bit about this thread, having never looked at it the first time round I read through the whole thing a few days ago and loads of the stories are repeated, it's a clear indicator that they're true if nothing else.