Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Match Threads & Player Ratings => Topic started by: Legion on March 27, 2016, 11:56:29 AM
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Saturday 2.4.16
12.45pm KO
Lie down like pussycats!
0-4 stroll in the park.
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0-1657
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Routine humiliation. With egg.
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'Usual Loss' against these could be anything up to eight
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Let's just get it over with.
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I'm going for 1-0 due to the no manager bounce.
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Early kick off, flat atmosphere, half hearted wankers in claret and blue shirts, no goals for and plenty against.
Can't wait.
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0-5 mins: under constant pressure.
6-40 mins: play pretty well, all things considered.
41 mins: someone on match thread says "I hope that was our bad half ".
45 mins : pathetic piece of defending gifts goal to Chelsea
45 mins: people on match thread giving it lots of "there it is" style comments
48 mins: concede pathetically again.
55 mins: and again
60 mins: match thread people suggesting it could "be five or six here"
70 mins : concede pathetically
70-90 mins: all signs of players collectively giving a shit disappear as Chelsea knock the ball about between themselves
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Paulie your entry at 70 minutes needs to be placed just after the 48 th minute second goal.
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The usual with lots of arms folded gallic shrugging on the touchline ( if Remi remains)
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I don't know, maybe Leandro Bacuna might put in a game-winning performance and lead us to victory.
...what with all the Champions League bound club's who will be watching him.
0-5
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Lots of walking and pointing,and kickoffs!!!
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A spirited 3-0 defeat
Are we still doing the flag thing as that is all I'm looking forward to...
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Routine defeat to these lot.
One of the last games for a while where the half and halfers will be in attendance.
Thank heaven for small mercies.
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Is anyone up for this? Had a nice weeks break, the half witted players will have had their feet up relaxing, I doubt they'll come in to this with any intensity being led by a bloke who can't be arsed either. All the signs of a training match style 0-3, with at least one massive clanger.
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Our lot are so thick they haven't worked out that if they show just a tiny bit of heart and work ethic they may just get a decent transfer when it comes to clear out time.
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All the signs of a training match style 0-3, with at least one massive clanger.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1792758589/majorclanger_400x400.jpg)
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Chelsea (-2) 4/1. It's like buying money. I had a relapse against Swansea and backed a Villa win. And it felt like we were winning until they scored. Won't be making that mistake again. For the less adventurous, you'll get 7/5 on Chelsea (-1).
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Them 4 Us 1. Maybe if we're really lucky we'll fluke a goal. Gotta be as optimistic as possible!
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Our turnstile staff should be giving paracetamol to every 'customer' as we enter on Saturday.
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On the plus side, I won't be there to see us get battered.
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0-3
Guzan hat-trick.
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Garde still here?
Just another bad day at the office.
0-2
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Chelsea to win...depending on their mood....
This is the game where i be giving back my free issue scarf from a few seasons back...tie it to the upper holte front row hand rail.
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0-5
Guzan to do the hokey cokey again on anything between the penalty spot and six yard box.
Garde to walk out on the 74th minute.
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All the signs of a training match style 0-3, with at least one massive clanger.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1792758589/majorclanger_400x400.jpg)
Is that a Daesh clanger? Kids TV is getting seriously cutting edge. Paxman doing Newsround?
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0-3
Shudder at the thought of seeing Richardson again at left back if Garde gets the boot and fkin KMac is in charge!
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I see Agbonlahor and Richards have been showing their usual professional dedication by living it up in Dubai.Thing is I am not in the least surprised.Far too much money for far too little return.
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0 - 3. Another thrashing at the hands of that plastic, all fur coat and no knickers club.
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Question- As a season ticket holder am I contractually obligated to attend? If I get a note from my Mum to say I am a bit poorly can I miss this one- please?
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Ah yes the least interesting thing about Villa at the moment, the actual games.
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The answer MPG is that your sick note is not accepted. I have got an achy breaky heart and I am still going.
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Unfortunately you are obligated to attend but you are fully entitled and permitted to vent your anger and frustrations to these overpaid ungrateful toothless spineless unlionesque mofos. Give em hell the letdown ******
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Question- As a season ticket holder am I contractually obligated to attend? If I get a note from my Mum to say I am a bit poorly can I miss this one- please?
Any attempt to get out of this by bringing a note will mean you have to watch in your underwear.
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Proper underwear. No Ann Summers fol de rols or frippery.
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Y Fronts and string vests are the dress code for Saturday.
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It would be so Aston Villa of us if Remi's exit wasn't finalised before this game and then we win it surprisingly convincingly, and then he'll be gone Sunday morning.
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Seem to be having these sorts of games every week at the moment ::) Will go for them to get a functional 0-2 win.
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We will finally end any hope Chelsea have if finishing second☺️
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Proper underwear. No Ann Summers fol de rols or frippery.
Oh bugger....I have been waiting all season to wear those😟
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They'll score as many as they want...probably be 4 or 5. We may have a shot on target, but most likely not.
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Gabby to significantly increase his touches-per-game stats with the number of kick offs we'll have. Us nil, them lots.
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0-2 Chelsea.
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1-3 which will probably feel like a good result given our all round shitness!
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All the signs of a training match style 0-3, with at least one massive clanger.
(https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1792758589/majorclanger_400x400.jpg)
Is that a Daesh clanger? Kids TV is getting seriously cutting edge. Paxman doing Newsround?
Looks more like a fascist Clanger to me, albeit a rather stupid one who is doing the Nazi salute with the wrong arm.
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Bunn
Lyden Okore Lescott Cissokho
Gana Sanchez
Sinclair Veretout Ayew
Gestede
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Bunn
Lyden Okore Lescott Cissokho
Gana Sanchez
Sinclair Veretout Ayew
Gestede
From the players we have available I agree that this is the best team we could field. Not sure that Bunn is any better than Guzan but he hasn't made as many mistakes yet due to not being in the team to make them!
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Bunn
Lyden Okore Lescott Cissokho
Gana Sanchez
Sinclair Veretout Ayew
Gestede
Tom, Tom, Tom. What are you doing? Where's Westy?
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That's a very good point.
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I don't really care. For the second match in a row I can't be arsed to go. I don't think Villa would play well with my mental state.
Instead, I shall be at the seaside and avoiding anywhere that might have a TV on Saturday afternoon.
Let's spin the other teams score generator......
1-4 ours a late consolation with most of the ground empty.
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With a 'new manager bounce', I'm now predicting that Villa keep the score down to five
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At least it is not kmac for the Chelsea thrashing.
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I fully expect us to win now so the lads can show how it was all Garde's fault. That ****** Richards leading the way with his Gremlin face smile.
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Bunn
Lyden Okore Lescott Cissokho
Gana Sanchez
Sinclair Veretout Ayew
Gestede
Tom, Tom, Tom. What are you doing? Where's Westy?
I agree it's very radical to name a side without Westwood in it. He'll probably bad captain on Saturday!!
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Chelsea will declare 354/2
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I will be creating a wall of noise for the team by shouting "WANKERS!" at most of our players through the medium of television screen before, during and after the game.
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I didn't realise it was on TV. I'll be in Szczecin for the weekend so will catch the game in a nice bar on the banks of the Odra.
No doubt there will be swearing.
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I'm in Cyprus for my niece's naming ceremony, which takes place up in the mountains at the same time the game is on. I think like Liverpool, it will be a good one to miss
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I'm in Cyprus for my niece's naming ceremony, which takes place up in the mountains at the same time the game is on. I think like Liverpool, it will be a good one to miss
Bad news Dave. They have TVs in Troodos. Definitely will be shown in Platres and Kakopetria. You know it makes sense.
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I'm in Cyprus for my niece's naming ceremony, which takes place up in the mountains at the same time the game is on. I think like Liverpool, it will be a good one to miss
Bad news Dave. They have TVs in Troodos. Definitely will be shown in Platres and Kakopetria. You know it makes sense.
I'm in Kalopanayiotis. I don't think they have electricity yet.
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I'm in Cyprus for my niece's naming ceremony, which takes place up in the mountains at the same time the game is on. I think like Liverpool, it will be a good one to miss
Bad news Dave. They have TVs in Troodos. Definitely will be shown in Platres and Kakopetria. You know it makes sense.
I'm in Kalopanayiotis. I don't think they have electricity yet.
That's just random letters!
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New manager bounce....oh wait...
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Bounce and taking care of Gabby and Richards in one gif!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/oDDEfZkth8Xe0/giphy.gif)
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A routine thrashing methinks.
Disgraceful Mercenaries 0: 4 Chavski
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A routine thrashing methinks.
Disgraceful Mercenaries 0: 4 Disgraceful Mercenaries
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Bounce and taking care of Gabby and Richards in one gif!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/oDDEfZkth8Xe0/giphy.gif)
Is that a green oak I can see on the left?
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This will be interesting - will we see some effort? If we do and they get thrashed then we can safely say they are just dreadful footballers, if not then they should hang their heads in shame for letting us get relegated because of their 'opinions'. I hope they get egged off.
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Bounce and taking care of Gabby and Richards in one gif!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/oDDEfZkth8Xe0/giphy.gif)
Is that a green oak I can see on the left?
If I'm not mistaken it's an Ash.
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You don't see many of those in the countryside these days.
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Eric Black's Claret & Blue Army! :o
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Seems that Jack and Adama are in contention for the game. We've got nothing to lose so stick them in if they are fit enough.
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Bounce and taking care of Gabby and Richards in one gif!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/oDDEfZkth8Xe0/giphy.gif)
Is that a green oak I can see on the left?
If I'm not mistaken it's an Ash.
There are trees in the clip????!!!!
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Bounce and taking care of Gabby and Richards in one gif!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/oDDEfZkth8Xe0/giphy.gif)
Is that a green oak I can see on the left?
If I'm not mistaken it's an Ash.
There are trees in the clip????!!!!
Well something is standing upright...
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Is the banner thing still happening?
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Chelsea are not great. I reckon 0-3 defeat.
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Bounce and taking care of Gabby and Richards in one gif!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/oDDEfZkth8Xe0/giphy.gif)
Is that a green oak I can see on the left?
If I'm not mistaken it's an Ash.
There are trees in the clip????!!!!
Well something is standing upright...
You can tell she's a woman because her handling of that sub-machine gun is very poor.
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She is holding a gun?!
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Just heard a couple of things.
Blacks first training session is tomorrow.
Robert Duverne and Tony Parkes will be involved but it specifically said Kevin McDonald won't be.
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Parkes is still there that's a surprise. Duverne is still there possibly for the french lads.
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Remember the god awful team K Mac put out against Spurs while in temporary charge? That has never sat easy with me.Just what was that all about? I just hope someone has the balls to spill the beans about the goings on behind the scenes. There has been a rancid stench about the place for the last 5 years. I am hoping Hollis &Co are going to cut out the the cancer that has eaten away at the club and allow Aston Villa football club to rebuild itself.
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Remember the god awful team K Mac put out against Spurs while in temporary charge? That has never sat easy with me. I just hope someone has the balls to spill the beans about the goings on behind the scenes. There has been a rancid stench about the place for the last 5 years. I am hoping Hollis &Co are going to cut out the the cancer that has eaten away at the club and allow our wonderful club to rebuild itself.
well said
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I'm surprised he is still at the club after that side he picked for the Spurs match, that smacked of a petulant final act at the time.
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Bounce and taking care of Gabby and Richards in one gif!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/oDDEfZkth8Xe0/giphy.gif)
Is that a green oak I can see on the left?
If I'm not mistaken it's an Ash.
There are trees in the clip????!!!!
Well something is standing upright...
You can tell she's a woman because her handling of that sub-machine gun is very poor.
Looks like a Heckler & Koch MP5, you're right she's got the stock folded away and would be far better firing aimed shots from the shoulder.
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Chelsea will declare 354/2
Off 19 overs.
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Bounce and taking care of Gabby and Richards in one gif!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/oDDEfZkth8Xe0/giphy.gif)
Is that a green oak I can see on the left?
If I'm not mistaken it's an Ash.
There are trees in the clip????!!!!
Well something is standing upright...
You can tell she's a woman because her handling of that sub-machine gun is very poor.
Why would a woman carry a gun when she's clearly on her way to breastfeed a crèche?
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Fockin tits on that
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I have a feeling we will actually score this time out,law of averages says we will . Only trouble is we will concede more ,1 -3
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I have a feeling we will actually score this time out,law of averages says we will . Only trouble is we will concede more ,1 -3
Is there a match on? I thought this thread was all about that bird's knockers
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What bird with knockers? Have I missed something?
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Remember the god awful team K Mac put out against Spurs while in temporary charge? That has never sat easy with me. I just hope someone has the balls to spill the beans about the goings on behind the scenes. There has been a rancid stench about the place for the last 5 years. I am hoping Hollis &Co are going to cut out the the cancer that has eaten away at the club and allow our wonderful club to rebuild itself.
well said
Seconded.
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birds tits is it spring ?
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Bounce and taking care of Gabby and Richards in one gif!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/oDDEfZkth8Xe0/giphy.gif)
Is that a green oak I can see on the left?
If I'm not mistaken it's an Ash.
There are trees in the clip????!!!!
Well something is standing upright...
You can tell she's a woman because her handling of that sub-machine gun is very poor.
Why would a woman carry a gun when she's clearly on her way to breastfeed a crèche?
Because! That's why. Just please keep talking about guns! It's becoming a thing on H&V pre-match threads now.
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I'd rather keep talking about tits than guns. And not the 11 tits we are forced to endure on a matchday either.
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0-5 mins: under constant pressure.
6-40 mins: play pretty well, all things considered.
41 mins: someone on match thread says "I hope that was our bad half ".
45 mins : pathetic piece of defending gifts goal to Chelsea
45 mins: people on match thread giving it lots of "there it is" style comments
48 mins: concede pathetically again.
55 mins: and again
60 mins: match thread people suggesting it could "be five or six here"
70 mins : concede pathetically
70-90 mins: all signs of players collectively giving a shit disappear as Chelsea knock the ball about between themselves
Can you just post this as the match thread tomorrow, then lock it?
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Bounce and taking care of Gabby and Richards in one gif!
(https://media.giphy.com/media/oDDEfZkth8Xe0/giphy.gif)
Is that a green oak I can see on the left?
If I'm not mistaken it's an Ash.
I don't know what sort of tree it is, but it's definitely wood.
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It appears the budget for that movie wasn't sufficient to provide her with a correctly fitting top.
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It appears the budget for that movie wasn't sufficient to provide her with a correctly fitting top.
Looks fine to me ;D
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It appears the budget for that movie wasn't sufficient to provide her with a correctly fitting top.
The jeans however, seem to fit fine
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Purely out of ahem research purposes... what is the name of the film?
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I'm simply appalled by all that bounce in her hair!
A stiff application of Elnett would have done the trick!
I have a spray container in my hand, at the ready!
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It appears the budget for that movie wasn't sufficient to provide her with a correctly fitting top.
Top? Is she wearing one? Oh well
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We're still hanging on
We're still hanging on
How sh-t is this league
We're still hanging on!
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Got a man coming to service the boiler at half past ten. Didn't realise it was an early kick off. Hope he takes his time so that I don't have to go and endure something else that needs servicing. Damn! There goes the doorbell.
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I would rather watch her Bristol Cities than villa at the moment
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Loss.