Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: pauliewalnuts on November 01, 2019, 07:10:30 PM
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I absolutely fucking hate this fixture. It's the same every fucking year.
How many points do you think you will amass by the end of the match tomorrow?
3 POINTS - for every car observed travelling NORTH on M40, M1 or M6 prior to match with Liverpool scarf in evidence
5 POINTS - Japanese person walking around ground, looking confusedly at tickets.
2 BONUS POINTS - as above, but wearing a surgical mask.
5 POINTS - Drunk, red-faced Irish man in Liverpool shirt.
5 POINTS - Jester hat wearing Scandinavian
7 POINTS - Person brazenly wearing Liverpool shirt on concourse in home stand.
5 POINTS - Celebrating Liverpool 'fan' in home seat who is such a seasoned 'fan' they are totally unaware of the concept of segregation.
3 POINTS - Half and half scarf - unpurchased
5 POINTS - Half and half scarf - being worn
25 POINTS - full kit wanker
1 POINT - for each person observed pre match, at front of stand, pitchside taking a photograph
1 POINT - each rendition of totally hilarious 'Sign on, sign on' style song referencing economic hardship from home fans.
1 POINT - each rendition of YNWA from away fans
2 POINTS - each rendition of that dirgey Fields of Anfield Road song
3 POINTS - confused person approaches you and asks for directions to Trinity Road, Witton or North Stand
6 POINTS - as above but directions to Holte End.
5 POINTS - each variant of '6 TIMES' seen on back of a Liverpool shirt.
1 POINT - per pang of intense man love felt for James Milner.
1 POINT - shout of 'PENALTY!' from away fans
2 POINTS - inexplicable decision giving in Liverpool's favour
4 POINTS - VAR review goes against us
2 POINTS - per occurrence of angry Villa fans pointing at undercover away fans, looking at stewards, holding arms out wide
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Train fare increased from the nw tomorrow, loads of gobby scousers, zero points, every decision going their way (even though they don’t need the generosity) having to put up with their stragglers on the way home - give me a proper blues fan any day
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It's a real head-scratcher wondering which way any VAR decisions will go tomorrow...
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Post of the season.
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Brilliant, although I reckon VAR should be just one point because you can guarantee that will be going against us tomorrow.
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Brilliant Paulie!
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1 POINT - every away flag with something trying too hard to be profound about Liverpool on it.
2 POINTS - every time a bum fluffed youth in a Villa stand does a hilarious "calm down, calm down" with arms outstretched at the Liverpool fans when they grumble about a throw in not going their way.
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Think we'll avoid away fans in our end.
Saw a tonne of the day trippers at Keele services Wednesday night. Gimps.
Their away support and Everton's is utter shit too.
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Post of the season.
Too grumpy.
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I've lost track....are we still allowed to sing "In the Liverpool slums" these days?
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1 POINT - every away flag with something trying too hard to be profound about Liverpool on it.
2 POINTS - every time a bum fluffed youth in a Villa stand does a hilarious "calm down, calm down" with arms outstretched at the Liverpool fans when they grumble about a throw in not going their way.
Good shouts.
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Saw one aboration scarf printed Smith v Klopp. Who the fucks buys such shit
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Saw one aboration scarf printed Smith v Klopp. Who the fucks buys such shit
Snakelike Day Tripping Twats of a scouse persuasion ?
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16 points for me today, I’m assuming those who have to go near the Away end scored higher.
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Saw one aboration scarf printed Smith v Klopp. Who the fucks buys such shit
First thing I saw walking out from Aston station at lunchtime. Really wanted to ask the bloke how many he thought he'd sell, and what he'd do with all the leftovers.
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What the actual fuck is the game coming to? I noticed a seller compliments of a photo on the bbc website selling not only a half and half scarf but another dreadful one with images of Smith and Klopp. Adorned with ‘Smith v Klopp I was there!’ Just fcuk off.
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(https://i.ibb.co/Zgv30Xz/F499827-D-15-BD-4312-ABA0-62-F61-CEAE4-FB.jpg) (https://ibb.co/Zgv30Xz)
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(https://i.ibb.co/Zgv30Xz/F499827-D-15-BD-4312-ABA0-62-F61-CEAE4-FB.jpg) (https://ibb.co/Zgv30Xz)
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"Aston.V"? In how many ways is it possible for one scarf to offend?
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Saw one aboration scarf printed Smith v Klopp. Who the fucks buys such shit
First thing I saw walking out from Aston station at lunchtime. Really wanted to ask the bloke how many he thought he'd sell, and what he'd do with all the leftovers.
I overheard two scouse scarf sellers by the Holte steps on Witton Lane just before 2pm; one said “I ain’t sold one yet mate have you? “ “no mate “ came the reply.
I felt quite Proud
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Great news. Surprised not to have seen a 'f*** VAR' scarf yet. That could sell loads around B6.
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(https://i.ibb.co/Zgv30Xz/F499827-D-15-BD-4312-ABA0-62-F61-CEAE4-FB.jpg) (https://ibb.co/Zgv30Xz)
Why? Just why?
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The only legitimate use for a half and half scarf is as a noose for the wearer.
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Seen two 18 year old lads wearing them in the Holte concourse at half time. I was about to say something but my need for a leak was greater. Hope someone else managed to educate them.
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Seen two 18 year old lads wearing them in the Holte concourse at half time. I was about to say something but my need for a leak was greater. Hope someone else managed to educate them.
You’ve spelled ‘execute’ incorrectly.
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The Holte will/should be pretty much 100% ST holders, or Claret members. None one of whom would ever wear one of those scarves, therefore they were nailed on Ploppers. They should have been chucked out simply on that basis.
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I've got to admit I really don't like those half and half scarf they do get people's back up.
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Great news. Surprised not to have seen a 'f*** VAR' scarf yet. That could sell loads around B6.
Half and Half with African Car Reverser and we might be on to a money spinner.
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Great news. Surprised not to have seen a 'f*** VAR' scarf yet. That could sell loads around B6.
Half and Half with African Car Reverser and we might be on to a money spinner.
Now you're talking.
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I'm ready to take orders.
https://www.wildemasche.com/shared/Football-scarf.html?design=1572949381_7ea9b9f5fd
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I'm ready to take orders.
https://www.wildemasche.com/shared/Football-scarf.html?design=1572949381_7ea9b9f5fd
Haha. Superb. I'll take 82.
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Good work Bish.
(https://i.ibb.co/JRbxG4r/11-CF99-F4-51-EC-4811-A4-BF-7-BEDE0-C98990.jpg) (https://ibb.co/JRbxG4r)
You do realise now Dave knows he can easily knock up a ‘H&V - Luke 77’ half and half scarf to go with their new clothing collaboration.
The possibilities are endless: fall out with another poster, rather than being banned, find yourself commemorated with them on a half and half scarf.
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I'm ready to take orders.
https://www.wildemasche.com/shared/Football-scarf.html?design=1572949381_7ea9b9f5fd
I’m seeing ACR and all I can think is “Shack Up”
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"2 POINTS - inexplicable decision giving in Liverpool's favour"
How many points did this one score in the end?