Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Legion on October 28, 2010, 12:21:07 AM
-
Whilst standing outside the Villa Village in the North Stand car park, I was asked where the North Stand was.
"Is that the official programme?" just pales into comparison. Yours?
-
This evening, my friend asked me
"What is that thing on Ireland's wrist?
"It's a sweat band"
"Why doesn't he have one on the other wrist, is it only the right one which sweats?"
-
Getting asked where the Holte End is before the Chelsea game. Amazingly, I wasn't asked that prior to Blackburn, Bolton etc. I wonder why.
-
Whilst standing outside the Villa Village in the North Stand car park, I was asked where the North Stand was.
"Is that the official programme?" just pales into comparison. Yours?
Could have been his first visit?
-
Took a female work mate to see Villa v Juventus in the European cup in 1982. Gordon Cowans scored, crowd go wild. She said, "Did Villa score or Juventus?"
-
Took a female work mate to see Villa v Juventus in the European cup in 1982. Gordon Cowans scored, crowd go wild. She said, "Did Villa score or Juventus?"
I bet she pronounced it 'Jooventus' too didn't she?
-
Whilst walking back from a home game quite a few years ago (before I started selling H&V), I was quite randomly asked, "Where are we in the League now?". Who am I? The Oracle?
-
Slightly different note, but the amount of people queueing to get into the door B turnstiles (we never normally have to queue) who were being sent out as they were trying to get in the wrong place and the people in front of us checking their tickets and the door number about a dozen times.
Fair play though, the cheaper ticket prices obviously appear to have attracted a lot of new comers. Hope the football didn't turn them off coming again.
-
Just off the top of my head:
What colours do Villa play in?
Where's the Holte End ticket office?
What time's kick off?
"I'm next to a stand. It's the one that says Aston Villa."
Where's the Tap & Crown?
Where's a cashpoint?
Is that the book Paul Merson wrote?
And the best ever....
...against Chelsea one night...
...standing by the North Stand car park entrance....
...wait for it....
Where's Villa Park?
-
I don't think I could ever sell H&V, i'd find it too much of a struggle not to give sarcastic answers.
-
"How cool are Villa's macots?"
-
I don't think I could ever sell H&V, i'd find it too much of a struggle not to give sarcastic answers.
It's best to just give in to temptation.
-
My twat of a mate said a corker tonight!
"Burnley - look at 'em, they've come for a point!"
-
I don't think I could ever sell H&V, i'd find it too much of a struggle not to give sarcastic answers.
I haven't been doing it long but I find it quite cathartic, I sent one very drunk bloke in the direction of Aston Hall tonight when he asked me where the nearest off license was.
-
I don't think I could ever sell H&V, i'd find it too much of a struggle not to give sarcastic answers.
I haven't been doing it long but I find it quite cathartic, I sent one very drunk bloke in the direction of Aston Hall tonight when he asked me where the nearest off license was.
That did just make me "lol" as the kids say.
-
My old man, who deliberately pronounces players wrong. He called Lee Hendrie 'henry' for years, when we were linked to Yakubu decided to call him 'Ekoku', and has recently decided that Heskey is our saviour, which appears to be one of his better judgements.
-
When discussing footballers books my mate said 'I didn't like Steven Gerrard's book. It's all me me me'.
-
When discussing footballers books my mate said 'I didn't like Steven Gerrard's book. It's all me me me'.
0% Villa related?
Or you know something about GH signing Stevie Me in the January transfer window?
-
Not a question, but there was a woman behind me last night explaining to her friends that "You can tell Reo-Coker's not the proper captain because his armband isn't yellow."
:o
-
I once sent a load of Sunderland fans on their way to Leicester when they asked me if the train they were on at New St was the right one for Villa Park.
Many years ago they were selling tickets for a cup match vs Liverpool straight after a game. I rushed round to join the queue. The woman at the front was asking 'which is the Holte End'?
Another one (the game referred to are just an example)-
Q - Did you go to Leicester mate?
A - Yes.
Q - Did you go to Ipswich mate?
A (now getting very pissed off by the dog breath) - Yes. I go to every match.
Q - Did you go to Cambridge mate?
A - Yes for f***s sake!
Q (closing statement) - Thought so. I saw you there!
-
I was having a lovely countryside walk along the Birmingham - Fazeley canal towpath where you can see the training ground across the fields. A guy taking his narrowboat through the lock asked me if that was Villa Park he could see in the distance.
He was serious Im sure, if it was some sort of piss take I would of course thrown him in the canal.
(http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/16820294.jpg)
My ex wife who wasnt from this country hadnt long been here and was still familiarising herself with the area.
We were driving round the middle ring road towards the balti belt to have a curry. She looked out the window to her left and said "is that Sutton Towns ground"?
-
As the number 11 bus drew close to Villa Park, one Villa fan said to his mate "that's our ground isn't it?".
Yes, Ours is the one with Villa Park on it....
-
Chelsea seem to feature a few times in this thread and I also have a Chelsea thick twat story, at the game v Chelsea this season me and my mate heard the following conversation by the Aston Social:
Man, where are we sitting ?
Woman, the Doug Ellis...what-ever that it is ?
Man, what the fuck ? Doug Ellis ?? what's that then ?
Woman, must be named after a famous man..
Man, yeah...an ex-player or summat.
blooming cocknees !
-
A few years ago I heard the teenage girl sitting in front of me ask her boyfriend just before half-time ''So what's in a meat and potato pie then?''
I thought this was maybe a one-off but also shortly afterwards during the Stripey Filth game I heard one of them say ''I don't mind West Brom as their fans like us and we both hate The Blues'' .... I concluded that no education could save them.
-
I've been asked were the Holte End is and when i am in the ground people ask were's the toilet and i am standing in front of it.
-
Me and my buddy were having a smoke before the game last night - near the corner of Holte & Ellis by the programme booth (outside the ground, obviously) - and this woman was on her phone. She'd clearly lost the rest of her party. This is what I heard...:
"Where are you?
Yeah, I'm by the shop...
Yeah, the shop, on the main road ...
Yeah, the shop on the main road with all the people outside!"
I guess it's not really a question ... but it made me chuckle non-the-less.
-
My worst one was sitting in the Holte i think it was the opening game of the season in about 2003 against Liverpool without my glasses on and I called El hadji diouf heskey all game. Along the lines of "get up you diving bastard heskey"
best ive heard was walking out of the Holte in the late 80's when a bloke asked "did we win today?"
-
My old man, who deliberately pronounces players wrong. He called Lee Hendrie 'henry' for years, when we were linked to Yakubu decided to call him 'Ekoku', and has recently decided that Heskey is our saviour, which appears to be one of his better judgements.
One of our dear departed brethren always used to refer to The Bosnich Ruling when talking about transfers.
-
I was once asked on the platform at Aston Station.
'Is this my train?'
-
I am a black sheep in the family, my dads side are all manure fans, and from an early age I saw the light, became a Villan, and my brother followed suit. My first ever trip to VP was a birthday present, when Dad took the whole family. As we were driving in I remember Mum saying "Do you know where we need to be" and Dad replied "Im just following the guy infront, it seems he knows where he is going..." We only just made kick off, and a few years later I resumed talking to him. The other thing that used to make me laugh was my Stepdad is a ST holder at anfield, but can struggle with johnnyforeigner names and always used to refer to Morientes as Murraymintoes.