James Milner's awesomeness

[Yossarian]

There are a few on Facebbok and some were posted yesterday on the Match Thread but lets get them altogether in one place. Here are a couple of my own and a couple I have shamelessly nicked to start us off.

Chuck Norris wears a T-shirt that says, "I wish I was as awesome as James Milner".

James Milner wrote a book. James Joyce tried to read it but found it too difficult.

James Milner can divide by zero.

Chuck Norris tried to be James Milner but got nowhere near so he had to settle for being Chuck Norris.

[Bad English]

James Milner wrote a book. James Joyce tried to read it but found it too difficult.

I am claiming this. :-)

[villasjf]

eh?

[Bad English]

When Chuck Norris played 'soccer' at breaktime he would pretend to be be James Milner.

[Bad English]

The second one was that awesome I thought James Milner had written it.

[Yossarian]

James Milner's shirt has Milner written on the back. So does Chuck Norris'.

[Yossarian]

James Milner's shot is so hard he can kick a ball around the planet and hit himself on the back.

[Arsey]

As is on my facebook.

James Milner can divide by zero.

[kippaxvilla2]

My mum said that if I don't drink my milk when I grow up I will be as good as James Milner.  James Milner who's he, exactly.....

Shit that doesn't work does it.

[Arsey]

James Milner played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

[Arsey]

If at first you don't succeed, you're not James Milner

[Arsey]

For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For James Milner, each testicle is larger than the other one.

[Villa'Zawg]

And on the eighth day God began to dream of a footballer called James Milner.

[Mike Jeffries]

Did you know that James Milner played saxaphone on Gerry Rafferty's hit single "Baker Street"?

[Yossarian]

James Milner is never tackled, he sometimes shows mercy.