Rantin' Robert

Rantin' Robert

makes his debut on the H&V Web

I thoroughly enjoyed our victory over the Small Heath clones from Coventry. It didn't take long to shut up their Neanderthal supporters and I hope they enjoyed their half time soaking. On the pitch they were just as bad, it was a miracle that Whelan didn't get sent off. If this dirty bastard is a footballer then the Pommeister is a legitimate businessman. Who the hell does Supersub Strachan think he is? Putting himself on with two minutes left then running round shouting at everybody - did the decrepit old tart think he was going to save the game? We even had to score their goal for them. And did anybody else see the Witton Lane stand moving in the wind?

I await with interest the FAs reaction to the referee's report on the Small Heath v Wrexham match when the "best supporters in the land" (c the Pornmeister, 1996) threw their usual number of objects on to the pitch. Having seen the FA. bottle out time after time when this filth start their antics, here is Honest Rob's ante-post book for the outcome:

Evens - no action taken.
2-1 - another suspended sentence of a fine and ground closure.
10-1 - £50,000 fine, suspended two match ground closure.
100-1 - ground closed for one match, then suspended on appeal.
1,000-1 - ground closed for one match, £100,000 fine.
1,000,000-1 Ground closed forever, club expelled from league, £1 billion fine, Sullivan & Beelzebub executed.

Oh, for the outsider.

I see there's a good chance we might have an almost local derby with the Whining Wolves next season. It would be a miracle if a team with such pitiful home form could get promoted, but it doesn't say much about the rest of the division, does it?

I read somewhere that Winston Bogarde and Patrick Kluivert are leaving Ajax on frees at the end of the season. Reckon that's what Brian's waiting for?

Where else but football? If you're offered shares in a company that has continually failed over the last 120 years, has a customer base of which it's ashamed, is run by a porn-peddling strip club owner and is a laughing stock in its locale, would you be interested? And at £500 a shot, would you be less interested? Where else?

After the Sunderland game. A good three points if not a great performance. Savo scores and Villa win, but it's not good enough for some Villa supporters, oh no. They've got to get on the radio and complain that Savo is useless. Never mind the fact that he's just scored a cracking goal, they want shot of Mm. Why do some people just have to have a scapegoat?

Then on comes another little pearl of wisdom sign Stan Collymore, he's a Villa fan, he'll be proud to play for us. Now how many times more do we have to hear this bollocks being churned out? He's said time and again that he was a Wolves fan. I'll spell it out for the benefit of anybody who still hasn't registered.

C.O.L.L.Y.M.O.R.E. I.S. A. W.O.L,V.E.S. F.A.N. I suppose this simpleton believes that Andy Gray really loves the Villa, And then this comedian just gets better "If Brian Little had Ron Atkinson's charisma he'd have signed Collymore by now". Of course, it's all coming clear to me now. Never mind massive wages, glory and the prospect of winning trophies, players actually sign for the manager who tells the best one-liners. Maybe we should get Harry Enfield in as manager. It's a good job for Chelsea that the King of Comedy obviously didn't rate Zola otherwise he'd have been off to Highfield Road like a shot.

I suppose this clown would still like Fatkinson to be at the Villa, Sicknote at number ten, Houghton and Richardson in midfield and Yorke in the reserves, or more likely at another club for a million quid. If you're reading this mate, get a life.

Another match, another Saturday night phone-in and I'm sure it's still the same bloke. He's first on XTRA and it's the same old tune: "Savo's useless, got no pace, got no skill, can't score, doesn't deserve the number nine shirt, he's a joke. " (It wasn't Pete Rollason was it ? - WebMaster) This guy then goes on to praise the workrate of Dean Saunders. Let's take a look at some facts, shall we?. Saunders might have run around a lot, but I can hardly remember him having a shot at goal. Saunders at Forest has scored less than half the goals Savo has this season. And against Forest, Savo would have scored another winner but for a tosspot jobsworth linesman.

The last time I looked there were eleven players in the Villa team. How come the rest of 'em aren't slagged to bits for not helping out in the goalscoring stakes? Just to give one example, our goal return from midfield has been abysmal for years.

The fact is that the pressure to win games falls squarely on Dwight and Savo's shoulders and as Yorke is exempt from criticism then for some people Milosevic is the easy target. If the rest of the team chipped in occasionally then perhaps we wouldn't have Mr Radio Moaner keeping on every week.

Tell me, who will we have to make fun of when Mr 666 finally shuffles away on his cloven feet from the Sty, forked tail flapping in the breeze? Now Pornoman has given him a vote of confidence, it can only be a matter of time. Bring back Bazza, I say.

Rob Wardle