James Milner's awesomeness

[UK Redsox]

James Milner fought the law and he won

[Mazrim]

James Milner can hurry Love.

[Mazrim]

It takes James Milner 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.

[Mazrim]

James Milner destroyed the periodic table because James Milner only recognises the element of suprise.

[Mazrim]

They say Time and Tide wait for no man. Unless that man is James Milner.

There is a James Milner new tricks academy exclusively for old dogs.

[taylorsworkrate]

James Milner once made a bluenose a respectable member of society, simply by looking at him

[joe_c]

A census taker once tried to test James Milner. He ate his liver with some fava beans and a non-alcoholic chianti.

[joe_c]

Keaton once said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is James Milner.

[VillaZogmariner]

Keaton once said, "I don't believe in God, but I'm afraid of him." Well I believe in God, and the only thing that scares me is James Milner.

Lock the thread, we have a winner!

[joe_c]

James Milner loves the smell of napalm in the morning.

[spartacuss]

James Milner goes to the shipyard every morning.
Throws steel girders up to the working platform.  
Runs up... catches them.  Rivets them with his teeth.
Refreshes himself with a steaming mug of 20/50 engine oil.

Then he starts his shift.

[VillaZogmariner]

James Milner doesn't pop his collar, his shirts just get erections when they touch his body.

[VillaZogmariner]

When James Milner gives you the finger, he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

[VillaZogmariner]

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. James Milner can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

[VillaZogmariner]

Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of James Milner's sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.