Okay, Carpe Diem, I've decided!
I'm bringing my boots, sorry Westwood but I'm in the middle today alongside Delph.
Time for the Puma Kings to come out and work their magic.
After my third goal I promise to run to the Holte End where I'll recreate the famous 'Merson drink up' routine. The ref will have realised that with 2 minutes left to go that it would be a waste of everyone's time bothering to kick off again so along with the 40,000 crowd we all head off straight from there to the Aston social for a disco. There'll be loads of strippers, drugs and Guinness action going on but as I'll not be going to Bodymoor Heath or any of that nonsense the following day then I reckon the hierarchy at B6 6HE will turn a blind eye to my going's on....after all, I've just kept us in the Prem FFS!
Everyone okay with that?