Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle on April 28, 2012, 11:39:35 AM
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This morning I put my right sock on first - something I havent done since the Enkleman debacle. I've also emptied the dishwasher top shelf first.
Come on Villa.
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I have pledged (https://twitter.com/#%21/BadEnglish_/status/196150520795242496)to buy ONE Aston Villa mug for every point gleaned during the last three games. It is on Twitter so it must be true.
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Drew a little orange dot in my planner on the bit that's for 3pm today.
I'm not a religious man, but I'm going to say a short prayer prior to kick-off.
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I've tried a sartorial change as well, turn ups on my jeans.
It's the little things.
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It might prove to be too late but I'm going to go back to parking where I always used to up until a few years ago.
Immediately after the famous Russian Exchange game (when they sent a team of top students over here and we shipped class 4b off to Moscow) I made the decision to start cutting back on my Villa outlay. So for the Stoke game I abandoned the £10 a time car park and found one for a fiver. Since then I've been cutting back every season and I now park in a dodgy back-end street and let a little ginger-haired lad mind my car for a £1 a game.
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Watch is on the right arm because it's an away game. It has been thus since about 1998. We'll say it has been a 'hit and miss' strategy.
UTV
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I've shook like a shitting dog since I woke up at 5:30. I haven't done that since the last game.
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Put some sealant on the waste pipe in the kitchen.
Come on the lads!
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Spent an hour defrosting the freezer with a kettle and hairdryer. Up the Villa!
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Ignored Jeff and the boys' jolly japes on Sky. Intend to go shopping during the time of the match. Inspired by our Darren... UTV!
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I am going to try to stop moaning and be positive. I think we can win this one if we play to our strengths and just go for the fucking win.
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I've been sobbing uncontrollably in a darkened room,whilst rocking back and forth since tuesday night,i think this may help. UTV
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This morning I put my right sock on first - something I havent done since the Enkleman debacle. I've also emptied the dishwasher top shelf first.
Come on Villa.
Noooooo! You can't empty the top shelf first, it gets water all over the lovely dry plates on the bottom!
Frankly, the sacrifices some people are ready to make for the club move me to tears...
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Leaving it disgustingly late to leave home. Not getting a train until 1.28 pm and that gets us to the Hawthorns far too early for my liking.
Never left so late for a game before so it has to be a good omen.
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Immediately after the famous Russian Exchange game (when they sent a team of top students over here and we shipped class 4b off to Moscow)
I like that. Made me smile. See, we're definitely going to win now. UTV
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I'm not wearing my lucky socks, they may be heading to the knackers yard at the end of the season.
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Put some beetroot seed in - but only half a row 'cos of the weather
Never fails
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Jon's vacuuming his study. Not only is it a first that he is vacuuming, it's also been ages since that room was vacuumed due to the mess in there.
Another positive for today. We have to win so he does more housework.
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for the Stoke game I abandoned the £10 a time car park and found one for a fiver. Since then I've been cutting back every season and I now park in a dodgy back-end street and let a little ginger-haired lad mind my car for a £1 a game.
Are you Randy Lerner?
If so, using your 'car' as a metaphor for 'the team' is absolute genius, you miserable yank.
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Put some sealant on the waste pipe in the kitchen.
Come on the lads!
You have had a blow job à la "Postman always comes twice", haven't you?
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Found my lucky pin. Wore it when we beat the blues 5-1 alon with many other victories. Lost it when I moved house but managed to find it again.
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i've been out for a 50k bike ride, i'm now home showered and fed and i intend to kip through the game. Hopefully I'll dream nice things as every game i've been awake for has been a living nightmare!
Then later I am out for dinner with a load of Albion fans... could be interesting!
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Had my hair cut.
And for the first time in years, said a little prayer. I doubt I have favours in hand with the mythical ruler of all, mainly due to my non believing ways, but while doing a number 2 a little while back I had a word or two.
Here is hoping it has worked.
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I am wearing my lucky flip flops,lucky shorts and my(fat blokes only)Villa shirt.I've trimmed my nose hair and shaved my toes!Don't know if any of this will help us today but hey ho.C'mon the villa!!!
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Nothing much out of the usual, wearing my 82 replica shirt.
edit: Oh and getting the beers in. Come on you Villa boys!
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This morning I put my right sock on first - something I havent done since the Enkleman debacle. I've also emptied the dishwasher top shelf first.
Come on Villa.
Top shelf first you mentalist!?! I should come round and confiscate the thing.
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I had a pre-match burger.
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I have put away my oldest shirt (mid 90's) that I got out to wear to the Bolton game.
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I had a pre-match burger.
You're a mad man!
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I had a pre-match burger.
I'll ring A&E and let them know.
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I've had a lucky large glass of port. A new ritual, but I'm willing to give anything a go. Could take years off my life expectancy if it turns out to be a winning one.
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Am wearing my Asics Villa ankle socks which haven't seen the light of day in years -especially since I haven't worn any Villa colours since that pillock took over...
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Junior's swimming lesson has moved from 0800 to 1000. Might bring us the luck we need.
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Had both of my fingers crossed for the last 10 minutes of the game today.
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Had a beautiful cashmere Villa scarf for Christmas. Literally threw in it the loft upon return from the match on Tuesday. It is never coming down.
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Easy put a bet on them to go down.
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Had a beautiful cashmere Villa scarf for Christmas. Literally threw in it the loft upon return from the match on Tuesday. It is never coming down.
When you say that you literally threw this most agreeable garment in the loft, do you mean that you wrote a short story or novella about this epic scene? Or maybe it is an allegory about drugs or the celestial paradise - albatrosses and suchlike.
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Easy put a bet on them to go down.
Are you sure you're a Villa fan?
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Easy put a bet on them to go down.
Are you sure you're a Villa fan?
I did the same, the logic is I rarely if ever win bets, so it's a kind of a superstition.
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I had a pre-match burger.
I didn't have a pre match burger
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Easy put a bet on them to go down.
Are you sure you're a Villa fan?
I did the same, the logic is I rarely if ever win bets, so it's a kind of a superstition.
Fingers crossed...
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Today I am cooking wedges instead of roast potatoes for Sunday tea. I'm hoping that the subtle variation in tuber preparation will make all the difference for the Spurs game.
Up yours Redknapp!
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A question for you all.
On Sunday should I wear my 1971 LC Final shirt? The reason I ask is if I wear it and it all goes tits up it'll be my fault, on the other hand if I don't wear it and it all goes tits up it'll still be my fault.
I'm just trying to share the blame around a bit.
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Since the Bolton game I have reverted to wearing my other watch and have moved my claret and blue girly bead bracelet from left to right wrist.
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Today I am cooking wedges instead of roast potatoes for Sunday tea. I'm hoping that the subtle variation in tuber preparation will make all the difference for the Spurs game.
Up yours Redknapp!
Doing a curry in the slow cooker, but with NO MEAT.
Simply potato and spinach.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Redknapp!
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A question for you all.
On Sunday should I wear my 1971 LC Final shirt? The reason I ask is if I wear it and it all goes tits up it'll be my fault, on the other hand if I don't wear it and it all goes tits up it'll still be my fault.
I'm just trying to share the blame around a bit.
Do you normally wear that shirt to games?
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I have doubled my daily units of alcohol from five to ten. This allows me to go to the reycle box singing "Ten Villa players trying to get the ball....And if ONE Villa player should accidentally score..."
I think I have stumbled onto something.
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A question for you all.
On Sunday should I wear my 1971 LC Final shirt? The reason I ask is if I wear it and it all goes tits up it'll be my fault, on the other hand if I don't wear it and it all goes tits up it'll still be my fault.
I'm just trying to share the blame around a bit.
Do you normally wear that shirt to games?
No, I usually wear the '82-'83 shirt. But it hasn't done much good.
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A question for you all.
On Sunday should I wear my 1971 LC Final shirt? The reason I ask is if I wear it and it all goes tits up it'll be my fault, on the other hand if I don't wear it and it all goes tits up it'll still be my fault.
I'm just trying to share the blame around a bit.
Do you normally wear that shirt to games?
No, I usually wear the '82-'83 shirt. But it hasn't done much good.
Then I think you should wear the 1971 LC final shirt. Thanks for giving us somebody to blame if all doesn't go well.
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I can hear the chants already..............
The Villa is ours
The Villa is ours
F*ck off TLP
The Villa is ours. :'(
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In answer to the title, I'll renew my season ticket this week. As I did last season, and the season before that, and the season before.......
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Today I am cooking wedges instead of roast potatoes for Sunday tea. I'm hoping that the subtle variation in tuber preparation will make all the difference for the Spurs game.
Up yours Redknapp!
Doing a curry in the slow cooker, but with NO MEAT.
Simply potato and spinach.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Redknapp!
And lo and fucking behold Redknapp is on the back burner with the England job.
C'mon Villa! Our culinary changes in kitchen routine give the twats from White Hart Lane no chance.
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I can hear the chants already..............
The Villa is ours
The Villa is ours
F*ck off TLP
The Villa is ours. :'(
Hehe. I'll be starting them.
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Today I am cooking wedges instead of roast potatoes for Sunday tea. I'm hoping that the subtle variation in tuber preparation will make all the difference for the Spurs game.
Up yours Redknapp!
Doing a curry in the slow cooker, but with NO MEAT.
Simply potato and spinach.
Stick that in your pipe and smoke it Redknapp!
And lo and fucking behold Redknapp is on the back burner with the England job.
C'mon Villa! Our culinary changes in kitchen routine give the twats from White Hart Lane no chance.
Right on Algernon!
I'm going to bake some mushroom Vol au vents tonight to put a spoke in Owen Coyle's wheels.
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This is easily the most sensible thread on here. I never cross my arms or let one hand touch another when Villa are defending a corner or a free kick near their penalty area. Before this season, it was reliable, except when playing Stoke with the whole Villa team hell-bent on conceding the maximum possible number of set-pieces and proving their inability to defend them.
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The dishwasher debacle could come back to haunt us I fear!
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When Bolton equalised last night, I was so enraged that I changed the budgie's water; something I only ever do in the morning.
The rest is history.
As this was something that helped Spurs win last night, I'm not going to repeat it again until after they've played us. The budgie is well aware of this and is conserving water in his little bath as we speak.
Also, in light of last week's draw against the boggies, the dishwasher will be emptied top shelf first on Sunday morning.
I know all of this is above and beyond the call of duty but every man must play his part.
Come on the Villa!
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Apart from spending thousands of pounds and driving thousands of miles, and consuming thousands of calories (probably before and after every match) and wasting thousands of hours of my time, I'm not sure I need to do any more than that, although I probably have...
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I have bitten my fingernails off, and I mean totally off.
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I have rode my bike to work as a result of the extra positive energy the club needs!
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stoppped drinking guinness
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Playing cricket in a winter competition with a dull red wine hangover, keeping wicket too. Dunno what it'll do but I suppose claret is the link.
Every catch taken is a goal, an all too rare stumping equates to a Heskey hattrick, a dropped catch is a goal against.
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stoppped drinking guinness
Giving up drink? Now that's taking things too far.
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nah not really. just guinness. Recently moved house, and it's a 10min walk to local instead of 1 min. so now enjoying my stock of red wine. But it is for the team...
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stoppped drinking guinness
Be careful ddoing that. I've hheard that you ddevelop an awful sstutttter.
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I have taken out a back-page ad in the Meaning Evil on behalf of my new protest group: Ditch Alex's Dour Soccer.
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'Arry, your lads have no chance today. I've just had a Full English Breakfast, consisting of..........
Danish Bacon, Irish Eggs, Spanish Tomatoes, Welsh Sausage and French Mushrooms. Oh and the bread was made with Canadian Wheat.
Don't worry about a thing,
VILLA
'Cause every little thing gonna be alright.
VILLA.
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Got tremendously drunk last night,tried, in vain to eat Chinese takeaway, up this morning to finish takeaway and got the European Cup Dvd playing to calm me down. I hope that helps us today.
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To quote Tony Butler, "Get your prayer mats out, Villa fans".