Aston Villa v Newcastle United Match Thread

[Risso]

I dont fucking believe it, the hotel bar I am in has just put on the theme from that 80's DJ who used to read out sad stories.

Dear Simon Bates


This is a story about a lost love.  It starts back in 2006, when I met a new man, a lovely American called Randy.  After the previous bloke he seemed perfect, much younger, charming and with lots of money.  He even got a tattoo with my name on.  At first everything was perfect, he promised me the world, and whatever I wanted, he bought me, and made sure I was well looked after.  But then as the years passed, things began to turn sour.  He stopped coming to see me, and I suspect he was still seeing his American love back in the states.  He stopped spending money, slowly at first but then altogether, claiming he couldn't afford it.  Pretty soon he stopped taking an interest in me altogether.  Could you play me the following tune, which for some reason reminds me of our last year together:

[HK Villan]

Is it really as bad as it seems from this thread?

Yes.

[Monty]

I actually feel sorry for the players in a way. That formation is almost guaranteed to make them look bad.

Bannan and Westwood each have two players to mark, their opposite number and the advancing full back. Lowton and Bennett are often outnumbered two to one. Newcastle had options free every time they came forward. We on the other hand are crowded out and can do little but hoof.

Add in the fact that some players are not good enough to do what is asked of them and 0-2 getting off lightly.

FFS Lambert this formation stinks of goals against. Sort that out now and get some proper midfielders tomorrow.

Exactly what I feel. They've been rubbish, but it's hardly surprising given the 'job' they've been asked to do.

[bones.]

I'm off for a dump.  When I get back I expect to find that Lambert has resigned, Lerner has sold up, and we've re-registered Mellberg and Laursen.

Take a book and dont come back for some time then.

[Rudy Can't Fail]

Murphy: "So you're shopping in Lidl rather than Waitrose?"

Lambert: "....there's nothing wrong with Lidl. I've seen you shop in there, Pat."

Except lambert would wander around aimlessly not having a fucking clue what he needed to buy.

He'd probably buy a tonne of frozen food, get home and then realise he's got nothing to eat until he can thaw out something.

[pauliewalnuts]

We're like an abandoned ship here. Just left to the elements.

That's the best, most succinct description of Aston Villa at the current time I've heard.

Spot on.

[Boz]

Given Lambert's team normal second half performance, it could be 4 or 5. QPR still drawing so they'll be overtaking us very shortly.

[Tuscans]

Honestly now guys...but when do you see us winning our next game??  Everton, West Ham, Arsenal, Man City, Reading, QPR, Liverpool, Stoke, Fulham, Man Utd, Sunderland, Norwich, Chelsea, Wigan.

Im not joking when I say I can't see us winning any one of them 

[IronDukeVillain]

This current squad would struggle in the championship, i fear we may go down like Leeds and Southampton did, quite quickly!

[Fergal]

I have got to go back to my room at half time, the fucking music in this hotel bare is worse than our managers tactics...

[Ross]

Do you think they'll freeze the season ticket prices for next season? 

No you'll get more games for your money though.

[PaulWinch again]

None every team is better than us.

[Steve kirk]

What a difference a couple of signings has made to Newcastle plus obviously playing us is a massive help but honestly are we just going to go down with a whimper ? It's unbelievable

[NeilH]

We are watching our great club unravel right in front of our eyes. Its really frightening to watch.

I've lost all confidence in any of them and were I not to laugh at our calamitous fall from grace it would truly start to get to me.

[Rudy Can't Fail]

37 pages at half-time? usually match threads only reach about 35 pages after 90 minutes?

It's easier on the eye reading on here than watching the game.