Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Rip Van We Go Again on May 31, 2012, 05:16:38 PM
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sportinginternational.com
Concerns were raised for the health of Wigan supremo Dave Whelan when he stated that he expects his Manager Roberto Martinez to eventually manage a 'Earth's best XI team'
''I'm deadly serious, Roberto has been earmarked for the Aston Villa and Liverpool roles, they're really chicken feed jobs and I think a day will come in the future when we will be challenged by an Intergalactic alien football team, the prize will be the conquest of the Earth and we'll need to put together 11 of the World's finest players, they'll need a top Manager and I think Roberto will fit the bill.''
Whelan claims the realisation of an alien 'winner takes all' game came to him whilst watching 'The Avengers' film at his local cinema.
''It was in that new 3D thing and it got me thinking, I'm certain that there are Alien overlords out there already training strange creatures in the art of the one-two and the curling free kick, I believe they'd have a huge advantage over us as many of them would have eight legs and be comfortable on the ball in all positions. I see the goalkeeper as a large green blob with twelve eyes and that would make it very difficult to find a way past him into the onion bag.''
''We'll need the World's best Manager and I see Roberto as a kind of Nick Fury character, organising skilful, yet complex characters into a victorious outfit. It made me realise how vunerable we may be if Aliens want to take us on at Wembley, who would have the nous to pull the players together?''
Friends and relatives are reportedly growing increasingly worried about Whelan's mental well being and this follows on from last months claims that the escalating cost of Premiership wages could be solved by playing Zombies instead.
''You know, like that Walking Dead programme that's on Channel 5.''
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Marbles have all gone!
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V V Funny. I trust you don't mind If I rip this and send it on?
My Wife know the family on professional basis....
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Nice one Fletch.
I would like to see Martinez re-forming The Beatles for an intergalactic winner-take-all X-Factor. Bobby would be Lennon surely?
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With my john e hat on...
I think Whelan is playing a blinder in this matter. He's the only chairman to have played football so might know a thing or two about football and aliens obviously.
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With my john e hat on...
I think Whelan is playing a blinder in this matter. He's the only chairman to have played football so might know a thing or two about football and aliens obviously.
I've heard he's going to see Prometheus tonight in order to research what to experience from a coordinated alien attack.
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Martinez is probably sat at his home, staring at his mobile phone, wondering why Barcelona or Chelsea aren't phoning him.
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Very good that, George.
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Will he sack Martinez when they get relegated at the end of the season?
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"I gave Roberto permission to speak to Andromeda but although they are a fantastic galaxy teeming with trillions of varied exotic lifeforms, I just don't think they're big enough for him. He will one day evolve into a being of pure energy, able to bend the laws of science at a whim and will go on to manage the Virgo supercluster, perhaps even an observable universal XI. And I will be there poised like a spider to take their compensation money."
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I would piss my pants if Wigan got relegated next year.
Martinez and his mate Mad Dave would be forgotten about and would never be seen in the Premiership again.
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I would piss my pants if Wigan got relegated next year.
Martinez and his mate Mad Dave would be forgotten about and would never be seen in the Premiership again.
What's the betting he'd sack him. Robbie has taken us as far as he can type bollocks? Martinez's stock will never be as high as it is now. Wigan will be expected to stay in the Prem next season and Martinez thought of as doing a normal type job, whereas this season just gone it was a miracle of biblical proportions!!
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Is Jose' quaking at thee thought of Roberto usurping his position, or will it be Lord Ferg who is for the chop, with 'old mate' Dave cheering him on.
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I've actually been thinking about this and the Avengers would make a fine Earth defense football team. The Hulk, obviously, would be your midfield hardman. Upfront you can't get more striking that the Black Widow! Abley supported by the boy Thor, and his hammer.
In goal I suggest putting in a bid for the Fantastic Four's Mr Fantastic, as his stretchey limbs would make him extremely difficult to beat.
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I've actually been thinking about this and the Avengers would make a fine Earth defense football team. The Hulk, obviously, would be your midfield hardman. Upfront you can't get more striking that the Black Widow! Abley supported by the boy Thor, and his hammer.
In goal I suggest putting in a bid for the Fantastic Four's Mr Fantastic, as his stretchey limbs would make him extremely difficult to beat.
And up front the invisible one, no offside there Lino! LOL
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Roberto will only leave for one of the biggest planets in the solar system and only when the space/time continuum is right.
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Whelan is a Space Cadet.
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Madder than Mad Jock McMad, winner of last years "Mr. Madman" competition.
Madder than a bag of bees bouncing around inside a box of frogs.
Madder than a three-fingered clown trying to wrestle a purple crocodile while wearing a "Ban The Bomb" waistcoat and riding a unicycle with a flat tyre.