Welcome Back BE
Cheers! I was supposed to be off the pop for two weeks as of today but I had to go into my local to gloat. Ended up having a couple. wanted to share with you so asked ChatGPT to write the usual adaptation of Bjørge Lillelien's legendary commentary.
This is what Grok came up with.
ASTON VILLA! ASTON VILLA FC!
We’ve beaten them! We’ve beaten them all!
We’ve beaten Arsenal!
And you Arsenal fans!
You hipster Gooners in your flat-pack Islington flats, sipping oat-milk lattes and crying into your £120 replica shirts!
You TikTok tacticos who think football began in 2004!
You “In Arsène We Trust” merchants still waiting for the second coming!
You Emirates tourists who clap when the big screen tells you to!
You “North London is red” merchants who’ve never been north of Watford Gap in your lives!
You Piers Morgan! Yes, YOU Piers Morgan, screaming at your telly in your Sussex mansion – stick that on Good Morning Britain tomorrow, you absolute helmet!
Mikel Arteta! Bald Fraudiola! Your “process” just got absolutely processed!
Declan Rice – £105 million pounds for a slightly posh Scott Parker!
Martin Ødegaard – the Norwegian prince who plays like a frightened librarian!
Gabriel Jesus – more missed chances than a blindfolded darts player!
Aston Villa are the kings of the Midlands!
Kings of England!
Kings of Europe!
Birmingham is claret and blue tonight!
Up the bloody Villa!
We’ve beaten them all! We’ve beaten them ALLLLLL!»
(Unashamedly delivered in the style of a slightly drunk Brummie who’s just seen Emery masterclass his old club into next week.)P.S. Welcome back BE, the grammar's gone to pot in your absence.