Summer 2013: Villa Transfers, Speculation, Suggestions and Rumours

[Mazrim]

We could do worse than sign Skrtel....


... to scare the birds from the pitch.

[olaftab]

Liverpools Skrtel is open to offers

Something I called earlier in close season  and now Liverpool in 'advanced stage' of selling Martin Skrtel to Napoli not really an ITK but i was correct in saying he would be moving on . I think Villa could have added him but we were never interested from my research

Well done VK.

[olaftab]

Skrtel has a permanent look on his face as if he has just discovered that someone has placed a turd in his bowl of jelly and ice cream.

As Quasimodo said to Snow White and Tom Thumb "who the fuck is Martin Skrtel?"

[Mazrim]

After extensive research, my team of boffins came to the conclusion that Skrtel is moving abroad because he is, in fact, fucking shite.

[Malandro]

After extensive research, my team of boffins came to the conclusion that Skrtel is moving abroad because he is, in fact, fucking shite.

give 'em a pay rise.

[KevinGage]

Liverpools Skrtel is open to offers

Something I called earlier in close season  and now Liverpool in 'advanced stage' of selling Martin Skrtel to Napoli not really an ITK but i was correct in saying he would be moving on . I think Villa could have added him but we were never interested from my research

Did you have to go undercover for that highly classified information?  Pillow talk with Faulkner? 

[mr underhill]

no it was with the seventh brother of the seventh son who had a thousand telephones that never rung. An earlier post was getting very Dylanesque on this I thought.

[DrGonzo]

What we need is O'Neill to be confirmed manager of an, as yet, unnamed Premier League side that are being taken over by an Arab consortium with £100m bazillion pounds for him to splash on our shitty reserves.  That way we could get on with our lives.  I am frankly becoming increasingly embarrassed to have my name on a thread that rather resembles the career on Michael Owen, starting with a whoop and a holler and then declining to the depths of a Stokie nightmare.  Surely somebody must want some of this lovely shit we have for sale....please?

[Concrete John]

What we need is O'Neill to be confirmed manager of an, as yet, unnamed Premier League side that are being taken over by an Arab consortium with £100m bazillion pounds for him to splash on our shitty reserves.  That way we could get on with our lives.  I am frankly becoming increasingly embarrassed to have my name on a thread that rather resembles the career on Michael Owen, starting with a whoop and a holler and then declining to the depths of a Stokie nightmare.  Surely somebody must want some of this lovely shit we have for sale....please?

Intersting idea.  Maybe we should start a radio advertising campaign about buying Stephen Ireland and getting Barry Bannan free?  Or buy now pay next year on Darren Bent.  Perhaps even a car boot where we stick Hutton in the back of his own Landrover?

[ADVILLAFAN]

The club could send mocked-up Youtube videos of the players highlights to other teams, like Bannan setting up Albrighton with an 80 yard assist against Fulham and Ireland when he did good things - as in when he was still at Man City (the giveaway may be that he still had hair and 6 living grandmothers back then).

[pauliewalnuts]

The club could send mocked-up Youtube videos of the players highlights to other teams, like Bannan setting up Albrighton with an 80 yard assist against Fulham and Ireland when he did good things - as in when he was still at Man City (the giveaway may be that he still had hair and 6 living grandmothers back then).

There are limits to what is doable with CGI effects.

[supertom]

The club could send mocked-up Youtube videos of the players highlights to other teams, like Bannan setting up Albrighton with an 80 yard assist against Fulham and Ireland when he did good things - as in when he was still at Man City (the giveaway may be that he still had hair and 6 living grandmothers back then).

There are limits to what is doable with CGI effects.

Maybe we could superimpose his head onto Messi's body. Hell at this rate even Robbie Savage might make him look better!

[SamTheMouse]

Surely somebody must want some of this lovely shit we have for sale....please?

Let's send 'em on a free, all-expenses-paid luxury cruise around the horn of Africa. In a boat with huge dollar signs painted on the side and a big white flag on the back. Then, when they get kidnapped by pirates, claim on the insurance.

[RussellC]

Surely somebody must want some of this lovely shit we have for sale....please?

Let's send 'em on a free, all-expenses-paid luxury cruise around the horn of Africa. In a boat with huge dollar signs painted on the side and a big white flag on the back. Then, when they get kidnapped by pirates, claim on the insurance.

We'll just have to hope the Pirates still remember Ireland's one good season at City, otherwise they probably won't bother.

[Yossarian]

Surely somebody must want some of this lovely shit we have for sale....please?

Let's send 'em on a free, all-expenses-paid luxury cruise around the horn of Africa. In a boat with huge dollar signs painted on the side and a big white flag on the back. Then, when they get kidnapped by pirates, claim on the insurance.

We'll just have to hope the Pirates still remember Ireland's one good season at City, otherwise they probably won't bother.

We would probably end up paying a ransom for the pirates to take them.