I'll be munching prawns for this one.
So, I'll get food poisoning from the prawns just before kick-off. I'll then run tot he toilet and vomit, passing on my germs to a waitress, who will then pop into the staff room where she'll meet the chief steward. The steward will have nicked some food from the kitchen, transferring germs as he goes, before passing the food on to the referee's steward. He will shake hands, transferring the germs again and the ref will blow his whistle to kick-off and the spittle will transfer to Rooney and Van Persie who will both then come down with sickness and diarrhoea.
They will have no fit subs and we'll play against 8 men, (there will have been a sending off by then) coming out 3-1 winners.
