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Author Topic: Foie gras and football  (Read 1448 times)

Online dave.woodhall

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Foie gras and football
« on: April 19, 2021, 12:18:46 PM »
According to PETA (, "to produce foie gras (the French term means 'fatty liver'), workers ram pipes down the throats of male ducks twice each day, pumping up to 2.2 pounds of grain and fat into their stomachs, or geese three times a day, up to four pounds daily, in a process known as 'gavage'. The force-feeding causes the birds’ livers to swell to up to ten times their normal size. Many birds have difficulty standing because their engorged livers distend their abdomens, and they may tear out their own feathers and attack each other out of stress.

The birds are kept in tiny cages or crowded sheds. Unable to bathe or groom themselves, they become coated with excrement mixed with the oils that would normally protect their feathers from water.”

The continent’s most avaricious football clubs, aided and abetted by the Premier League’s most stupid billionaires, have - like geese voting for brioche - decided to do what amounts to creating a breakaway European Super League. Let’s leave aside for a moment the endless stupidity of such a move, and have a look at what’s in it for them. They think that the world watches their games because it enjoys seeing them cruise to 3-0 wins against the likes of the Villa. They have no concept of why the most commented-upon game of the season was the Villa’s 7-2 defeat of one of their franchises. These people are morons, with no regard for the sport they’re polluting.

It’s not an original thought that people will be just as bored by a mid-table clash between Milan and Spurs as they would be at one between Burnley and Newcastle. And while we’re on Spurs, let’s think about them for a second. They’ve won two league titles in their history, the last one 60 years ago. They last won a trophy in 2008 under a manager they sacked from not delivering them to where they wanted to be. In historical terms, they’re nearly as good as Huddersfield. And they’re one of Europe’s elite teams? Yeah, enjoy the fromologist at the new stadium and pretend you’re not in Tottenham.

As a fan of a club that recently spent three years in the Championship, I know all too well, and all too happily how easy it is to forget that ‘elite’ football exists. My fiance drives me around in her Ford Fiesta, and when she does, I’m not thinking of Ferraris. I’m glad I’ve left A and I’m looking forward to reaching B.

On the day of writing there was an FA Cup semi-final between Leicester and Southampton. I don’t care what the score was, but it was good to see that such a fixture was being played out between two genuine middleweights that would love to win the trophy. That it was a battle to decide who gets to lose the final against Chelsea is all the more reason to welcome the possible exits of the ‘big six’.

There is nothing in this for any of the clubs involved. The project will fail. Even if the project succeeds, they will Fail. Stan Kroenke’s Arsenal leading Europe? Yes, the other one has bells on. And when Manchester City win their fifteenth title, well, I know that they’ll call a Bank Holiday. In Abu Dhabi and the surrounding areas, but eff that.

On what they’ll leave behind, I’m optimistic. Everton, Aston Villa, Newcastle United, Leeds United. I don’t think the sky will fall in upon the loss of one of the two worst teams in Manchester, the fourth biggest club in London and two of the most terrible ‘elite’ teams anywhere in the world (both of whom have N postcodes). Competitive sport, remember that?

The TV companies will blast this to death. All our players will be linked with moves to Atletico Madrid or Inter. And nobody will watch. Well, nobody will pay to watch. The lads in Ghana, Bangladesh and Vietnam will be fascinated but, like lots of others, they’ll do so on illegal streams. The project will die, as will the strength of the clubs that go.

Like those ducks and geese, the intended recipients of this misadventure will think that they’ve got all they ever wanted. When they’re distended and covered in excrement, they might just think back to how good things were when they were living in relative poverty on the farm, hungry and free.

After thirty years of a closed shop at the top of the league, it’s ironic that it’s a closed shop that will finish that cartel off.  Off you go, fellas, you won’t be missed.

Sexual Ealing

Online Monty

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Re: Foie gras and football
« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2021, 01:27:01 PM »
Top stuff Paddy, though I remain depressed at the end of the sport and its associated dreams.

Offline Rory

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Re: Foie gras and football
« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2021, 02:41:26 PM »
Agreed, nice article, Paddy, and a suitably powerful analogy.

Offline olaftab

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Re: Foie gras and football
« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2021, 03:37:31 PM »
Paddy you have summed it up for me. Thank you.

Offline alanclare

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Re: Foie gras and football
« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2021, 04:46:57 PM »
Beautiful. I've taken the liberty of copying it to send to my grandson. Thank you.

Offline Lucky Eddie

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Re: Foie gras and football
« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2021, 06:59:20 PM »
Theyr'e not actually leaving though are they? They're sticking around at weekends to carry on cleaning up in their domestic leagues.

Offline Bad English

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Re: Foie gras and football
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2021, 07:15:22 PM »
I had some cracking home-made foie gras yesterday.

Offline olaftab

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Re: Foie gras and football
« Reply #7 on: April 19, 2021, 07:42:22 PM »
I had some cracking home-made foie gras yesterday.
Once on a trip to Mazamet (work) my hosts took me to a foie gras production facility because I had said how much I like the local product. It wasn't pleasant and ever since that viewing I have not had the stomach to eat it. 

Offline JD

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Re: Foie gras and football
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2021, 07:45:46 AM »
Great article SE.


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