Summer 2010 Transfer Thread: B*llsh*t, Rumours & Wishes

[midnite]

I remember milner saying the same thing when he made his England debut last year- footballers these days in the main are mercenaries and I'm sure the lure of champions league football in London would interest him.

Having seen many top players leave over the last 30 yrs the club would survive this if he did go and who knows albrighton could be in the same bracket as him in a couple of years.

Is ashley young cup tied with playing on Thursday or does that not count playing Europa then champions league?
I don't think he'll go. He knows that this isn't normal for a club like villa. I would imagine Lerner would have him in the office like they did with Milner and talk over the plans. Young wasn't too long ago saying he'll sign a contract extension. We'll get the new manager in then look at tying young down long term I think.

[eastie]

According to sky he wouldn't be eligible to play until after the group stages.

[Chris Smith]

Players come and players go chris, we are fortunate we have players coming through from a very good youth academy , but that's the nature of the game.

The top 4 will continue to attract the top players because the champions league is the holy Grail- we somehow have to break into that elite group but in all honesty the only way to do that is huge investment , randy has given it a real go and we got close to it, but it's very much a catch 22 situation.

The game now is all about the rich getting richer and wages are obscene- what a great shame it's come to this in our national sport.

None of that means that Lerner has to say yes if Spurs make an offer.

We might as well just pack it all in if we're going to be as soft a touch as you suggest.

[Toronto Villa]

sorry, don't believe this Ashley Young to Spurs nonsense for a second. It's enough that we lost Milner shortly after our manager. Do you think the board that are that stupid as to sell our best player on top of all of that before hiring a new manager? And when selling the club to a new managerial candidate, imagine the conversation when the topic turns to ambition. I'm not saying Young will be here forever, but he sure isn't going now.

[eastie]

Nothing would surprise me anymore - players hold most of the cards and if ash did want to go I think he would have to ask to leave- we are not a soft touch but we have to accept the game has changed in favour of the players and if ash is happy to stay then he will do so.

[JJ-AV]

Twat.

[OCD]

Twat.

I bet she's got a nice one.

[Ads]

Young isn’t going anywhere. Not without a manager and not without the time to spend the money to replace him. Total garbage based on the notion that he wants to return to a city where he was not born, lived nor worked in.

[ronshirt]

'DELIGHTED' - THE MUSICAL


ACT THREE


The Barton Arms - around a table centre-stage sit CHRIS SMITH, THE MONETTES and DAVE WOODHALL.


LEGION returns from the bar carrying several pints of MacDonald's Old Peculiar (ABV 3.4: a surprising and unusual combination of ingredients. Very nice).

CHRIS SMITH: I read the news today, oh boy.
                       Messiah Martin had just quit his job.
                       Although the rumours had been noised
                       I was still smacked of gob.
                       I felt a proper knob.

                       His resignation letter ran -
                       'The sale of Ashley Young I must decline,
                       And as for superman Ireland:
                       Stick him where sun don't shine'.

THE MONETTES: Nobody was really sure if that was what he really said.


LEGION returns from the bar carrying several pints of Phil's Brown Ale (ABV - 5.9: hints of Brut Aftershave and Boots Economy Sunscreen. Very nice).

DAVE WOODHALL: You're talking nonsense as per, Chris.
                              I smell another thin hypothesis.
                              Of proof concrete you are bereft
                              Why your Messiah left.
                              He's just another cleft.

THE MONETTES: We'd love to learn the truth.

LEGION produces a stylophone and plays an ascending chromatic scale that lasts twenty minutes.


FX. The sound of breaking glass.


Enter THE GNASHER through a stained-glass window depicting the 13th century goal-scoring exploits of Brother Pongo of Waring.

THE GNASHER: online i have no peer
                        gnashers logic you should fear
                        i will brook no man to say me nay
                        in my quest to put o'neill away

THE GNASHER begins to emit an acrid smoke as his few remaining logic circuits finally fail.

                       on my bank of tv sets
                        i saw the news with few regrets
                        em oh en and all his backroom team
                        had quit and then i went into a dream

LEGION returns from the bar carrying several pints of Charley Parley's Pale Ale (ABV - 10.8: undertones of hogwash and soft soap. Very nice).

                        heh ..... heh ...... heh ...... heh

THE GNASHER'S hydraulic system begins spraying everyone with a caustic solution.


                        face/palm ..... larf

THE GNASHER'S head, already revolving at 1000 rpm, spins away killing the cockle man.

                        brian clough ....

There is a huge explosion as THE GNASHER expires from pure euphoria.

                        eeeurg .... meh .....  eeeeurggg

When the smoke clears we see only CHRIS SMITH and an inert and seemingly lifeless GNASHER.  The dust and light combine to form a halo around the head of CHRIS SMITH.

CHRIS SMITH: I read the news today, oh boy.
                       Our new Messiah now is Kevin Mac.
                       The only one we dare employ
                       To bring the good times back.

THE MONETTES rise serenely from the rubble wearing the wings of angels.


THE MONETTES: And now we are all filled with feelings that are less than those of utter joy.


CHRIS SMITH: I'd love to learn the truth.



THE END



THE CAST:


CHRIS SMITH - Johnny Depp

THE MONETTES:

       VILLADAWG - Richard Beckinsale
       
       GUY M - John Le Mesurier

       PERCY - Charles Bronson

THE GNASHER - Steven Berkoff

LEGION - Tony Hancock

DAVE WOODHALL - Sir Patrick Moore

NICK LEES - Paul Whitehouse

HILTSCOOLERKING - Paul Newman

MARTIN O'NEILL - Sir Alec Guinness

JOHN ROBERTSON - Sid James

STEVE WALFORD - Terry Thomas



Vuvuzelas are now on sale in the foyer.
   

[Monty]

Magnificent, Ron.

[TheSandman]

Brilliant.

Now on to this Ashley Young to Spurs rumour. It simply won't happen. They have 23 wingers and don't seem to be making any signings. Levy doesn't sanction big money moves even now they've qualified for the CL groups. 'Arry has said that he wouldn't be able to tempt us to sell (Usually he'd say he's a trific player we'll see what we can do 'onest guv if he was going to make the signing). He's also implied he won't make any new signings.

Basically there is more chance of me playing left wing for Spurs this season than Ashley Young and I don't like Spurs, have no left foot, am shit at football, play in defence, am at least two stone overweight and not as good as any of Spurs 23 left wingers.

[supertom]

Ron, that was different gravy mate! Top draw. I'd pay to see a production of that, starring the real life counterparts from H&V. You should do a full play and get it produced, and I'm only half kidding! I don't mind being a Monette, if I get paid with a packet of porky scratchings.

[hilts_coolerking]

Good work Ron.  Paul Newman - I'm happy with that.

[Clampy]

According to sky he wouldn't be eligible to play until after the group stages.

I don't mean to be rude East but you're probably one of the most depressing and predictable posters on here. You believe anything and everything the media say and print.

[JJ-AV]

Milan sign Zlatan. Huntelaar and Boriello available.