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Author Topic: And that's the truth  (Read 1300 times)

Online dave.woodhall

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And that's the truth
« on: April 29, 2020, 02:03:38 PM »
From no. 248, February 2020

Conor Hourihane was born on an ancient Gaelic birthing stool made from a design laid down by St Patrick.

During a speech given to the Birmingham County FA in 1894, William McGregor stated that there would never be a time when the population of Birmingham would countenance two major football clubs in the city.

Ron Vlaar was conceived in the shadow of a dyke during full moon. This accounts for his unusually hollow bone structure.

When played backwards, the final track on Black Sabbath’s eponymous debut album from 1970, Warning, ends with the words “Docherty Out”, believed to be a reference to Villa manager Tommy Docherty, who was sacked within days of the album’s release. 

Mustapha Salifou is now believed to be the Mr Big behind Togo’s flourishing warehouse party scene.

John Lennon went to school with Ron Saunders’ cousin Helen. They had a brief romance but she was warned about messing a
around with long-haired scruffs at an emergency family conference.

When the compulsory purchase of a part of Bodymoor Heath was originally mooted, there were concerns that altering the lay out of the training ground would affect its feng shui. Tony

Xia brought in experts to reassure staff members and local residents. 

Tony Daley was the first man caught in a speed trap by West Midlands Police. In court the case was dismissed when it was proved that he was running at the time.

Leighton Phillips was once secretary of the Cardiff branch of the Tremeloes fan club.


When Villa won the Sheriff of London’s Charity Shield in 1901 the trophy remained in London as the team were told on the train at Euston that they weren’t putting that great thing on a seat and there was no room in the guard’s van.

James Collins once had a German stalker who claimed that he’d met and seduced her during a pre-season tour.

When he played for Hibs, John McGinn would often nip round to Irvine Welsh’s house to discuss eighties acid house. On occasions, former Marillion singer Fish would join them.

Plans to make a film of Doug Ellis’s life story had to be shelved when it was remembered that the proposed titles King of Kings, The Greatest and The Greatest Story Ever Told had already been used.

Randy Lerner spent some of the money he received from selling the Villa on investigating the possibility of aliens landing in Ohio during World War Two.

Tony Dorigo’s father played bass in an early incarnation of AC/DC.

Since leaving his job as manager of Scotland, Alex McLeish has become an authority on the training of West Highland terriers

During his time in prison, former Birmingham City owner Carson Yeung developed a morbid fear of keys. As a result, since his release from prison he has refused to enter a house or use any form of motorised transport. He lives on the beach and walks everywhere.
 
Brad Friedel is the great-great nephew of Hiram Friedel III, the second man to spot the incoming Japanese attack on Pearl Harbour, where he was serving in the US Marines at the time.

A nomadic tribe in the Gobi desert worship Pat MacMahon, Chico Hamilton and Jim Cumbes. They were once visited by a film crew making a TV documentary, who left them the Topical Times Annual 1973 as a keepsake.

When he joined Burnley Danny Drinkwater was forced to take part in an initiation ceremony that involved swearing a blood oath to the mysterious Holy Order of the Flat Cap. When he signed for Villa he was let off it after Tom Heaton had a word with Ashley Westwood.

After Villa played a league game at Arsenal in 1932. Eric Houghton and Joe Beresford stayed over and went to the Finsbury Park Music Hall, where they were offered eight pounds a week to perform as a novelty ball-juggling act.

In the summer of 1956 Nigel Sims, Johnny Dixon and Jimmy Dugdale earned a few pounds by playing extras in the classic war film The Battle of the River Plate, starring John Gregson and Anthony Quayle.

John Terry has the biggest Meccano collection in London. He obtained much of it from David Beckham, who wasn’t allowed to take his own set when he moved to America.

Before becoming a footballer Shaun Teale spent his early working life roadieing for anarcho-punk band the Subhumans.

The team’s reward for winning the league in 1910 was a trip to Weston. Joe Bache missed the train back and had to sleep in the waiting room overnight. George Ramsay left the money for his ticket with the station master and Joe paid him back two shillings a week.

Peter MacParland was once asked to become King of the Solomon Islands.

After the 1982-83 game with Small Heath that resulted in Noel Blake being sent off, both teams were banned from playing friendlies in Albania for thirty years.

The reason why Shay Given was bomb squadded was that he insisted on playing REM’s 2011 album Collapse into Now after training and Paul Lambert thought they’d done nothing worth listening to since New Adventures in Hi-Fi

When he was on loan in Australia Ross McCormack lived on a sheep farm forty-seven miles from the next house.

Orjan Nyland invested his signing-on fee in a company that makes replica Viking longboats.

James Corden once tried to buy a ticket for the lower Holte. The Villa website flashed up an error message telling him that his sort weren’t welcome here.

Frederic Gulbert is 287th in line to the throne of France as ordained by the Bourbonist succession. His mother’s 7x great-uncle was the Comte de Provence.

Pierluigi Golini claims that the reason he never settled at Villa was that on his first day of training he parked in Alan Hutton’s space and the rest of the team wouldn’t speak to him after that. 

Until 1939 anyone who held an original share in Aston Villa Ltd were allowed to pick one player for the team in a game of their choice. 

The reason why Benito Carbone played for so many clubs is that he gave the wrong change to the mother of a Mafia don when working as a Saturday boy in his local paper shop so he was advised by the carabinieri not to stay at the same address for too long. 

Gary Shaw was the Kingshurst under-16s knock & run champion for three consecutive years 1972-74.

Bjorn Engels’ grandfather came won the Best Waffles Maker in Belgium competition, 1955. He was unable to travel to the European final because it was being held in Spain and he didn’t have a passport.

As part of his rehabilitation from injury last season Henri Lansbury took a Grade Three line-dancing instructor’s qualification. 

After retiring from football Mark Draper learned to play the guitar and he is currently playing with Nottinghamshire’s premier Pulp tribute band The Common People. 
« Last Edit: May 09, 2020, 02:32:13 AM by dave.woodhall »

Offline eamonn

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Re: And that's the truth
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2022, 04:57:41 PM »
This post of zingers deserved replies and not silence upon posting, two years ago. The Shay Given/Paul Lambert REM one wins it for me, I think  ;D

 


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