Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Legion on January 09, 2016, 02:06:34 PM

Title: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Legion on January 09, 2016, 02:06:34 PM
1. Lamppost
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Legion on January 09, 2016, 02:07:00 PM
2. Traffic cone
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: PeterWithesShin on January 09, 2016, 02:07:29 PM
3: Palm tree (with his old hairstyle)
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Chris Harte on January 09, 2016, 02:08:34 PM
4. Tony Cascarino tribute act.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: aj2k77 on January 09, 2016, 02:08:53 PM
Stand in for Treebeard in LOTR.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: four fornicholl on January 09, 2016, 02:09:07 PM
growing my sweet peas up this year
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Jon Crofts on January 09, 2016, 02:13:44 PM
Washing line pole
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: saunders_heroes on January 09, 2016, 02:15:07 PM
Can't even use him as a bog brush now he's cut his hair.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: CT on January 09, 2016, 02:17:19 PM
Hat / Coat stand
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Jon Crofts on January 09, 2016, 02:22:52 PM
Laurel or Hardy.  You choose.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Rudy Can't Fail on January 09, 2016, 02:25:16 PM
11. Glue
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: johnc on January 09, 2016, 02:28:21 PM
Can't even use him as a bog brush now he's cut his hair.
Sideshow Bob lookalike
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Jimbo on January 09, 2016, 02:30:14 PM
Weather station.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Risso on January 09, 2016, 02:33:03 PM
I literally can't think of anything that he'd be any use at, even in a comedy sense.  He's just a great big gangly, lazy, utterly talentless, terrible, terrible player.  I've seen some shit at Villa over the last 35 odd years, but he's so startingly bad, there's nobody even close to being as bad he is.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: aj2k77 on January 09, 2016, 02:34:14 PM
Bus stop.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: villadelph on January 09, 2016, 02:35:21 PM
Lightbulb installer.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: aj2k77 on January 09, 2016, 02:35:55 PM
One of those things they hang a naan bread from.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Percy McCarthy on January 09, 2016, 02:37:41 PM
I'd say basketball player but you need some hand/eye co-ordination.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: SamTheMouse on January 09, 2016, 02:38:31 PM
Lightning rod. Just remember to make him hold up a golf club.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Jimbo on January 09, 2016, 02:38:41 PM
I'd say basketball player but you need some hand/eye co-ordination.

Basketball basket.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: aj2k77 on January 09, 2016, 02:41:01 PM
He moves like something from a 1980's spectrum computer game.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Morleys left boot on January 09, 2016, 02:41:37 PM
Perhaps this is what they meant when they said the club is to announce the NEW CHAIR
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: CT on January 09, 2016, 02:42:20 PM
I'd say basketball player but you need some hand/eye co-ordination.

...and actually moving around occasionally.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: West Derby Villan on January 09, 2016, 02:43:19 PM
A folly
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: mikeb1982 on January 09, 2016, 02:43:53 PM
...nope, can't think of anything...
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: aj2k77 on January 09, 2016, 02:46:00 PM
A pin on a golf course.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: eddiemunster on January 09, 2016, 02:46:26 PM
wouldn't it be better to start a post asking for 101 things better than Gestede as our centre forward?
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Tayls_7 on January 09, 2016, 02:47:44 PM
Footballing saboteur.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: CJ on January 09, 2016, 02:47:53 PM
wouldn't it be better to start a post asking for 101 things better than Gestede as our centre forward?

Same thing
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Witton Warrior on January 09, 2016, 02:47:57 PM
He could stand outside the Holte End and I could lean against him while waiting for my mate...
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: mikeb1982 on January 09, 2016, 02:48:07 PM
wouldn't it be better to start a post asking for 101 things better than Gestede as our centre forward?
A persistent cold
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: ASHTONVILLA on January 09, 2016, 02:48:46 PM
Hat stand
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: TopDeck113 on January 09, 2016, 02:49:55 PM
wouldn't it be better to start a post asking for 101 things better than Gestede as our centre forward?

Most of the answers would be the same.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: mikeb1982 on January 09, 2016, 02:50:01 PM
If he is, ahem, "in proportion" a female friend of mine with loose-ish morals would find some use for him.  I'll let her know.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: D.boy on January 09, 2016, 02:52:33 PM
scratch post for a cat
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Tony Erdington on January 09, 2016, 02:59:46 PM
he's not very good, but as his only footballing skills is to some times head the ball, he don't get much supply. But to consistently pick him, makes Garde look like a right. cock
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Villafirst on January 09, 2016, 03:05:02 PM
Concrete fence post.....or may be not - the fence post has a use.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: CJ on January 09, 2016, 03:07:26 PM
Pantomime donkey (rear end)
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Karlos96 on January 09, 2016, 03:14:26 PM
Scarecrow......
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Pete3206 on January 09, 2016, 03:35:22 PM
Target practice
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: holte hero on January 09, 2016, 03:38:26 PM
Pinyana!!! Bagsie first hit
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Pete3206 on January 09, 2016, 03:46:32 PM
(https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xft1/v/t1.0-9/12417801_571447453008030_2887826869142821869_n.jpg?oh=1b2abd0f51b027906d883cd757be437e&oe=573EC9D4)
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: LeeB on January 09, 2016, 03:49:04 PM
Stylish hatstand.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: sirlordbaltimore on January 09, 2016, 03:49:41 PM

kit man
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: CT on January 09, 2016, 03:55:14 PM
Certainly had a couple of words for fans as the walked (as he did for the entire game) off down the tunnel at the end.

I'm beginning to think he's one of the worst players I've ever seen. And I saw David Hunt.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: myf on January 09, 2016, 03:59:19 PM
he's not very good, but as his only footballing skills is to some times head the ball, he don't get much supply. But to consistently pick him, makes Garde look like a right. cock

this. Hes proven himself in lower division so if we're not going to cross the ball its gardes error in playing him.

not good enough for the prem but it would be foolish ti ship him out when we're headed to chumps
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Villan For Life on January 09, 2016, 04:11:10 PM
One of those real life statues that you see on New Street.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: aj2k77 on January 09, 2016, 04:12:49 PM
he's not very good, but as his only footballing skills is to some times head the ball, he don't get much supply. But to consistently pick him, makes Garde look like a right. cock

this. Hes proven himself in lower division so if we're not going to cross the ball its gardes error in playing him.

not good enough for the prem but it would be foolish ti ship him out when we're headed to chumps

One good season in the Championship.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: The Laughing Policeman on January 09, 2016, 04:13:16 PM
He could go back to his old hairstyle.
(http://img.izismile.com/img/img2/20090827/scarecrow_00.jpg)
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: levico on January 09, 2016, 04:20:16 PM
Something for a trainee taxidermist to practice on
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: CT Villan on January 09, 2016, 04:20:24 PM
A garden hoe...or Tim Sherwood's toilet brush*

*before he cut his hair
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: VinnieChase84 on January 09, 2016, 04:21:46 PM
Ticket stub tearer at the cinema
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: in exile on January 09, 2016, 04:26:29 PM
Heroes & Villains seller
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Nastylee on January 09, 2016, 04:51:42 PM
Broom stick, extendable ladder, scaffold pole, piss post for dogs.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: JUAN PABLO on January 09, 2016, 04:55:36 PM
lighthouse
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Legion on January 09, 2016, 04:57:46 PM
Telegraph pole
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Ajdainty89 on January 09, 2016, 05:00:20 PM
I'm off shopping with the miss' and I end up with the 'I can't be arsed' face whilst walking at the very minimal pace from rack to rack.


So if no one has taken him, I could use his services.
I've got the experience yet he's more qualified for this shopping stuff!
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Villa in Denmark on January 09, 2016, 05:57:30 PM
I'd say basketball player but you need some hand/eye co-ordination.

Basketball basket.

Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Bad English on January 09, 2016, 06:00:32 PM
As an anagram: Turds edge ye!
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: wittonwarrior on January 09, 2016, 06:08:13 PM
Stretch on that American TV show
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: TEMPORALIS on January 09, 2016, 06:21:00 PM
A woeful Jimmy Hendrix look-a-like. 
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: not3bad on January 09, 2016, 06:25:08 PM
Loan him back to Blackburn and get them to pay his wages.  Then make the move permanent at the end of the season.  He was at least doing something at that club.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Woofles The Wonder Dog on January 09, 2016, 06:32:17 PM
(http://cdn.comicartfans.com/Images/Category_8203/subcat_92932/simonbond.jpg)
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: andyh on January 09, 2016, 06:32:24 PM
Guttering cleaner outer.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Bad English on January 09, 2016, 06:40:52 PM
As Jar Jar Binks in a surprise non-CGI return in Star Wars Episode VIII.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Jon Crofts on January 09, 2016, 06:44:18 PM
Whatever you found as a use for him, I bet he'd still be shit at it.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Jon Crofts on January 09, 2016, 06:57:17 PM
Rudy Gestede wins the Ballon D'Or.

Oh my mistake, it was Rudy Gestede misses barn door.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Mortimer's Bear on January 09, 2016, 07:02:00 PM
I can accept that he's shit, but he couldn't have looked less interested today. Plenty of shit players get away with it to an extent due to their endeavour and willingness to try.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Holtemeister on January 09, 2016, 07:10:15 PM
Chocolate Fireguard
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: nibs on January 09, 2016, 07:21:31 PM
Somebody to make Ian Ormondroyd look like Pele
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Ian. on January 09, 2016, 07:38:21 PM
A musical statue teacher
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: CJ on January 09, 2016, 09:22:32 PM
Shop window dummy
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: oswald funkletrumpet on January 09, 2016, 09:31:36 PM
a plastic fake dog shit

jason lee tribute act
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Toronto Villa on January 09, 2016, 09:37:24 PM
Any suggestion except professional footballer is fair game. Such a limited footballer. We would have to change everything about the way we play just to accommodate him and even then I doubt he's salvageable. A bit part squad player that comes off the bench like at Newcastle is as far as it should go with him. What on earth did our scouts see when we wasn't scoring with his head? Literally everything else about his play is shocking
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: avfc_1874 on January 09, 2016, 10:27:01 PM
He's good with the kids.

(http://ep.yimg.com/ay/yhst-134059276344646/physical-education-tetherball-087948-sportime-in-ground-galvanized-steel-tetherball-pole-for-pemanent-or-temporary-installation-2-section-pole-8.gif)
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Villa in Denmark on January 09, 2016, 11:04:32 PM
Lighting rod.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: glasses on January 09, 2016, 11:08:50 PM
Personally, if we had a couple of players capable of crossing a football in the squad, I'd play him as a centre forward. Occasionally. I accept he isn't a great centre forward. His biggest strength I'd his aerial ability, which we've seen him use to good effect with good crosses from Amavi (the only good crosser)
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Ian. on January 09, 2016, 11:15:01 PM
An aid for short people like me to reach higher shelves in the kitchen.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: peter w on January 09, 2016, 11:17:43 PM
Again it's not his fault he's out of his depth. An upgrade on Bowery and hung out to dry when he was the 'replacement' for Benteke. Really feel for him because he's running on empty.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: ozzjim on January 09, 2016, 11:18:58 PM
The only thing on that Glasses, he was statuesque today on the few times we did cross it, never looking to be on the end. I think all his confidence is gone, and he does not even try and attack the ball.

As for a use. We could start selling rides at half time on the donkey.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Ian. on January 09, 2016, 11:24:05 PM
He needs dropping, even if we play bloody Bacuna up front. His head has gone and it's like watching an injured animal.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: glasses on January 09, 2016, 11:24:07 PM
Is it a wonder his confidence has gone though, and he's not alone in that regard. I find this thread pretty distasteful to be honest. Singling him out when there are several poor players seems a bit like just picking the easy target. He didn't buy himself
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: peter w on January 09, 2016, 11:25:04 PM
I agree fully glasses.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: ozzjim on January 09, 2016, 11:34:48 PM
He needs dropping, even if we play bloody Bacuna up front. His head
 has gone and it's like watching an injured animal.

That is about right. He has got qualities that we saw at Newcastle in the second half he helped turn the game, the goals against Blues and Bournemouth, but we have to get crosses in from much more square on the box, be attacking down the flanks not playing in a diamond and play to his strengths. Even Sherwood, who bought him, then tried to play Gil and Grealish behind him, which was equally pointless. Once we had gone down the route of Gestede surely getting a winger either side that can beat a man and cross a ball was a must.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: David_Nab on January 09, 2016, 11:49:20 PM
Well TS's plan was Gestede with Lennon and Townsend on the wing.

His confidence is shot  , he just stands around in the box and doesn't move for the ball.We could cross more that is true but against West Ham he has good cross's and wasted them.There was a few ok cross's today he just  didn't move for.His hold up play is not very good either which doesn't allow us to bring people into the game around him.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: glasses on January 09, 2016, 11:52:50 PM
Well TS's plan was Gestede with Lennon and Townsend on the wing.

His confidence is shot  , he just stands around in the box and doesn't move for the ball.We could cross more that is true but against West Ham he has good cross's and wasted them.There was a few ok cross's today he just  didn't move for.His hold up play is not very good either which doesn't allow us to bring people into the game around him.
just because he got on the end of a few crosses doesn't mean they were good crosses.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Lucky Eddie on January 10, 2016, 11:09:45 AM
Scapegoat
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: PeterWithe on January 10, 2016, 11:15:35 AM
I can accept him being crap, he's not the only one, what I can't accept is that he doesn't make the required effort, he doesn't move, doesn't challenge for the ball or use the few attributes he does possess for the team's benefit.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: CT on January 10, 2016, 11:23:12 AM
I can accept him being crap, he's not the only one, what I can't accept is that he doesn't make the required effort, he doesn't move, doesn't challenge for the ball or use the few attributes he does possess for the team's benefit.

Absolutely this - 100% for me too.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: OzVilla on January 10, 2016, 11:23:49 AM
I feel a bit sorry for him too. He looks totally shot to me, rather than looking for space he seems more than happy to be marked, almost like he doesn't want a chance to come his way.

A confident Rudy would be an asset in the Championship. Could understand though if he just wanted to get out ASAP. It hasn't worked out at all.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: PeterWithe on January 10, 2016, 11:25:08 AM
Yup, spot on, he hides on the pitch, which I suppose is some sort of achievement for a bloke of six feet four.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Risso on January 10, 2016, 11:26:01 AM
Scapegoat

Not a scapegoat.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Clampy on January 10, 2016, 11:30:26 AM
It's seems wrong to pick players out considering we are so bloody awful but yesterday he was just shocking. He contributed nothing except a few flick on's. It was horrible to watch.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: john2710 on January 10, 2016, 11:32:01 AM
He makes me wish we still had Emile.
Blackburn payed £200k for him & that's what he's worth.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Pete3206 on January 10, 2016, 11:35:35 AM
Is it a wonder his confidence has gone though, and he's not alone in that regard. I find this thread pretty distasteful to be honest. Singling him out when there are several poor players seems a bit like just picking the easy target. He didn't buy himself

Boo frickin hoo. This bloke is on a monster wage and can't even be bothered to achieve the minimum requirement of being arsed. He's built like a brick shithouse, yet allows even League 2 centre halves to bully him. These players need to grow a fucking pair
I can accept him being crap, he's not the only one, what I can't accept is that he doesn't make the required effort, he doesn't move, doesn't challenge for the ball or use the few attributes he does possess for the team's benefit.

Spot on. These players need a rocket up their arse, not tea and sympathy.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: oswald funkletrumpet on January 10, 2016, 12:18:34 PM
Is it a wonder his confidence has gone though, and he's not alone in that regard. I find this thread pretty distasteful to be honest. Singling him out when there are several poor players seems a bit like just picking the easy target. He didn't buy himself

Boo frickin hoo. This bloke is on a monster wage and can't even be bothered to achieve the minimum requirement of being arsed. He's built like a brick shithouse, yet allows even League 2 centre halves to bully him. These players need to grow a fucking pair, not
I can accept him being crap, he's not the only one, what I can't accept is that he doesn't make the required effort, he doesn't move, doesn't challenge for the ball or use the few attributes he does possess for the team's benefit.

Spot on. These players need a rocket up their arse, not tea and sympathy.

agree 100%

for such a big lump he has zero physical presence, the oaf could at least look vaguely interested
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: ChicagoLion on January 10, 2016, 12:32:15 PM
A stake.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Villa in Denmark on January 10, 2016, 02:04:36 PM
Well TS's plan was Gestede Adebayor with Lennon and Townsend on the wing.

His confidence is shot  , he just stands around in the box and doesn't move for the ball.We could cross more that is true but against West Ham he has good cross's and wasted them.There was a few ok cross's today he just  didn't move for.His hold up play is not very good either which doesn't allow us to bring people into the game around him.

And on no planet in this dimension is Gestede the next alternative to Adebayor as Benteke's replacement.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: glasses on January 10, 2016, 02:14:42 PM
Is it a wonder his confidence has gone though, and he's not alone in that regard. I find this thread pretty distasteful to be honest. Singling him out when there are several poor players seems a bit like just picking the easy target. He didn't buy himself

Boo frickin hoo. This bloke is on a monster wage and can't even be bothered to achieve the minimum requirement of being arsed. He's built like a brick shithouse, yet allows even League 2 centre halves to bully him. These players need to grow a fucking pair, not
I can accept him being crap, he's not the only one, what I can't accept is that he doesn't make the required effort, he doesn't move, doesn't challenge for the ball or use the few attributes he does possess for the team's benefit.

Spot on. These players need a rocket up their arse, not tea and sympathy.

agree 100%

for such a big lump he has zero physical presence, the oaf could at least look vaguely interested
My point was that there are several players not worthy of wearing a villa shirt right now, or being premier league footballers, and I just don't see why he has a whole thread dedicated to how useless he is, when the team is full of poor players. I think it's unfair. I'm not saying he's the second coming of Pele, or that he doesn't deserve stick when he's not played well, but do you not think that this thread is scapegoating/picking on an easy target?
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Mellin on January 10, 2016, 02:19:42 PM
It's just a culmination of some really shoddy performances. Guzan's had it, Westwood's had it, Richard's had it, Hutton's had it, Lescott's had it, many of them have. Gestede, and rightly so, is getting all the stick he deserves.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Risso on January 10, 2016, 04:17:17 PM
It's seems wrong to pick players out considering we are so bloody awful but yesterday he was just shocking. He contributed nothing except a few flick on's. It was horrible to watch.

Which is exactly the same as almost every other match he's played in.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: CT Villan on January 10, 2016, 04:32:16 PM
My point was that there are several players not worthy of wearing a villa shirt right now, or being premier league footballers, and I just don't see why he has a whole thread dedicated to how useless he is, when the team is full of poor players. I think it's unfair

Don't worry as I think this will be a regular feature and they'll all get a turn...next up, 101 Uses for Ashley Westwood
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Jockey Randall on January 10, 2016, 04:52:58 PM
Is it a wonder his confidence has gone though, and he's not alone in that regard. I find this thread pretty distasteful to be honest. Singling him out when there are several poor players seems a bit like just picking the easy target. He didn't buy himself

Boo frickin hoo. This bloke is on a monster wage and can't even be bothered to achieve the minimum requirement of being arsed. He's built like a brick shithouse, yet allows even League 2 centre halves to bully him. These players need to grow a fucking pair
I can accept him being crap, he's not the only one, what I can't accept is that he doesn't make the required effort, he doesn't move, doesn't challenge for the ball or use the few attributes he does possess for the team's benefit.

Spot on. These players need a rocket up their arse, not tea and sympathy.

Obviously it's never going to happen but I think it would be interesting to see the reaction of the players if everyone turned up and was fully 100% behind them even after they produce yet another slack pass or missed chance. They haven't reacted all season to the anger and frustration vented their way, making them feel they're not as bad as they really are might see them play slightly better?
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: oswald funkletrumpet on January 10, 2016, 05:03:56 PM
My point was that there are several players not worthy of wearing a villa shirt right now, or being premier league footballers, and I just don't see why he has a whole thread dedicated to how useless he is, when the team is full of poor players. I think it's unfair

Don't worry as I think this will be a regular feature and they'll all get a turn...next up, 101 Uses for Ashley Westwood

on the bench for an under 11's girls skipping team or a directions giver for lost motorists we need to fully utilise his excellent pointing skills
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: oswald funkletrumpet on January 10, 2016, 05:07:18 PM
Is it a wonder his confidence has gone though, and he's not alone in that regard. I find this thread pretty distasteful to be honest. Singling him out when there are several poor players seems a bit like just picking the easy target. He didn't buy himself

Boo frickin hoo. This bloke is on a monster wage and can't even be bothered to achieve the minimum requirement of being arsed. He's built like a brick shithouse, yet allows even League 2 centre halves to bully him. These players need to grow a fucking pair
I can accept him being crap, he's not the only one, what I can't accept is that he doesn't make the required effort, he doesn't move, doesn't challenge for the ball or use the few attributes he does possess for the team's benefit.

Spot on. These players need a rocket up their arse, not tea and sympathy.

Obviously it's never going to happen but I think it would be interesting to see the reaction of the players if everyone turned up and was fully 100% behind them even after they produce yet another slack pass or missed chance. They haven't reacted all season to the anger and frustration vented their way, making them feel they're not as bad as they really are might see them play slightly better?

this has to be a wind up?

apart from the last two games what anger has been vented at them?

they have had the full support of fans
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: PaulWinch again on January 10, 2016, 05:20:56 PM
As I've said elsewhere he is the least imposing target man I've ever seen. He makes no use of his physical size and the rest of his game wouldn't look out of place in a primary school kick around. I fear his time at Blackburn was an anomaly. Look at the rest of his career, his record is atrocious. At Cardiff he scored 7 in 55.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Ads on January 10, 2016, 05:30:06 PM
If you're to play up front on your own then you need to be mobile and have some physicality. Gestede has neither.

He could get on the end of an Amavi crosses and that is really it. He is an abysmal player.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: UK Redsox on January 10, 2016, 05:51:58 PM
My point was that there are several players not worthy of wearing a villa shirt right now, or being premier league footballers, and I just don't see why he has a whole thread dedicated to how useless he is, when the team is full of poor players. I think it's unfair

Don't worry as I think this will be a regular feature and they'll all get a turn...next up, 101 Uses for Ashley Westwood

(http://7-themes.com/data_images/out/8/6795787-german-shorthaired-pointer-wallpaper.jpg)
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: brian green on January 10, 2016, 05:52:41 PM
He cannot judge goal kicks. His height and limited jumping ability is lost because he jumps at an angle while the defender jumps vertically.  If he does make contact it is with the side of his head so the ball is never knocked down accurately. It just skids anywhere.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Bad English on January 10, 2016, 05:56:55 PM
Had Gestede been around in the Seventies, he could have been a stand in for Lee Majors during Steve Austin's "bionic running' scenes in the Six Million Dollar Man

Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: brian green on January 10, 2016, 06:00:47 PM
Don't know about Steve Austin Darren but he would make a hell of a stand in for Austin Powers.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Ian. on January 10, 2016, 06:03:13 PM
My point was that there are several players not worthy of wearing a villa shirt right now, or being premier league footballers, and I just don't see why he has a whole thread dedicated to how useless he is, when the team is full of poor players. I think it's unfair

Don't worry as I think this will be a regular feature and they'll all get a turn...next up, 101 Uses for Ashley Westwood

(http://7-themes.com/data_images/out/8/6795787-german-shorthaired-pointer-wallpaper.jpg)
Brilliant! However he'll never win Cruffs, you need ability, agility and obedience.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: supertom on January 10, 2016, 06:08:19 PM
He improves numbers at the Emile Heskey Fan Club.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Nunkin1965 on January 10, 2016, 06:16:06 PM
Not the best striker I've ever seen by any stretch but the stinking service he gets from his team mates doesn't help much.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: pauliewalnuts on January 10, 2016, 06:26:27 PM
Gestede is not alone in being not good enough, but what makes him different is the degree to which he is not good enough.

I don't get the "amazing in the air" thing. He isn't. He's a big fucker who manages to lose way more aerial duels than he wins. For a big fucker he has zero physical presence, too.

His ball skills are lamentable. It's like he's playing in leg braces or orthopaedic shoes or something.

The fact we replaced the guaranteed goals of Benteke with Gestede is just utterly laughable. Whoever made that decision needs to be sacked.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Jockey Randall on January 10, 2016, 06:34:38 PM
Is it a wonder his confidence has gone though, and he's not alone in that regard. I find this thread pretty distasteful to be honest. Singling him out when there are several poor players seems a bit like just picking the easy target. He didn't buy himself

Boo frickin hoo. This bloke is on a monster wage and can't even be bothered to achieve the minimum requirement of being arsed. He's built like a brick shithouse, yet allows even League 2 centre halves to bully him. These players need to grow a fucking pair
I can accept him being crap, he's not the only one, what I can't accept is that he doesn't make the required effort, he doesn't move, doesn't challenge for the ball or use the few attributes he does possess for the team's benefit.

Spot on. These players need a rocket up their arse, not tea and sympathy.

Obviously it's never going to happen but I think it would be interesting to see the reaction of the players if everyone turned up and was fully 100% behind them even after they produce yet another slack pass or missed chance. They haven't reacted all season to the anger and frustration vented their way, making them feel they're not as bad as they really are might see them play slightly better?

this has to be a wind up?

apart from the last two games what anger has been vented at them?

they have had the full support of fans

It wasn't a pop at the fans in any way. I should have specified it was more of an observation of how football fans in general react in our situation. I.e would the players react differently to an army of fans who remained 100% positive throughout a game regardless of any setbacks the team met. Could it make a difference? Obviously this is football and there will always be fans at any club who turn when things go sour on the pitch.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Nunkin1965 on January 10, 2016, 06:36:07 PM
Gestede is not alone in being not good enough, but what makes him different is the degree to which he is not good enough.

I don't get the "amazing in the air" thing. He isn't. He's a big fucker who manages to lose way more aerial duels than he wins. For a big fucker he has zero physical presence, too.

His ball skills are lamentable. It's like he's playing in leg braces or orthopaedic shoes or something.

The fact we replaced the guaranteed goals of Benteke with Gestede is just utterly laughable. Whoever made that decision needs to be sacked.

Got to agree with that one. Who the hell made that call. Unless real money was spent Benteke was always going to be a tough act to follow.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Jockey Randall on January 10, 2016, 06:39:54 PM
Gestede is not alone in being not good enough, but what makes him different is the degree to which he is not good enough.

I don't get the "amazing in the air" thing. He isn't. He's a big fucker who manages to lose way more aerial duels than he wins. For a big fucker he has zero physical presence, too.

His ball skills are lamentable. It's like he's playing in leg braces or orthopaedic shoes or something.

The fact we replaced the guaranteed goals of Benteke with Gestede is just utterly laughable. Whoever made that decision needs to be sacked.

I don't know how many he's won compared to how many he's lost but according to whoscored he's won an average of 6.5 aeriel duels a game which is the best in the league so far.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: oswald funkletrumpet on January 10, 2016, 06:45:00 PM
My point was that there are several players not worthy of wearing a villa shirt right now, or being premier league footballers, and I just don't see why he has a whole thread dedicated to how useless he is, when the team is full of poor players. I think it's unfair

Don't worry as I think this will be a regular feature and they'll all get a turn...next up, 101 Uses for Ashley Westwood

(http://7-themes.com/data_images/out/8/6795787-german-shorthaired-pointer-wallpaper.jpg)

quality lol
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: oswald funkletrumpet on January 10, 2016, 06:46:55 PM
Don't know about Steve Austin Darren but he would make a hell of a stand in for Austin Powers.

more like a dummy in austin reed
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Monty on January 10, 2016, 07:35:22 PM
The fact we replaced the guaranteed goals of Benteke with Gestede is just utterly laughable. Whoever made that decision needs to be sacked.

I get the feeling he has been already.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: LeeB on January 10, 2016, 08:04:54 PM
My point was that there are several players not worthy of wearing a villa shirt right now, or being premier league footballers, and I just don't see why he has a whole thread dedicated to how useless he is, when the team is full of poor players. I think it's unfair

Don't worry as I think this will be a regular feature and they'll all get a turn...next up, 101 Uses for Ashley Westwood

I'm going early on this, he could take over from Alan Sugar on the Apprentice.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: thegreatdane on January 11, 2016, 05:12:03 PM
101. Bone Marrow
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Clampy on January 11, 2016, 09:56:15 PM
The best he's played this season was when he came off the bench up at Newcastle. He actually looked a threat that day. Maybe that's the best way to use him.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: LeeB on January 11, 2016, 10:08:55 PM
The best he's played this season was when he came off the bench up at Newcastle. He actually looked a threat that day. Maybe that's the best way to use him.

What, only against equally shit sides?
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: old man villa fan on January 11, 2016, 10:11:47 PM
The best he's played this season was when he came off the bench up at Newcastle. He actually looked a threat that day. Maybe that's the best way to use him.

I think it is.  It is easier to bring on a player like him and change the way of playing that to start with him and go the other way.  As teams tire, more chances usually occur that do not happen in the first 60 minutes of a game.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Witton Warrior on January 12, 2016, 08:06:21 AM
The best he's played this season was when he came off the bench up at Newcastle. He actually looked a threat that day. Maybe that's the best way to use him.

I think it is.  It is easier to bring on a player like him and change the way of playing that to start with him and go the other way.  As teams tire, more chances usually occur that do not happen in the first 60 minutes of a game.

Pity he didn't actually score - again...
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: brian green on January 12, 2016, 08:10:08 AM
Maybe his less bad performances coming on late are because he does not look so slow against tiring players.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: PeterWithe on January 12, 2016, 11:50:36 AM
He actually showed a turn of pace I wouldn't have imagined him capable of to win that penalty against WHU.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: prmort on January 12, 2016, 11:51:52 AM
The tops of my kitchen cupboards could do with a wipe over.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: aj2k77 on January 12, 2016, 12:09:19 PM
He actually showed a turn of pace I wouldn't have imagined him capable of to win that penalty against WHU.

I think it was more that the centre back was one of the slowest humans I've ever seen.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Villa in Denmark on January 12, 2016, 12:25:35 PM
He actually showed a turn of pace I wouldn't have imagined him capable of to win that penalty against WHU.

I think it was more that the centre back was one of the slowest humans I've ever seen.

2 Ents running the high hurdles.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: aj2k77 on January 12, 2016, 12:31:27 PM
He actually showed a turn of pace I wouldn't have imagined him capable of to win that penalty against WHU.

I think it was more that the centre back was one of the slowest humans I've ever seen.

2 Ents running the high hurdles.

Ha indeed. I thought I was experiencing one of those moments in life where everything seems to slow down.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Chris Jameson on January 12, 2016, 01:04:15 PM
The best he's played this season was when he came off the bench up at Newcastle. He actually looked a threat that day. Maybe that's the best way to use him.

What, only against equally shit sides?

Or as a bench?
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: preston28 on January 12, 2016, 01:10:47 PM
The best he's played this season was when he came off the bench up at Newcastle. He actually looked a threat that day. Maybe that's the best way to use him.

Not so sure. He put out a pass for a throw in instead of to an unmarked Traore who would hav been through on goal. If my memory serves me well (a bit of ethanol haze) the throw in led to the second goal?
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: not3bad on January 12, 2016, 01:11:42 PM
The best he's played this season was when he came off the bench up at Newcastle. He actually looked a threat that day. Maybe that's the best way to use him.

What, only against equally shit sides?

I would imagine there will be more of those in the Championship.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Marlon's Hairy Wood on January 12, 2016, 01:52:06 PM
crash test dummie
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Chico Hamilton III on January 12, 2016, 02:11:19 PM
Stick him in the middle of the pitch on non match days to keep the pigeons off the grass
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: not3bad on January 12, 2016, 02:11:28 PM
crash test dummie

Mmm.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Villa in Denmark on January 12, 2016, 02:50:28 PM
crash test dummie

Mmm.

You bastard. Now I've got that running through my head on loop.

I should make you go and find Nick & Jay on YouTube. They're really good, with a fine line in natty lyrics.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: not3bad on January 12, 2016, 03:15:04 PM
crash test dummie

Mmm.

You bastard. Now I've got that running through my head on loop.

I should make you go and find Nick & Jay on YouTube. They're really good, with a fine line in natty lyrics.

Cheers, I'll take a look!
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Villa in Denmark on January 12, 2016, 04:04:01 PM
Don't do it.  That would count as cruel and unusual punishment and get me kicked out of the country.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Clark W Griswold on January 12, 2016, 04:43:16 PM
Yup, spot on, he hides on the pitch, which I suppose is some sort of achievement for a bloke of six feet four.

Six feet four? I never knew they stacked shit that high!

Seriously though, I think he'll do quite well for us in the Championship as long as we bang plenty of crosses in for him, so I want him to stay.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: edgysatsuma89 on January 12, 2016, 04:55:24 PM
Spare parts... for a carpenter. Although I wouldn't even want his legs supporting my table.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Villa in Denmark on January 12, 2016, 09:40:33 PM
Spare parts... for a carpenter. Although I wouldn't even want his legs supporting my table.

You'd be fine, his legs don't go anywhere.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Kingthing on January 12, 2016, 09:58:05 PM


Cleaning Kozaks boots.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: edgysatsuma89 on January 13, 2016, 12:22:37 AM
Spare parts... for a carpenter. Although I wouldn't even want his legs supporting my table.

You'd be fine, his legs don't go anywhere.

Touché VID.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: not3bad on January 17, 2016, 09:59:03 AM
Did really well for the goal yesterday, shrugged off a challenge from a defender who was holding him back.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: LeeB on January 17, 2016, 10:00:49 AM
Did really well for the goal yesterday, shrugged off a challenge from a defender who was holding him back.

Did well all round, he's clearly better coming off the bench
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: supertom on January 17, 2016, 10:02:04 AM
Did really well for the goal yesterday, shrugged off a challenge from a defender who was holding him back.

Did well all round, he's clearly better coming off the bench
I think the hair cut did it. He's more aerodynamic now.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: wittonwarrior on January 17, 2016, 10:20:38 AM
He'd do better fetching us  a couple of million pounds in the coffers.  He had a bit of luck with the goal not that we didn't deserve the luck but he is not Villa  standard.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: Clampy on January 17, 2016, 10:36:05 AM
Did really well for the goal yesterday, shrugged off a challenge from a defender who was holding him back.

Did well all round, he's clearly better coming off the bench

I said that last week some time. He's a handful when he comes on for the last 20 minutes or so. He's not good enough to be starting games.
Title: Re: 101 Uses for Rudy Gestede
Post by: supertom on January 17, 2016, 08:12:06 PM
He'd do better fetching us  a couple of million pounds in the coffers.  He had a bit of luck with the goal not that we didn't deserve the luck but he is not Villa  standard.
If we get a half decent winger, perhaps promote an exciting youngster or two next year who could at the very least match Albrighton, then he would score goals at Championship level. The key is giving him service. We need to create more. There's no point attempting to play that number 10 type of player. They generally don't particularly shine in the Champ, but half reasonable wingers do quite well.
Rudy is a bit pants and very one note but I do like him. He's a trier, he just can't really do much with his feet. That said he's shown he can have a useful impact from the bench at this level.
The level below he'll get us goals I think. Providing we buy a winger or two.
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