Bruce Sacked at last (now official)

[mr underhill]

graphite geezer, graphite.

[AV82EC]

I’m sorry but the Cupping each other’s slenders line from his Ode to Heskey was one of the highlights of H & V in the MON era.

[Risso]

Here's one of Glenn's poems that mentions slenders.  To have made up a phrase that gets regular use on H&V, and literally nowhere else in society is worthy of mention I reckon.

This weekend's game is massive. To commemorate the moment, I have
penned the following poem. Enjoy it, lads.

The Road to Blackburn

We got up early and made some toast.
We had a wash and put on our pants.
We had a shave and a shit.
We had a pint and we were ready.

Off we went on the road to Blackburn at home.
Going along the Chester Road to Erdington.
Me, Mac, SoccerHQ and Karl Bridges.
We were listened to Spandau Ballet and smoking JPS.

Then we parked the car and met up with some people.
Dave Woodhall was there, saying: "I remember the 1970s."
And we all agreed. And then we talked about our favourite smells.
Grease, boiling kettles, wood, soft toys and old men.

Up pulled Jonny Collett, pulling skids in his flash new motor.
"Alright Jon," said SoccerHQ. "Got a new motor?"
Then we made our to Villa Park, singing our famous anthem.
Pah, pah, pah! Pah, pah, pah! Dah, dah! Pah, pah, pah! Pah, pah, pah!

Then the match. Bent pounced from a yard, like a young Ian Olney.
Young, Gabby, Dunne. Four-nil. Then three more in the second from Bent.
We all cried and sang, like the old days of The Holte.
And we left the ground with a smile and a wink.

Then off to the Barton's for a pint or three.
We chanted and held arms. Some held hands.
Some men cupped each other slenders. It was that kind of day.
Women sang, too. And Andy Gray. But not Richard Keyes.

"A great day," said Mac as he downed his whiskey and bitter.
"Ladyboys," muttered Eastie, as we all laughed at some cheese.
"I need a piss," said Risso, phoning in from his Isle of Man castle.
"A great day," seconded Glenn Peen, as he cut off his chap.

[chrisw1]

and I always thought he was only funny in his own head.  Oh well, each to their own.

[LeeB]

...."Ladyboys" muttered eastie....

Lol

[mr underhill]

The Road to Blackburn - blimey.

[cdbearsfan]

I quite like that, to be fair. Far less scatological than his usual efforts.

[Drummond]

I notice Henry is now linked with Egyptian national team. Perhaps that's the reason for the link with us. Or our owner has set it up...

[Chris Harte]

This weekend's game is massive. To commemorate the moment, I have
penned the following poem. Enjoy it, lads.

The Road to Blackburn

We got up early and made some toast.
We had a wash and put on our pants.
We had a shave and a shit.
We had a pint and we were ready.

Off we went on the road to Blackburn at home.
Going along the Chester Road to Erdington.
Me, Mac, SoccerHQ and Karl Bridges.
We were listened to Spandau Ballet and smoking JPS.

Then we parked the car and met up with some people.
Dave Woodhall was there, saying: "I remember the 1970s."
And we all agreed. And then we talked about our favourite smells.
Grease, boiling kettles, wood, soft toys and old men.

Up pulled Jonny Collett, pulling skids in his flash new motor.
"Alright Jon," said SoccerHQ. "Got a new motor?"
Then we made our to Villa Park, singing our famous anthem.
Pah, pah, pah! Pah, pah, pah! Dah, dah! Pah, pah, pah! Pah, pah, pah!

Then the match. Bent pounced from a yard, like a young Ian Olney.
Young, Gabby, Dunne. Four-nil. Then three more in the second from Bent.
We all cried and sang, like the old days of The Holte.
And we left the ground with a smile and a wink.

Then off to the Barton's for a pint or three.
We chanted and held arms. Some held hands.
Some men cupped each other slenders. It was that kind of day.
Women sang, too. And Andy Gray. But not Richard Keyes.

"A great day," said Mac as he downed his whiskey and bitter.
"Ladyboys," muttered Eastie, as we all laughed at some cheese.
"I need a piss," said Risso, phoning in from his Isle of Man castle.
"A great day," seconded Glenn Peen, as he cut off his chap.

Wow! Amazing. And to think I always assumed he was a harmless class-A bellend.

[ktvillan]

Here's one of Glenn's poems that mentions slenders.  To have made up a phrase that gets regular use on H&V, and literally nowhere else in society is worthy of mention I reckon.

This weekend's game is massive. To commemorate the moment, I have
penned the following poem. Enjoy it, lads.

The Road to Blackburn

We got up early and made some toast.
We had a wash and put on our pants.
We had a shave and a shit.
We had a pint and we were ready.

Off we went on the road to Blackburn at home.
Going along the Chester Road to Erdington.
Me, Mac, SoccerHQ and Karl Bridges.
We were listened to Spandau Ballet and smoking JPS.

Then we parked the car and met up with some people.
Dave Woodhall was there, saying: "I remember the 1970s."
And we all agreed. And then we talked about our favourite smells.
Grease, boiling kettles, wood, soft toys and old men.

Up pulled Jonny Collett, pulling skids in his flash new motor.
"Alright Jon," said SoccerHQ. "Got a new motor?"
Then we made our to Villa Park, singing our famous anthem.
Pah, pah, pah! Pah, pah, pah! Dah, dah! Pah, pah, pah! Pah, pah, pah!

Then the match. Bent pounced from a yard, like a young Ian Olney.
Young, Gabby, Dunne. Four-nil. Then three more in the second from Bent.
We all cried and sang, like the old days of The Holte.
And we left the ground with a smile and a wink.

Then off to the Barton's for a pint or three.
We chanted and held arms. Some held hands.
Some men cupped each other slenders. It was that kind of day.
Women sang, too. And Andy Gray. But not Richard Keyes.

"A great day," said Mac as he downed his whiskey and bitter.
"Ladyboys," muttered Eastie, as we all laughed at some cheese.
"I need a piss," said Risso, phoning in from his Isle of Man castle.
"A great day," seconded Glenn Peen, as he cut off his chap.

GP was a much under appreciated genius of absurdist humour.  The "cupping of slenders" line is legendary.  The last line still makes me laugh out loud. 

[Rudy Can't Fail]

The last line still makes me laugh out loud. 

Same here.

[PeterWithesShin]

He's about as funny as Stewart Lee. Which is very very very unfunny indeed.

[eamonn]

How did the ode to Emily Heskey go?

[Sexual Ealing]

Have I taken DMT?

[SirSteveUK]

One minor thing that may explain a thing or two to our wonderful management team is Bruce trusts more Calderwood on the bench than the more progressive and attacking Agnew.

Has Agnew gone?
I've never rated Calderwood; not sure what he brings over and above the SB philosophy*.




* the SB philosophy being: I don't do tactics and let's make sure we don't concede.

Calderwood is assistant manager - not a coach per se
Agnew / Clemence are coaches.