Aston Villa Kit 26/27

[cdbearsfan]

It looks really nice on Romesh Ranganathan's travel show. Apart from all the kidnapping, torture, invading Congo and, worse, giving money to Arsenal.

Would like to go if it didn't have a horrible regime. See also: Israel, USA, Afghanistan, Iran, Russia.

[algy]

I remember during the genocide in the Balkans thinking that Serbia looked beautiful and I'd really like to go there.

Went in 2006 and I wasn't disappointed.  17p for a litre of 6% lager, ridiculously strong ecstasy at 80p a pill, beautiful countryside, beautiful people, warm weather, .... mad bastard person running the guesthouse who sat around drinking 3 bottles of homemade peach brandy between me, my mate, and him ... then he went off and killed then butchered an actual real life, living sheep to make a stew for us with (I'm vegetarian so said no thanks, but I've been told it was delicious).  And we chased a pig down an abandoned railway line at about 6am whilst absolutely twatted on this spirit that was made from wormwood and probably illegal in this country as I'm fairly sure it was mildly hallucinogenic.

I'm not sure if any of that happens in Rwanda, mind.

[Sexual Ealing]

Let’s go to Serbia, algy.

[PeterWithesShin]

Maybe make a film.

[cdbearsfan]

Yikes.

[Hopadop]

I remember during the genocide in the Balkans thinking that Serbia looked beautiful and I'd really like to go there.

Went in 2006 and I wasn't disappointed.  17p for a litre of 6% lager, ridiculously strong ecstasy at 80p a pill, beautiful countryside, beautiful people, warm weather, .... mad bastard person running the guesthouse who sat around drinking 3 bottles of homemade peach brandy between me, my mate, and him ... then he went off and killed then butchered an actual real life, living sheep to make a stew for us with (I'm vegetarian so said no thanks, but I've been told it was delicious).  And we chased a pig down an abandoned railway line at about 6am whilst absolutely twatted on this spirit that was made from wormwood and probably illegal in this country as I'm fairly sure it was mildly hallucinogenic.

I'm not sure if any of that happens in Rwanda, mind.

I'm pretty sure it doesn't. But never mind faffing around with football kits, the Rwandan tourist board should just employ you.

[pauliewalnuts]

I remember during the genocide in the Balkans thinking that Serbia looked beautiful and I'd really like to go there.

Went in 2006 and I wasn't disappointed.  17p for a litre of 6% lager, ridiculously strong ecstasy at 80p a pill, beautiful countryside, beautiful people, warm weather, .... mad bastard person running the guesthouse who sat around drinking 3 bottles of homemade peach brandy between me, my mate, and him ... then he went off and killed then butchered an actual real life, living sheep to make a stew for us with (I'm vegetarian so said no thanks, but I've been told it was delicious).  And we chased a pig down an abandoned railway line at about 6am whilst absolutely twatted on this spirit that was made from wormwood and probably illegal in this country as I'm fairly sure it was mildly hallucinogenic.

Really attractive women - Belgrade is an absolute wanker's paradise.

Also, great post, that made me laugh a lot, especially this line, which I reckon is one of the greatest opening lines to a H&V post ever:

I remember during the genocide in the Balkans thinking that Serbia looked beautiful and I'd really like to go there.

Laughing like a drain.

"I remember, watching the World At War, seeing the Germans torch villagers alive in Belarus, thinking I'd really like to go there, it looks lovely"

[eamonn]

Lol indeed. But algy, when did your life become less debauched, Don't you miss your wild days?

[PeterWithe]

Maybe mention that you were a veggie before he got the knife out?

[Goldenballs]

Purely out of interest, are there any Serbian teams in the champions league?

[Pete3206]

Purely out of interest, are there any Serbian teams in the champions league?

Red Star Belgrade (Crvena zvezda)

[cdbearsfan]

There's teams from every UEFA member bar Russia and Liechtenstein in the Champions League at this stage. Red Star (Crvena Zvezda) have to win three qualifying rounds to make the League Stage.

[algy]

Lol indeed. But algy, when did your life become less debauched, Don't you miss your wild days?

Haha, it became less frequent after my little girl was born … some kind of sense of responsibility is all I can put it down to. Still go out and do daft things mind, just less often and I make sure I’m damn far away when I do them!

Maybe mention that you were a veggie before he got the knife out?

Well here’s the thing, I’d booked it through a friend-of-a-friend as it were. My mate Eoin’s temporary housemate in Belfast was this Serbian lad who’d gone over to learn about the troubles and how they were dealing with the tensions. I didn’t really know the lad that well, but he seemed like a laugh and said that his dad had a b&b, so we agreed and booked a week there without ever having met the bloke or any knowledge of where we were staying.

Went over and the chap picked us up from the railway station off the laughably titled “sleeper” train from Budapest to Novi Sad (seating only, no air conditioning so it was roasting, poorly maintained track made it very bumpy … then when I finally did nod off, the train came to an abrupt stop and some border coppers came on waving machine guns about and demanding to see our passports).

Anyway, matey boy didn’t speak a word of English, we didn’t speak any Serbian, so the whole conversation was in a mix of pidgin German and gesticulating wildly whilst slowly saying words in our respective languages. Somehow we managed to have a 4-5hr conversation with the bloke every day for a week despite these clear limitations.

Anyway, the last full day we were there, after breakfast (which consisted of a Turkish coffee each and half a bottle of homemade spirit between us) he indicated to come with him. Took us out in this car to the middle of nowhere, down this farm track. Me and my mate were looking at eachother thinking “what the hell is going on here?”, genuinely a bit unnerved. Anyway, he drove a bit further up to a farmhouse, pointed at himself, pointed at the farmhouse “ja”, pointed at us, pointed at the house “nein”, then disappeared in to the house.

A few minutes later we heard this “baa! Baa! (thunk)” noise, then he came out holding an unconscious lamb in his arms. Went to the boot, got a black bin bag out, the lamb went in the bag, then he unceremoniously chucked it in the back of the car. Then he took us back to the house, we all drunk another bottle of peach brandy, he disappeared off, went down to the garage, “baa! Baa!”, then some pretty horrific sounds that were him slaughtering the lamb in his garage.

The funny thing was that his son came to join us for the meal. I’d said “look, I’m vegetarian … has your dad got anything I can eat?”. He translated for his Dad, his dad said something in Serbian and did a thumbs up at me, then went in the house to the kitchen. His son said “it’s ok, my dad says he’s going to chuck some turnips in the lamb stew … special treat for you!”.

[eamonn]

Classic! Hope you gave him a gift in later times.

[Rory]

I'll be honest, you're not selling it to me as a tourist destination, algy. Although I'm sure Paddy is booking his flight as we speak.