Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: brian green on November 04, 2015, 08:57:11 AM

Title: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: brian green on November 04, 2015, 08:57:11 AM
There have been some very impressive and memorable winners of this prestigious trophy over the years.

"I invented the bicycle kick"

"The name of the new Witton Lane stand came as a complete surprise to me"

"Aston Villa shares will be sold at a very affordable price"

"Villa fans are fickle"

"We are going to Moscow to win"

"The comments about losing to Liverpool were intended as a joke"

"We were brilliant"

"I knew nothing about the (alleged) bullying"

But this year we have a cascade of worthy entrants for the Porkie of the Year and I predict it will go right down to the wire.

"We will definitely  not be in a relegation battle next season"

"We will definitely not be in a relegation battle this season"

" I had no say in the choice of players we bought"

"Gabriel Agbonlahor came off at White Hart Lane at half time because he was injured"

May the biggest Pork Pie win.

Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Rudy Can't Fail on November 04, 2015, 09:05:55 AM
"I thought we played some scintillating football".
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: aj2k77 on November 04, 2015, 09:07:15 AM
My personal favourite

"When things aren't going well, fans bay for that type of blood," Fox said.

"That's not the way that I or the owner are going to make a decision. It's a false narrative."


So wrong that from that second onwards I've felt he doesn't have a feel for the game or know fuck all about it. A money man, pure and simple.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Bad English on November 04, 2015, 09:17:57 AM
"I picked the team I thought would do the most damage to Tottenham"
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: frankmosswasmyuncle on November 04, 2015, 09:23:12 AM
"I didn't tell the team to play like that."
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Villa in Denmark on November 04, 2015, 09:43:03 AM
My personal favourite

"When things aren't going well, fans bay for that type of blood," Fox said.

"That's not the way that I or the owner are going to make a decision. It's a false narrative."


So wrong that from that second onwards I've felt he doesn't have a feel for the game or know fuck all about it. A money man, pure and simple.

Or the traditional vote of confidence issued two weeks before the unfortunate/incompetent manager gets the bullet, just using a different turn of phrase to that which we're used to.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Rudy Can't Fail on November 04, 2015, 09:48:21 AM
"It worked to a certain extent with Scotty Sinclair who I thought was outstanding and caused them all sorts of problems."
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Richard E on November 04, 2015, 09:53:32 AM
"Birmingham City Football Club."
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Ron Manager on November 04, 2015, 09:57:40 AM
Gabby's really hurting. It's indigestion Kev.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: levico on November 04, 2015, 10:12:59 AM
I picked a side that I thought would do well against Spurs.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle on November 04, 2015, 10:17:11 AM
I am polishing my spectacles.

Sorry, I'm in the hairdressers.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: edgysatsuma89 on November 04, 2015, 10:27:32 AM
Don't think there are any of the awards this year... as Gabby has eaten them all.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: AVH87 on November 04, 2015, 10:36:14 AM
"We were excellent".
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Nev on November 04, 2015, 10:40:07 AM
We deliberately played shit in the first half so that we'd surprise Small Heath in the second.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: aj2k77 on November 04, 2015, 11:15:50 AM
My personal favourite

"When things aren't going well, fans bay for that type of blood," Fox said.

"That's not the way that I or the owner are going to make a decision. It's a false narrative."


So wrong that from that second onwards I've felt he doesn't have a feel for the game or know fuck all about it. A money man, pure and simple.

Or the traditional vote of confidence issued two weeks before the unfortunate/incompetent manager gets the bullet, just using a different turn of phrase to that which we're used to.

Then it was a very stupid comment to make, criticising the fans, when they've had another run of getting fucked by everyone for months on end.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Walmley_Villa on November 04, 2015, 11:19:43 AM
"Did you hear that booing? I started it"
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: mr underhill on November 04, 2015, 12:58:15 PM
We go again
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: mattjpa on November 04, 2015, 01:02:50 PM
I'd like to nominate the large traditional pork pie sold at the packington pork farm shop at hopwas (half way between Whittington and Tamworth). Its an absoute vessel of pleasure, Im sure it has something to do with the good quality of life those pigs have. Bit of English mustard, served with a bottle of old speckled hen. Go on then....
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: in exile on November 04, 2015, 02:16:21 PM
Anything Sherwood said
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Des Little on November 04, 2015, 02:18:13 PM
Hold on to your seats!
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Stirchley Villain on November 04, 2015, 02:36:11 PM
Randy's still as passionate about AVFC as he was when he took the club over.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: john e on November 04, 2015, 02:46:27 PM
They'll be singing my name again in 4 weeks time
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: CT Villan on November 04, 2015, 02:58:38 PM
"I just need a wee bitty more money Randy and we'll get into the Champion's League"
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Villa in Denmark on November 04, 2015, 03:28:03 PM
My personal favourite

"When things aren't going well, fans bay for that type of blood," Fox said.

"That's not the way that I or the owner are going to make a decision. It's a false narrative."


So wrong that from that second onwards I've felt he doesn't have a feel for the game or know fuck all about it. A money man, pure and simple.

Or the traditional vote of confidence issued two weeks before the unfortunate/incompetent manager gets the bullet, just using a different turn of phrase to that which we're used to.

Then it was a very stupid comment to make, criticising the fans, when they've had another run of getting fucked by everyone for months on end.

Is it criticising the fans?
To me it's a recognition that the fans are emotionally tied into this in a way he and the rest of the board aren't and never will be (nor should they be from the point of view running things rationally.)

Isn't it true that when things turn to shit, it tends to be the manager in the firing line, regardless of club?
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: The Left Side on November 04, 2015, 03:46:19 PM
"I am gutted about the defeat against (insert any team name here) but I cannot wait for Saturday as I know we can turn it around"
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: not3bad on November 04, 2015, 03:48:25 PM
We go again

That's not a lie though is it?  We do go again - maybe in a crap way but we do.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: not3bad on November 04, 2015, 03:49:15 PM
"We will definitely not be in a relegation battle this (or at the time of speaking next) season"

That's the winner for me.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: LeeB on November 04, 2015, 03:49:54 PM
They'll be singing my name again in 4 weeks time

"Sherwood, you're a twat
 Sherwood, Sherwood you're a twat"
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: LeeB on November 04, 2015, 03:50:40 PM
"We will definitely not be in a relegation battle this (or at the time of speaking next) season"

That's the winner for me.

I'm sure Lambert mumbled something similar at some point.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: ktvillan on November 04, 2015, 04:34:07 PM
We'll win against Swansea
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: aj2k77 on November 04, 2015, 05:14:21 PM
My personal favourite

"When things aren't going well, fans bay for that type of blood," Fox said.

"That's not the way that I or the owner are going to make a decision. It's a false narrative."


So wrong that from that second onwards I've felt he doesn't have a feel for the game or know fuck all about it. A money man, pure and simple.

Or the traditional vote of confidence issued two weeks before the unfortunate/incompetent manager gets the bullet, just using a different turn of phrase to that which we're used to.

Then it was a very stupid comment to make, criticising the fans, when they've had another run of getting fucked by everyone for months on end.

Is it criticising the fans?
To me it's a recognition that the fans are emotionally tied into this in a way he and the rest of the board aren't and never will be (nor should they be from the point of view running things rationally.)

Isn't it true that when things turn to shit, it tends to be the manager in the firing line, regardless of club?

Yes it is criticising the fans to me. Like for some unknown reason they are able to see things from a more intelligent perspective, that's what the ''baying for blood'' comment sounds like to me, like we are a mob who want appeasing. It was and is complete bollocks, we watched it week by week and understood the situation a lot more than Fox did or does, he was slow to react until a point where the position was completely untenable.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Villa in Denmark on November 04, 2015, 05:31:54 PM
My personal favourite

"When things aren't going well, fans bay for that type of blood," Fox said.

"That's not the way that I or the owner are going to make a decision. It's a false narrative."


So wrong that from that second onwards I've felt he doesn't have a feel for the game or know fuck all about it. A money man, pure and simple.

Or the traditional vote of confidence issued two weeks before the unfortunate/incompetent manager gets the bullet, just using a different turn of phrase to that which we're used to.

Then it was a very stupid comment to make, criticising the fans, when they've had another run of getting fucked by everyone for months on end.

Is it criticising the fans?
To me it's a recognition that the fans are emotionally tied into this in a way he and the rest of the board aren't and never will be (nor should they be from the point of view running things rationally.)

Isn't it true that when things turn to shit, it tends to be the manager in the firing line, regardless of club?

Yes it is criticising the fans to me. Like for some unknown reason they are able to see things from a more intelligent perspective, that's what the ''baying for blood'' comment sounds like to me, like we are a mob who want appeasing. It was and is complete bollocks, we watched it week by week and understood the situation a lot more than Fox did or does, he was slow to react until a point where the position was completely untenable.

I would have said dispassionate rather than intelligent, which is what I actually want from him (to be dispassionate.)

I completely agree it went on too long, I'd have had Lambert out of the door as soon as they'd got back from the Spurs game. (Wonder if that had anything to do with the sudden parting of the ways between Faulkner and Randy?)

The flip side could be to say that it took something to stand up to his new boss and say that the new contract had been a bad idea and Lambert had got to go.

How would the last 18 months have panned out if we'd had as close to free reign as we're ever likely to get to look for a new manager in summer '14?
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Stu on November 04, 2015, 06:27:57 PM
I would have fired Lambert after the 8-0 at Chelsea. The ******.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: PeterWithesShin on November 04, 2015, 06:39:57 PM
I would have fired Lambert after the 8-0 at Chelsea. The c***.

So you'd have fired him less than halfway through his first season, for our the first defeat in 7 and we were also in a semi-final?
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: aj2k77 on November 04, 2015, 06:46:17 PM
I would have fired Lambert after the 8-0 at Chelsea. The c***.

I think by the end of January, losing to Wigan, Spurs, Chelsea, Bradford, Millwall, Southampton who were relegation strugglers and also Newcastle who I think were also relegation strugglers was enough. He should have gone then.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: manic-road on November 04, 2015, 06:56:35 PM

'I'm not leaving. I'm staying at the football club and I can't wait for the start of the season and captaining this great football club.'


Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Legion on November 04, 2015, 07:00:42 PM

'I'm not leaving. I'm staying at the football club and I can't wait for the start of the season and captaining this great football club.'




The winner.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Caribbeanvillan on November 04, 2015, 07:03:46 PM
I have to install a winning mentality.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Legion on November 04, 2015, 07:06:14 PM
What's a Tim Sherwood team?

A winning one.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Richard E on November 04, 2015, 07:10:00 PM
I would have fired Lambert after the 8-0 at Chelsea. The c***.

So you'd have fired him less than halfway through his first season, for our the first defeat in 7 and we were also in a semi-final?

The previous Saturday we'd played Liverpool off the park at Anfield.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: oswald funkletrumpet on November 04, 2015, 07:20:05 PM
I would have fired Lambert after the 8-0 at Chelsea. The c***.

I think by the end of January, losing to Wigan, Spurs, Chelsea, Bradford, Millwall, Southampton who were relegation strugglers and also Newcastle who I think were also relegation strugglers was enough. He should have gone then.

this, the bradford debarcle on its own should have been enough
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Villa in Denmark on November 04, 2015, 08:39:59 PM

'I'm not leaving. I'm staying at the football club and I can't wait for the start of the season and captaining this great football club.'

The winner.
Unless Doug ever claimed that he was going to respect the achievements of the 80-82 squads and build on them, then I doubt that there's ever been or ever will be a bigger steaming pile of bullshit delivered in association with this football club.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: brian green on November 04, 2015, 09:06:53 PM
My silly topic has unexpectedly revealed a core of truth. We have been lied to systematically over a long period.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Richard E on November 04, 2015, 09:08:49 PM

'I'm not leaving. I'm staying at the football club and I can't wait for the start of the season and captaining this great football club.'

The winner.
Unless Doug ever claimed that he was going to respect the achievements of the 80-82 squads and build on them, then I doubt that there's ever been or ever will be a bigger steaming pile of bullshit delivered in association with this football club.

The fanfare about his new contract in January when the club knew that there was such a low buyout clause was a pretty serious betrayal of the fans' trust on the club's part too in my opinion.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Ian. on November 04, 2015, 09:10:50 PM

'I'm not leaving. I'm staying at the football club and I can't wait for the start of the season and captaining this great football club.'




The winner.
Yes, this one is unbeatable.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: The Left Side on November 04, 2015, 09:11:56 PM
"The fans will be singing my name in 4 weeks"
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Villa in Denmark on November 04, 2015, 09:52:32 PM

'I'm not leaving. I'm staying at the football club and I can't wait for the start of the season and captaining this great football club.'

The winner.
Unless Doug ever claimed that he was going to respect the achievements of the 80-82 squads and build on them, then I doubt that there's ever been or ever will be a bigger steaming pile of bullshit delivered in association with this football club.

The fanfare about his new contract in January when the club knew that there was such a low buyout clause was a pretty serious betrayal of the fans' trust on the club's part too in my opinion.

The only thing I'll say in defence of that one is that at the time we were desperate for anything remotely resembling good news and in the context of everything else at the time, this was. That they milked it as far as they did is where any problem lies.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Dave Cooper please on November 07, 2015, 11:44:35 AM
"Birmingham City Football Club."

That's an oxymoron not a pork pie.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Toronto Villa on November 07, 2015, 12:38:20 PM
The entire pre season "#SayitlikeSherwood" marketing campaign. Like these masterpieces:

(http://www.suttoncoldfieldobserver.co.uk/images/localworld/ugc-images/276288/Article/images/26851025/10449819-large.jpg)

(http://cdn.soccerbible.com/media/15373/aston-villa-kit-launch-15-16-sayitlikesherwood-6.jpg)

(http://www.avfc.co.uk/javaImages/b0/1e/0,,10265~13835952,00.jpg)

(http://cdn.soccerbible.com/media/15374/aston-villa-kit-launch-15-16-sayitlikesherwood-2_2.jpg)
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Villa in Denmark on November 07, 2015, 03:19:52 PM
Soundbites'R'Us



Or as the rest of the same world knows it, marketing bollocks.
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Ian. on November 07, 2015, 11:04:04 PM
This picture does tell a story.


(http://.    http://www.suttoncoldfieldobserver.co.uk/images/localworld/ugc-images/276288/Article/images/26851025/10449819-large.jpg)

Delph removing his captains arm band.

Benteke is saying "beem me up Kloppy"

Sinclair pointing at a c***.

Jack thinking we're in the shit.

Gabby saying "shh, you ain't see me, right"
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: supertom on November 08, 2015, 12:11:31 PM
Almost everything that came out of Sherwoods mouth for the majority of this season.
Almost everything that came out of Lamberts mouth from Jan-Feb. I'm paraphrasing but such Lambert classics as "We had 60% possession. We dominated the game and deserved to win. We didn't deserve to lose 3-0."
Title: Re: Annual Pork Pie Awards
Post by: Louzie0 on November 08, 2015, 12:59:48 PM
The chaps on MOTD2 have just noted Remi's team selection and what Tim had said about the French players, especially Veretout, not being ready for first team action. 'I guess we'll find out.'
We certainly will. Merde to the team today!
SimplePortal 2.3.6 © 2008-2014, SimplePortal