Tony's Tweets

[Malandro]

My wife met a famous footballer in South East London

Peckham?

Not that famous.

I knew Mr Green would be in the middle of this

[brian green]

My wife was attacked by Red Indians

Wichita?

They all did

Sawnee?

All over

Flathead?

It was always like that

Blackfoot?

Just bruising

Creek?

Only when she moves

Mobile?

Just about

Sioux?

Of course.

[Clampy]

I think these jokes have run their course now to be honest.

[Edvard Remberg]

My wife bought a car

London?

No Birmingham

[mr underhill]

The auditions for next year's fringe are over. In other news aliens are thought to be behind a mysterious noise emanating from a far away star system

[Hookeysmith]

My wife has a fanny that fits like a glove
Well I can get 5 fingers in it 

Whilst having sex I asked if there was a chance I could give her a baby
She said no as she has the coil fitted
With the size of her growler she should have had carpet fitted

Moved the jokes up to the 1970's working mens clubs level

[Percy McCarthy]

My wife has a fanny that fits like a glove
Well I can get 5 fingers in it 

Whilst having sex I asked if there was a chance I could give her a baby
She said no as she has the coil fitted
With the size of her growler she should have had carpet fitted

Moved the jokes up to the 1970's working mens clubs level

I think I'd rather go back to the fifties.

[AlexAlexCropley]

Those tiny sweetener  sachets in cafes.What's that all about.
Moved it to the 80s now.

[Toronto Villa]

Of all the days he's been a bit quiet today hasn't he?

[Hookeysmith]

I think he only speaks when it's justified to either confirm or negate rumours

[mjlions]

Just tweeted    We're done this window. Nothing can be perfect as we tried2 more. But we achieved our early plan!Great work by the whole new team! #UTV

[Hookeysmith]

Great work indeed by all

[frankmosswasmyuncle]

Well done Doc!

Now, let's win some games team!

UTV!

[nodge]

Dr. Tony Xia ‏@Dr_TonyXia  2m
We're done.  just sparked up a fat one .#UTV

[MonsXI]

On Gabby rejecting Reading :

I was disappointed with this. I said2gabby that going somewhere even he unlikes playing convince us a real man. https://t.co/EcIOXRLfG1