Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: dave.woodhall on December 20, 2011, 09:48:35 PM
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All your usual favourites, £2 from Legion and a few others.
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And because it's Christmas with unreliable post & tight deadlines, any subscribers who want a copy tonight can see me.
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
Not in the end you didn't. And you got asked Daft Question of the Night.
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
But you did get asked what may well be the best question ever asked to a H&V seller. And I was there to witness it!
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
Not in the end you didn't. And you got asked Daft Question of the Night.
True. The after-match sales were great. It just goes to show the effect of a good performance on purchases.
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
But you did get asked what may well be the best question ever asked to a H&V seller. And I was there to witness it!
Oh yes. Competition time! What was I asked? Small prize for the nearest guess. PWS and DW are ineligible for entry.
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OK, I'll have a go - 'Does it have a report of the match in it?'
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Can I get my sister to register and answer? ;D
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Can I have a go?
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Is that next week's issue?
Are you the BRMB shadow?
Do you accept Euros?
Where's the Holte End?
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Is that next week's issue?
Are you the BRMB shadow?
Do you accept Euros?
Where's the Holte End?
While selling I got asked by an away fan...
"Where's the North End?"
My Reply...
"Preston!"
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Is that next week's issue?
Are you the BRMB shadow?
Do you accept Euros?
Where's the Holte End?
Your fourth answer is very close indeed...
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Is that next week's issue?
Are you the BRMB shadow?
Do you accept Euros?
Where's the Holte End?
Your fourth answer is very close indeed...
I got asked [by a Villa Fan, when we were playing Man U a few years back]....
"It's been a while since I was last down where is the Holte End?"
I replied...
"Same place it was against Bolton"
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Where's the Witton Lane Stand?
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Trinity road I would imagine. When stood in front of it.
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If this is The Holte End where's The Upper Holte End?
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Is that next week's issue?
Are you the BRMB shadow?
Do you accept Euros?
Where's the Holte End?
Your fourth answer is very close indeed...
Where's the Holte start?
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
But you did get asked what may well be the best question ever asked to a H&V seller. And I was there to witness it!
I assume that this happened after I left you two
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Where's the Kop?
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Where's Villa Park? (I fear for humanity if that's correct)
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
But you did get asked what may well be the best question ever asked to a H&V seller. And I was there to witness it!
I assume that this happened after I left you two
It was indeed. Legion deserved a medal for keeping a straight face and giving a very polite and helpful answer. I meanwhile was pissing myself laughing and really struggling not to give a sarcastic reply.
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Almost certainly wrong but,
Is this the Sports Argus?
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Is that next week's issue?
Are you the BRMB shadow?
Do you accept Euros?
Where's the Holte End?
Your fourth answer is very close indeed...
I was asked the first three last night. The last one is an old favourite.
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Where are the A V floodlights?
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
Best spot after the match is on the zebra crossing by the church. Just under the street light you get the flow of people from Witton Lane and Trinity Road.
I used to sell loads on that spot. [I guess it may have been down to my charm and movie star good looks though????]
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Where's Villa Park? (I fear for humanity if that's correct)
That reminds me of the time a few months back when I was on the train from New Street going to Walsall. Walsall were playing Brighton that day and there were a few Brighton fans on the train. Anyway, after a while they all started to wonder if they were on the right train before one of them piped up 'Don't worry, there's the stadium there' pointing right at Villa Park.
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
Best spot after the match is on the zebra crossing by the church. Just under the street light you get the flow of people from Witton Lane and Trinity Road.
I used to sell loads on that spot. [I guess it may have been down to my charm and movie star good looks though????]
That's my regular after-match spot.
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
Best spot after the match is on the zebra crossing by the church. Just under the street light you get the flow of people from Witton Lane and Trinity Road.
I used to sell loads on that spot. [I guess it may have been down to my charm and movie star good looks though????]
That's my regular after-match spot.
If your still not selling many, then I guess it was my charm and good looks!
I always suspected it was!
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Were you asked by a foreign Arsenal fan if this was Villa Park?
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Again, I sold the least. I think I might retire gracefully.
Best spot after the match is on the zebra crossing by the church. Just under the street light you get the flow of people from Witton Lane and Trinity Road.
I used to sell loads on that spot. [I guess it may have been down to my charm and movie star good looks though????]
That's my regular after-match spot.
If your still not selling many, then I guess it was my charm and good looks!
I always suspected it was!
It was before the match where I let the team down. Did really well afterwards.
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Were you asked by a foreign Arsenal fan if this was Villa Park?
It was a Villa fan. Question will be posted later this evening. Percy is still the closest.
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Were they asking where the Holte pub was?
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Second try.
Did they name the Holte Pub after the Holte End?
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Did they ask ..... "is there a game on tonight ?"
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Did someone ask are you The Fear?
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Second try from me too.
Is this the goal end?
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Are the Villa at home tonight?
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Who's playing tonight?
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I've got a feeling this is going to end up as one hell of an anti-climax!
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What's the time?
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Is the Holte End for away fans?
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Where's The Stretfod End?
Where's the ground?
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Is that the Holte Road stand? *Points to the Trinity*
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Is that statue outside the Trinity Mr Ellis?
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"Should I fake my orgasms?"
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"Will we be in our white shirts tonight ?"
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"Is that magazine free?"
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'Is Greg here tonight'?
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Why didn't Barry take the penalty.
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It's so simple sometimes the answer is staring you in the face?
Have you got change for a £50 note!!!!
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"Hello Legion, had much luck lately?"
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Where's the Holte Suite?
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"Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir?"
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"You're a teacher........ you explain the Higgs boson particle to me"
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Any chance of a kiss?
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Now to disappoint you all as most of the previous are far better...
I was asked by a young man in Villa colours in all seriousness: "Where's the Holtey End?"
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Was it Randy Lerner ?
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Did you say "It's opposite the Northy Stand"?
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It was before the match where I let the team down. Did really well afterwards.
where were you before the match? Didn't see you either under the tree or by pearly gates?
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It was before the match where I let the team down. Did really well afterwards.
where were you before the match? Didn't see you either under the tree or by pearly gates?
Opposite Dave next to the away end.
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I guess that's not the best place! Anyway the big chap at the Trinity gates was looking very sheepish when I passed by him. The box was not open may be as it was about 6 and i think he was rolling a joint. (some of best friends are lawyers in case you are thinking about any court action big guy!)
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Was it Randy Lerner ?
You're a bad (but very funny!) man.
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Who is it who stands halfway between the Holte End and the bridge, opposite the road from the church? Kind of near the Holte Pub?
I always seem to buy from him and I always wonder which one he is...
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Before or after?
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I was just handing over £2 to the chap standing outside the gates in Witton Lane when he SHOUTED down my ear " New issue ...." . To say he made me jump is putting it mildly!
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I was just handing over £2 to the chap standing outside the gates in Witton Lane when he SHOUTED down my ear " New issue ...." . To say he made me jump is putting it mildly!
Sorry.
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I was just handing over £2 to the chap standing outside the gates in Witton Lane when he SHOUTED down my ear " New issue ...." . To say he made me jump is putting it mildly!
Sorry.
Didn't realize it was you Legion! I'll say hello next time.
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The one thing I miss about not selling the fanzine is the banter with the fans.
Prior to purchase: "is it the programme?"
After purchase: "this isn't the programme?"
To which my standard reply was always "I never said it was!"
The purchase usually followed me bellowing "Heroes and Villains, thee Villa fanzine!"
And the old favourite (usually after a defeat...) "Them all bloody Villains"
I really do miss the interaction, one of my customers actually bought my son his first Villa kit just after he was born, that was a really nice moment!
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Who is it who stands halfway between the Holte End and the bridge, opposite the road from the church? Kind of near the Holte Pub?
I always seem to buy from him and I always wonder which one he is...
Think that's Percy. I used to buy mine from him but I park somewhere different now so usually buy off the guy by the Holte gates (a Mr Whitehouse?)
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Yeah that's me. The handsome, well-dressed one.
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Did you run up to someone Legion and say you'd look after their car?