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Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
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What's the best excuse you could come up with...
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Topic: What's the best excuse you could come up with... (Read 5125 times)
oldtimernow
Member
Posts: 3716
GM : 18.09.2024
What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
on:
January 23, 2017, 12:56:04 PM »
McCormack’s latest excuse was that the gates outside of his house were stuck meaning that he couldn’t exit his property.
I would have rung in to say my fat arse is wedged in the toilet so I can't make training today
Logged
Dave P
Member
Posts: 14146
Location: Redditch
GM : PCM
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #1 on:
January 23, 2017, 01:01:09 PM »
To be fair, that is probably what happened to Ross but he went for the less embarrassing excuse of the gates being stuck!
Logged
robbo1874
Member
Posts: 3386
Location: Bris-vegas
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #2 on:
January 23, 2017, 01:01:32 PM »
I'd have phoned my agent and got them to think of one. What else do I pay them for?
Logged
LukeJames
Member
Posts: 5172
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #3 on:
January 23, 2017, 01:02:35 PM »
The gates on my mansion are forever getting stuck to be fair, you peasants dont know how inconvenient it can be!
Logged
peter w
Member
Posts: 35469
Location: Istanbul
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #4 on:
January 23, 2017, 01:08:49 PM »
Peasants? We're Villa fans. We all live in the shires. We know exactly how inconvenient it can be.
Logged
ozzjim
Moderator
Member
Posts: 29986
Location: Here.
GM : 30.08.2022
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #5 on:
January 23, 2017, 01:14:20 PM »
Speak for yourself. The cone outside my house blocked me in today though. Far too heavy to move.
Logged
ADVILLAFAN
Member
Posts: 12521
Location: Shirley
GM : 03.02.2025
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #6 on:
January 23, 2017, 01:19:40 PM »
Quote from: peter w on January 23, 2017, 01:08:49 PM
Peasants? We're Villa fans. We all live in the shires. We know exactly how inconvenient it can be.
I mean honestly, doesn't Ross have a helipad? *scoffs*
Logged
Richard E
Member
Posts: 13141
Age: 53
Location: Tipton
This also will pass.
GM : 28.02.2019
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #7 on:
January 23, 2017, 01:24:50 PM »
'She told me she was 16, your honour.'
Logged
CJ
Member
Posts: 7888
Age: 70
Location: Downtown Cookley
GM : 12.07.2017
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #8 on:
January 23, 2017, 01:26:43 PM »
The only way I can get across the moat surrounding my property is by a boat towed by two Whooper swans. Confused by the unusually mild winter they've fucked off back to Iceland earlier than usual so I'm now stuck in my mock Tudor mansion with no means of getting out
Logged
ClaretAndBlueBlood
Member
Posts: 713
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #9 on:
January 23, 2017, 02:20:57 PM »
my butler forgot to wake me
Logged
ChicagoLion
Member
Posts: 22387
Location: Chicago
Literally
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #10 on:
January 23, 2017, 02:29:02 PM »
Went out, got drunk, met a bird, took her back to my place, woke up with my wallet gone and a message written on the bathroom mirror, "you couldn't even score an open goal you fat Scottish Wanker".
Honesty is the best policy.
«
Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 02:33:00 PM by ChicagoLion
»
Logged
ClaretAndBlueBlood
Member
Posts: 713
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #11 on:
January 23, 2017, 03:03:08 PM »
Gabby told me we don't bother with training at this club
Logged
oswald funkletrumpet
Member
Posts: 2157
Location: Hayley Green
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #12 on:
January 23, 2017, 04:21:18 PM »
My cock is far too big to fit in my trousers
«
Last Edit: January 23, 2017, 04:47:10 PM by oswald funkletrumpet
»
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Richard E
Member
Posts: 13141
Age: 53
Location: Tipton
This also will pass.
GM : 28.02.2019
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #13 on:
January 23, 2017, 04:59:01 PM »
There was a guy who got done for kerb crawling in Wolverhampton in his camper van.
He alleged that he had only driven into the red light district to ask for directions to the Severn Valley Railway (which does not of course run anywhere near urban Wolverhampton) and that when the prostitute had asked him if he was "up for business" he thought she meant she was going to work, so he offered her a lift.
He was, amazingly, acquitted.
The fact that he was a JP may or may not have had something to do with it.
Logged
cheltenhamlion
Member
Posts: 18734
Location: Pedmore, Stourbridge
Re: What's the best excuse you could come up with...
«
Reply #14 on:
January 23, 2017, 05:14:19 PM »
I shit myself on the bus and had to go back home to get changed (an excuse someone once used on me).
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