Not persuing Washington up the Hudson and thus causing the independance of America, thus causing everything bad that country has done.
Starting a conspiracy to abolish the word 'fewer' because supporters of the word 'less' are paying him in ancient Persian pornography.
Phil Dowd.
Mussolini.
That unbelievably annoying "they're gonna taste great" Frosties ad from a few years ago.
The rise of Red China.
Keith, Ian and Andy on ITV's FA Cup coverage.
Fosters.
The Goetterdaemmerung, Ragnarok and general end of the world that will inevitably result from him playing Gabby on the wing.