James Milner's awesomeness

[supertom]

James Milner holidays on the Sun. He can also dip in and out of black hole as he pleases.

[supertom]

James Milner could break David Coulthards jaw.

[Mazrim]

James Milner covers more positions than the Karma Sutra.


James Milner wrote the Karma Sutra.

[AV82EC]

To paraphrase the great Sid Wadell

Its said that Alexander the Great cried salt tears at the age of 33 because there were no more worlds to conquer..........................James Milner is 24.

[Risso]

In this world nothing is certain but death and James Milner scoring from a penalty.

[AV82EC]

Shakespeare actually wrote

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
And his name is James Milner.

[supertom]

Stephen Hawkings had a conversation with James Milner about the secrets of the Universe, and immediately after ending it, he went and changed his name to Dumbass Hawkings by deed poll.


When James Milner last ran a marathon, which he won by a clear hour, he stopped for a shit near the end, and Paula Radcliffe came out.

[Concrete John]

James Milner once guest starred in Scooby Doo.  he solved the mystery in 1.2 seconds, mainly as the ghost was scared of him, he then beat up Scrappy Doo and had a threesome with Daphne and Velma.

Fred and Shaggy have never been heard from since.

[Irish villain]

Chuck Norris is James Milner's son.

[KevinGage]

Meatloaf would do anything for love.

But he won't arm wrestle James Milner.

Or be Postma'd.

[martin_riat]

Giraffes were created when James Milner uppercutted a horse.

Had me guffawing like a loon.

Oh the imagery. I think I did a little wee.

[martin_riat]

Einstein was just plain wrong.
E=JM2

[martin_riat]

James Milner doesn't think life is like a box of chocolates.
He knows exactly what he's gonna get.

[martin_riat]

The Beatles were going to say they were bigger than James Milner. They realised their error and downgraded appropriately.

[martin_riat]

It is the rule in war, if ten times the enemy's strength, surround them; if five times, attack them; if double, engage them; if equal, be able to divide them; if fewer, be able to evade them; if weaker, be able to avoid them. If the enemy is James Milner, pack your shit up and go home....you're fucked.