Benteke facts (just for fun)

[not3bad]

A Seven Nation Army couldn't hold Benteke back.

[QBVILLA]

If Benteke fell in a deserted forest you would hear it.

[MarkM]

If you look very carefully you can just about spot him on the grassy knoll!

[bertlambshank]

Benteke is a regular contributor to top tips in Viz.

[Clampy]

Benteke has a wallet with 'Bad Motherfucker' on it.

[MarkM]

Have you seen the Stig and Benteke in the same room at the same time?

[DerHammer]

Benteke has won all the Golden Boots ever, the awards ceremony is purely for the closest runners up.

[*shellac*]

Benteke is the only man to have headlined Creamfields, Glastonbury, Reading, T in the Park, Hammerfest, Isle of Wight and St Albans International Organ Festival.

[hawkeye]

Bentekes main Past Times are Crochet and Flower Arranging- Pussy

[not3bad]

Bentekes main Past Times are Crochet and Flower Arranging- Pussy

Indeed -  the ladies say they find the sensation quite pleasing.

[N'ZMAV]

Benteke has a Penis as big as a Giraffes neck.

[not3bad]

Benteke threw Steve Hodge into a volcano when he heard about Hodge's betrayal.  If he ever leaves Villa he fears the next guy we do a thread like this about will throw him into a volcano.

[*shellac*]

Whenever Benteke flies a plane, God is his co-pilot.

[regular_john]

Christian Benteke is the one who knocks

[MarkM]

Benteke is not bothered by Kryptonite, he eats it for breakfast while stating that Superman is a pussy