James Milner's awesomeness

[Lucky Eddie]

James Milner has 'ghost written' music and lyrics for Ian Brown since the late eighties.

[CJ]

James Milner taught his granny how to suck eggs

[*shellac*]

James Milner shat his first shit and Liverpool was born.

[CJ]

The Large Hadron Collider discovered that the mysterious Higgs Boson particle is in fact James Milner

[Risso]

James Milner taught on old dog new tricks.  Karren Brady is now a superb juggler.

[Lucky Eddie]

God got out the same 'eighth day' tool kit that he had previously used to create Bon Scott and Paul McGrath and created James Milner.

[Edvard Remberg]

James Milner doesn't use breath-mints - he uses pepperspray & teargass

[VillaZogmariner]

James Milner has the eyes of an angel and the soul of a saint.  He keeps them in a footlocker under his bed.

[VillaZogmariner]

James Milner's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools James Milner.

[VillaZogmariner]

James Milner was once the F.B.I's chief negotiator. His job involved calling up criminals and saying, "This is James Milner."

[Lucky Eddie]

Contrary to counter claims it was infact James Milner who invented the bicycle kick.

[VillaZogmariner]

James Milner once had an erection while lying face down. He struck oil.

[VillaZogmariner]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for James Milner.

[VillaZogmariner]

If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but James Milner says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

[Lucky Eddie]

Driving through Lichfield and the surrounding countryside James Milner pulled over and shouted to some bloke with a metal detector - 'try looking in that field over there Mate'.