Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Salsa Party Animal on September 13, 2010, 11:04:11 PM

Title: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Salsa Party Animal on September 13, 2010, 11:04:11 PM
1. Find a new team captain to replace Petrov

2. Get Richard Dunne on fitness program to get him in shape.

3. Find out if we got a decent striker in the rank we can use apart from Heskey and Carew.

4. Sell (or give away) Heskey, Carew, Petrov, Beye, Davies and Sidwell.

5. Hire some scouts

6. Find a new Didger Drogba/Ruud Van Nistelrooy to lead our attack, and Michael Owen or new young hot property as back up cover for Agbonlahor and new striker.

7. Hire a former striker to coach our attack.

8. Find a new Powerful Left Back similar to Stuart Pearce or Andrea Brehmes or Roberto Carlos

9. Find a heavyweight midfield general with leadership and drive (no idea who (but a central midfielder version of Martin Laursen would do nicely with good knees :)

10. Bring in 3 or 4 promising young French players to give us option.

11. Set up exclusive alliance between Villa and French Football Academy (Former Employer)

12. Hire some good coach and assistant.

13. Make us play football like Arsenal or Barcelona or Spain :)

14. Get our defenders to defend for 100 minutes properly together.

15. Find a new Martin Laursen.
 

Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: KevinGage on September 13, 2010, 11:08:40 PM
I agree.

I can't believe we haven't found a new Stuart Pearce, Brehme, Drogba or Van Horseyboy yet.

What an oversight.

Also, if we don't play like Barcelona or Spain on Saturday, I'm going to buy a season ticket just to send it back and hound the General on his thread.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: DaveD on September 13, 2010, 11:10:31 PM
I'd just setlle for 1. But I think you lot might have spotted that already somehow...
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: adrenachrome on September 13, 2010, 11:11:51 PM
Go to the match.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Irish villain on September 13, 2010, 11:13:19 PM
I'd settle for 1 and 2.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: TopDeck113 on September 13, 2010, 11:15:10 PM
1.  Reply to FFF's invitation to their Halloween Party, saying I'll be going as an apparition.

2. Inform McDonald he's in charge for that day.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: JJ-AV on September 13, 2010, 11:15:54 PM
We need to: Get Dunne fit. Get Warnock in some sort of form. Replace Stan. Ship the crap out. Let Friedel and Carew go on frees and replace with better players on smaller wages.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: TheSandman on September 13, 2010, 11:18:50 PM
1. Walk out on the French FA.

2. Arrive at Bodymoor Heath.

3. Pull in Dunne, Warnock, Petrov, Ashley Young and Carew. Shout loudly at them for half an hour. Mostly along the lines of 'Get your F****** act together or I'll sell you to Middlesborough.

4. Call up some good scouts and send them out to look for players.

5. Watch training.

6. See whose performing and not. Make conclusions based on that along with my coaches.

7. Decide who has a long term future at the club.

 
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: PeterWithe on September 13, 2010, 11:19:50 PM
Just get to Bham and start earning your £3m a fucking year.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Irish villain on September 13, 2010, 11:23:20 PM
Disappointing really that he taking so long to take charge.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: The Man With A Stick on September 13, 2010, 11:24:41 PM
11. Set up exclusive alliance between Villa and French Football Academy (Former Employer)

What's in it for them?

First thing I'd do is find out who our scouts are and - if they're still alive - I'd send them far and wide (imagine that scene in Empire Strikes Back when Darth Vader sends the bounty hunters looking for Han and Leia) on a search for an absolute bastard for our midfield, someone in the mould of Keane or Vieira.  How many games did you see their teams throw away in the last ten minutes?  It doesn't even have to be a Roy Keane, a Kevin Richardson would do.  Someone with some fucking presence.

We're far too bloody nice.  We need someone on the pitch that the rest of the team respect and maybe even fear a little bit.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: DaveD on September 13, 2010, 11:26:48 PM
1...Win the Premiership, FA Cup and Champions League

2..Repeat 1 until bored shitless.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Villa'Zawg on September 13, 2010, 11:32:06 PM
1) Play Cuellar at right back and L Young at left back

2) Play James Milner instead of NRC

3) Play our new defensive midfield general instead of Petrov

4) Play Ashley Young on one wing and Downing on the other

5) Play our new fast and powerful striker alongside Gabby.

Sorted.



Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: TimTheVillain on September 13, 2010, 11:41:11 PM
1. Find a new team captain to replace Petrov

2. Get Richard Dunne on fitness program to get him in shape.

3. Find out if we got a decent striker in the rank we can use apart from Heskey and Carew.

4. Sell (or give away) Heskey, Carew, Petrov, Beye, Davies and Sidwell.

5. Hire some scouts

6. Find a new Didger Drogba/Ruud Van Nistelrooy to lead our attack, and Michael Owen or new young hot property as back up cover for Agbonlahor and new striker.

7. Hire a former striker to coach our attack.

8. Find a new Powerful Left Back similar to Stuart Pearce or Andrea Brehmes or Roberto Carlos

9. Find a heavyweight midfield general with leadership and drive (no idea who (but a central midfielder version of Martin Laursen would do nicely with good knees :)

10. Bring in 3 or 4 promising young French players to give us option.

11. Set up exclusive alliance between Villa and French Football Academy (Former Employer)

12. Hire some good coach and assistant.

13. Make us play football like Arsenal or Barcelona or Spain :)

14. Get our defenders to defend for 100 minutes properly together.

15. Find a new Martin Laursen.
 



All of the above except Petrov, I'd keep him he does a lot of good work and needs support my Lord.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Ads on September 14, 2010, 12:03:23 AM
Strap Dunne to a running machine until he loses his weight and learns to concentrate. v
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Brend'Watkins on September 14, 2010, 12:13:59 AM
Give each and every one of them a big kick in the bollocks and tell them if they fuck up again like that there will be much more of the same.

Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: H00513R on September 14, 2010, 01:20:27 AM
Petrov hasn't been the best so far, but I like his fire/tenacity. He's becoming a little bit of a goon.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: eamonn on September 14, 2010, 02:59:19 AM


2) Play James Milner instead of NRC



Constructive.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: hawkeye on September 14, 2010, 05:00:57 AM
Based on the fact that we are unlikely to get any new players until the summer.
Get a system that makes us hard to beat, let players know that shit performances = the bench, find out who really wants to play and play them, get rid of the deadwood asap,
It looks like we have a mid table squad
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Rancid custard on September 14, 2010, 06:38:29 AM
3. Pull in Dunne, Warnock, Petrov, Ashley Young and Carew. Shout loudly at them for half an hour. Mostly along the lines of 'Get your F****** act together or I'll sell you to Middlesborough.



 

Just had some full metal jacket vision there!
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Nirog72 on September 14, 2010, 07:54:52 AM
Find one player in the whole squad who is comfortable on the ball and can retain possession.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: *shellac* on September 14, 2010, 07:59:16 AM
Ask every player politely to play well in the next game.

A good result, a gentle pat on the back.  That's all.

A bad result, strap them all up and make them listen to a Bucks Fizz compilation CD until the next game.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Nirog72 on September 14, 2010, 08:03:34 AM
Learn to use substitutions as a response to what's happening in the game.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Matt C on September 14, 2010, 08:37:19 AM
Teach the players how to keep possession of the ball.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: jembob on September 14, 2010, 08:42:37 AM
1. Tell our goal keeper to stop hoofing the ball up the pitch and conceding possession.

2. Explain to some of our players that no matter how hard they try, a section of fans will always use them as scapegoats.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Can Gana Be Bettered!?!? on September 14, 2010, 09:13:21 AM
A lot of your requests are akin to 1: Sign Rooney, 2: Sign Ronaldo...

We should sign 3 or 4 French players? Does it matter if they're shit or not or would you just like to sign them?

Being serious, I'd tell the players they are perfectly capable of passing a football and look quite good when they do, as they have shown. Then I'd tell them to do it for longer spells in the game. Easy.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: supertom on September 14, 2010, 09:45:12 AM
Firstly. Gabby isn't a target man. Don't hoof it up to him, especially against a team of behemoths like Stoke.

Right now I'd make Nigel captain. I thought he did quite well yesterday. He's looked good when he's played this season, and we look better for it. Give the captaincy to someone vocal, with some tenacity and energy. Someone to lead by example. I like Stan, but his legs have gone. He should have been off on 70, but of course the problem is, who was there to replace him? Ireland? Nope. He should be further up field.

One of Downing or Young needs to be dropped. Downing had half an hour last night of looking a decent player, so I'd be tempted to drop Ash in the next game just to give him a kick up the arse. Play Ireland in the whole.

Unfortunately we can't do a lot about shipping out our crap right now. We have to make do, likely until the summer. Let a few contracts run out, take some serious financial hits. Houlliers drastic 10 in 10 out at Liverpool is a bit far, but something close to that is probably needed.

I still rate Big Brad, unless we can get Given. He's probably still overcoming the shame of having to wear that horrific kit. But I give him a grace period because he won us the points against Everton.

For me I would play Sidwell and Coker together in CM. Then play Ireland ahead of them as attacking mid. We need to protect our back four better, and that needs two players with the bite and energy to do that. Stan gets overrun too easily. I think we can use him at home, but away from home we needed some added energy and legs. Sidwell's pretty pants, but he's full of energy, and never stops running. Just let him and Cokes look after the back four, then Ireland, Young, Albrighton/Downing can provide the flair.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Phil from the upper holte on September 14, 2010, 10:37:36 AM
Firstly. Gabby isn't a target man. Don't hoof it up to him, especially against a team of behemoths like Stoke.

Right now I'd make Nigel captain. I thought he did quite well yesterday. He's looked good when he's played this season, and we look better for it. Give the captaincy to someone vocal, with some tenacity and energy. Someone to lead by example. I like Stan, but his legs have gone. He should have been off on 70, but of course the problem is, who was there to replace him? Ireland? Nope. He should be further up field.

One of Downing or Young needs to be dropped. Downing had half an hour last night of looking a decent player, so I'd be tempted to drop Ash in the next game just to give him a kick up the arse. Play Ireland in the whole.

Unfortunately we can't do a lot about shipping out our crap right now. We have to make do, likely until the summer. Let a few contracts run out, take some serious financial hits. Houlliers drastic 10 in 10 out at Liverpool is a bit far, but something close to that is probably needed.

I still rate Big Brad, unless we can get Given. He's probably still overcoming the shame of having to wear that horrific kit. But I give him a grace period because he won us the points against Everton.

For me I would play Sidwell and Coker together in CM. Then play Ireland ahead of them as attacking mid. We need to protect our back four better, and that needs two players with the bite and energy to do that. Stan gets overrun too easily. I think we can use him at home, but away from home we needed some added energy and legs. Sidwell's pretty pants, but he's full of energy, and never stops running. Just let him and Cokes look after the back four, then Ireland, Young, Albrighton/Downing can provide the flair.

Some sense Tom, have you applied for the coach's job?

Edit, I would actually drop Albrighton he does have a lot of promise however he needs to learn no to try and take everyone on or shoot at every availiable opportunity. Id have Ireland in the Young Role and have young on the right, I would also get Cuellar back in. Dunne looks like he's been on a sea food diet. Get a god damn left back in and a decent central midfielder, we miss Milner :(
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: supertom on September 14, 2010, 10:39:05 AM
Firstly. Gabby isn't a target man. Don't hoof it up to him, especially against a team of behemoths like Stoke.

Right now I'd make Nigel captain. I thought he did quite well yesterday. He's looked good when he's played this season, and we look better for it. Give the captaincy to someone vocal, with some tenacity and energy. Someone to lead by example. I like Stan, but his legs have gone. He should have been off on 70, but of course the problem is, who was there to replace him? Ireland? Nope. He should be further up field.

One of Downing or Young needs to be dropped. Downing had half an hour last night of looking a decent player, so I'd be tempted to drop Ash in the next game just to give him a kick up the arse. Play Ireland in the whole.

Unfortunately we can't do a lot about shipping out our crap right now. We have to make do, likely until the summer. Let a few contracts run out, take some serious financial hits. Houlliers drastic 10 in 10 out at Liverpool is a bit far, but something close to that is probably needed.

I still rate Big Brad, unless we can get Given. He's probably still overcoming the shame of having to wear that horrific kit. But I give him a grace period because he won us the points against Everton.

For me I would play Sidwell and Coker together in CM. Then play Ireland ahead of them as attacking mid. We need to protect our back four better, and that needs two players with the bite and energy to do that. Stan gets overrun too easily. I think we can use him at home, but away from home we needed some added energy and legs. Sidwell's pretty pants, but he's full of energy, and never stops running. Just let him and Cokes look after the back four, then Ireland, Young, Albrighton/Downing can provide the flair.

Some sense Tom, have you applied for the coach's job?

Not yet, but will do.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Risso on September 14, 2010, 10:41:17 AM
There was indeed some sense in there, but making NRC captain?  Not a chance.  He really isn't a very good footballer at all.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: DaveD on September 14, 2010, 10:43:59 AM
For me I would play Sidwell and Coker together in CM. Then play Ireland ahead of them as attacking mid. We need to protect our back four better, and that needs two players with the bite and energy to do that. Stan gets overrun too easily. I think we can use him at home, but away from home we needed some added energy and legs. Sidwell's pretty pants, but he's full of energy, and never stops running. Just let him and Cokes look after the back four, then Ireland, Young, Albrighton/Downing can provide the flair.
Yes, yes and thrice yes.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Phil from the upper holte on September 14, 2010, 10:44:19 AM
There was indeed some sense in there, but making NRC captain?  Not a chance.  He really isn't a very good footballer at all.

He's vocal and I think he's much improved under Mac
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: DaveD on September 14, 2010, 10:45:36 AM
There was indeed some sense in there, but making NRC captain?  Not a chance.  He really isn't a very good footballer at all.

He's vocal and I think he's much improved under Mac

I think the splinters in his arse are no longer infected.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Phil from the upper holte on September 14, 2010, 10:46:23 AM
There was indeed some sense in there, but making NRC captain?  Not a chance.  He really isn't a very good footballer at all.

He's vocal and I think he's much improved under Mac

I think the splinters in his arse are no longer infected.

He is the toughest midfielder we have
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: remy on September 14, 2010, 10:52:34 AM
1) I would tell Randy that the fans deserve better than the shite off and on the pitch they have been served up and as a gesture of goodwill should put the new crappy home kit on sale for £20 adults and £10 kids.

2) Introduce to Beye, Davies, Sidwell and Heskey what the white sphere shaped object is being kicked around the field.

3) Select a new Club Captain - should be Dunne but needs to shed that timber thats appeared suddenly.

4) Give all the players a chance to play and take squad assessment from there.

5) Place permanent scouts on every continent.

6) Play at least one youth player (Clark, Baker, Lowry, Lichaj, Hogg, Wieman, Fonz) for the last 15mins of every game.

7) Rotate the god damn squad.

8) Introduce the revolutionary process of dropping a player thats playing poorly for the 2nd successive game.

9) Introduce the even more revolutionary process of rotating players when needed.

10) Bring some continental flair players into the club unlike Routledge, Harewood, Heskey, Shorey, Salifou.

11) Drop EVERY cup game in the early rounds to £10 adults and £5 kids. 
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Lambert and Payne on September 14, 2010, 10:59:20 AM
Drop Stan and Ashley - put in Ireland and Sidwell
Make Dunne do a forest gump and just go running
Let our strikers and midfielders know that there career isnt going to end if they have one long shot
Stop hoofing the ball in the air, play some football!!
Drop the fucking french and get to our football club!
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: PatrickVilla on September 14, 2010, 11:04:41 AM
free crossants fro early games
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: mozza on September 14, 2010, 11:08:50 AM
1. Find a new team captain to replace Petrov

2. Get Richard Dunne on fitness program to get him in shape.

3. Find out if we got a decent striker in the rank we can use apart from Heskey and Carew.

4. Sell (or give away) Heskey, Carew, Petrov, Beye, Davies and Sidwell.

5. Hire some scouts

6. Find a new Didger Drogba/Ruud Van Nistelrooy to lead our attack, and Michael Owen or new young hot property as back up cover for Agbonlahor and new striker.

7. Hire a former striker to coach our attack.

8. Find a new Powerful Left Back similar to Stuart Pearce or Andrea Brehmes or Roberto Carlos

9. Find a heavyweight midfield general with leadership and drive (no idea who (but a central midfielder version of Martin Laursen would do nicely with good knees :)

10. Bring in 3 or 4 promising young French players to give us option.

11. Set up exclusive alliance between Villa and French Football Academy (Former Employer)

12. Hire some good coach and assistant.

13. Make us play football like Arsenal or Barcelona or Spain :)

14. Get our defenders to defend for 100 minutes properly together.

15. Find a new Martin Laursen.
 



That's your first day in charge - what about the second ?
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: sfx412 on September 14, 2010, 12:51:03 PM

1. See if the Pope will offer a Benediction to calm fans nerves, before the Bolton game
2. Plan how in the next 30 odd league games to win enough to finish in the top 10
3. To ensure his magic wand is fully charged.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: PaulMcGrathsNo5Shirt on September 14, 2010, 12:52:10 PM
Turn up
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Fuse on September 14, 2010, 02:38:20 PM
Keep Ashley Young, Gabby, Albrighton, Delph, Ireland, Collins and Cuellar. Give Dunne a month to get in shape or f' him off.

Sell the rest and reaplce them over the enxt 18 months with particualr focus on getting a striker to play with Gabby and findign a midfield blend that means we don;t get walked all over every game and that has the guile to provide the ammunition to score goals.

We are back to square one in my opinion in that the whole squad needs an over haul and MON's team needs breaking up.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Lowendbehold on September 14, 2010, 03:14:46 PM
1. Find a new team captain to replace Petrov

2. Get Richard Dunne on fitness program to get him in shape.

3. Find out if we got a decent striker in the rank we can use apart from Heskey and Carew.

4. Sell (or give away) Heskey, Carew, Petrov, Beye, Davies and Sidwell.

5. Hire some scouts

6. Find a new Didger Drogba/Ruud Van Nistelrooy to lead our attack, and Michael Owen or new young hot property as back up cover for Agbonlahor and new striker.

7. Hire a former striker to coach our attack.

8. Find a new Powerful Left Back similar to Stuart Pearce or Andrea Brehmes or Roberto Carlos

9. Find a heavyweight midfield general with leadership and drive (no idea who (but a central midfielder version of Martin Laursen would do nicely with good knees :)

10. Bring in 3 or 4 promising young French players to give us option.

11. Set up exclusive alliance between Villa and French Football Academy (Former Employer)

12. Hire some good coach and assistant.

13. Make us play football like Arsenal or Barcelona or Spain :)

14. Get our defenders to defend for 100 minutes properly together.

15. Find a new Martin Laursen.
 



That's your first day in charge - what about the second ?
He is bloody 63 you know!
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: peter w on September 14, 2010, 03:30:11 PM
I think I'd resign.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: sfx412 on September 14, 2010, 04:16:12 PM
I think I'd resign.

What not wait until 5 days before next season starts
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Bosco81 on September 14, 2010, 04:36:49 PM
Turn up

You'll be asking for the moon on a stick next.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Salsa Party Animal on September 14, 2010, 04:43:30 PM
and find missing Viking fighting spirit without Olof Mellberg, Kent Nelson and Martin Laursen which we last saw when we beat Everton in Goodison Park 3-2.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Legion on September 14, 2010, 07:03:42 PM
and find missing Viking fighting spirit without Olof Mellberg, Kent Nelson and Martin Laursen which we last saw when we beat Everton in Goodison Park 3-2.

This match?

Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: JUAN PABLO on September 14, 2010, 07:13:52 PM
and find missing Viking fighting spirit without Olof Mellberg, Kent Nelson and Martin Laursen which we last saw when we beat Everton in Goodison Park 3-2.

This match?




speechless   absolutely speechless...

Thats how I want to feel again.. 
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Legion on September 14, 2010, 07:14:28 PM
I was bloody speechless last night.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: TheSandman on September 14, 2010, 07:15:14 PM
A lot of people seem to be keen to return Sidwell to the team.

Sidwell, REALLY? Mr Invisible.

I was one of the fast diminishing number of people who thought there was a player in there somewhere but it would not be a theory I'd hurry to try out as manager.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Legion on September 14, 2010, 07:23:28 PM
No thanks. His non-identical twin is doing just fine.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Rigadon on September 14, 2010, 07:29:42 PM
I think the first thing I'd do is to find out who wants to stay at the club long term and I'd be looking into Mr Young's direction first and foremost.  If he wants away he should be sold to the highest bidding foreign club at Christmas (the thought of him cuddling up to Arry makes me puke).  I'd also be asking for guarantees that we won't have another season de-stabalised (even without MON dashing off this would've made this season tricky) by selling our best player to Manchester City or another rival premier league team and then make it clear to the Daily Mirror that certain players will not be sold regardless of price.

I'd then go about securing the services of a goal scorer.  We'll never get any further than 6th (par) without one in today's premier league. 


Easy this management lark innit.



Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: villajk on September 14, 2010, 07:51:55 PM
I was bloody speechless last night.

Me too.

Thanks for keep posting that link Legion, it does fill me with hope.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: villajk on September 14, 2010, 07:53:35 PM
A lot of people seem to be keen to return Sidwell to the team.

Sidwell, REALLY? Mr Invisible.

I was one of the fast diminishing number of people who thought there was a player in there somewhere but it would not be a theory I'd hurry to try out as manager.

I sincerely hope Mr. Houllier keeps him well away from the first team. 

Like Sandman, I've tried to believe there's a half decent player there but it hasn't appeared.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: jibba81 on September 14, 2010, 08:03:16 PM
Get rid of Reo Coker. Play an actual footballer in his place.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: TonyD on September 14, 2010, 08:07:03 PM
It would be a difficult first day as I really would like a big jumble sale and get rid of about half the squad.  But because the transfer window is closed that cannot happen.  So I would be stuck with a good deal of deadwood and no options to buy.  My main priorities would be:
Get the key players fit or fitter: Gabby, Dunne, Ireland and Delph

Don’t play AY, Albrighton and Downing at the same time, any combo of the two only on the pitch at any one time, the other gets a rest.

Bring through the Fonz much more, alternate him with Gabby. in the middle up front, not on the wings!!  Why Heskey is used ahead of him is a total disgrace.  KM’s use of Heskey means he was not right for the job.  He should never step on the pitch again. If GH comes in and continues to play him, then he can fuck off sharpish back to the FFF.

Get the central midfielders to go through a series of tough man challenges like British Bulldog and Cage fighting, to find which ones have any balls.  The rest can get on with some hopscotch or softball.

Get the lazy bastards do more running off the ball by imposing a £100 a second fine when they stand still when the ball is in play.  Keeper included – keep him focused.

Not rocket science.

Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: lovejoy on September 14, 2010, 08:51:56 PM
last time we scored late to win a game?
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: villajk on September 14, 2010, 09:02:35 PM
^^^^^^

Where's Legion?
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: KevinGage on September 14, 2010, 09:04:19 PM
A lot of people seem to be keen to return Sidwell to the team.

Sidwell, REALLY? Mr Invisible.

I was one of the fast diminishing number of people who thought there was a player in there somewhere but it would not be a theory I'd hurry to try out as manager.

I'm not hugely keen on him, not even sure if there is a player in there.

But as someone pointed out yesterday (can't remember who) he often makes runs that aren't picked up by his teammates as we have a tendency to shift the ball out wide at any available opportunity.

Maybe a manager with a degree of organisation can utilise him better, but he's in (cliché alert)  Last Chance Saloon either way. At least as far as his Villa career is concerned.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Can Gana Be Bettered!?!? on September 14, 2010, 09:05:43 PM
A lot of people seem to be keen to return Sidwell to the team.

Sidwell, REALLY? Mr Invisible.

I was one of the fast diminishing number of people who thought there was a player in there somewhere but it would not be a theory I'd hurry to try out as manager.

I wondered this. He's never done anything, apart from be a good ball-boy.

As much as I don't rate Petrov, I'd still take him over Sidwell.

Do we know how much he earns a week to do nothing?
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Can Gana Be Bettered!?!? on September 14, 2010, 09:07:10 PM
A lot of people seem to be keen to return Sidwell to the team.

Sidwell, REALLY? Mr Invisible.

I was one of the fast diminishing number of people who thought there was a player in there somewhere but it would not be a theory I'd hurry to try out as manager.

I'm not hugely keen on him, not even sure if there is a player in there.

But as someone pointed out yesterday (can't remember who) he often makes runs that aren't picked up by his teammates as we have a tendency to shift the ball out wide at any available opportunity.

Maybe a manager with a degree of organisation can utilise him better, but he's in (cliché alert)  Last Chance Saloon either way. At least as far as his Villa career is concerned.

I have noticed this and wondered whether they just ignore him on purpose. A bit like the crap player in the school team or kick-around. There's always one player you never pass it to because you know they'll mess it up.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Legion on September 14, 2010, 09:11:38 PM
^^^^^^

Where's Legion?

Here:

Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: KevinGage on September 14, 2010, 09:13:13 PM
Good lad.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: villajk on September 14, 2010, 10:07:35 PM
Well done Legion.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: west sussex villan on September 14, 2010, 11:19:16 PM
Try to earn back the fans and money that this whole fiasco has lost. There is a lot to do!
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: dave.woodhall on September 14, 2010, 11:52:46 PM
Try to earn back the fans and money that this whole fiasco has lost. There is a lot to do!

How about giving it a rest, just for tonight?
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: taylorsworkrate on September 15, 2010, 03:35:49 AM
Drop Stan and Ashley - put in Ireland and Sidwell
Make Dunne do a forest gump and just go running
Let our strikers and midfielders know that there career isnt going to end if they have one long shot
Stop hoofing the ball in the air, play some football!!
Drop the fucking french and get to our football club!



Drop Ashley? 

I like it.  Dropping our best player will really confuse the opposition.  A bit outside the box but it just might work.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: west sussex villan on September 15, 2010, 10:27:21 AM
Try to earn back the fans and money that this whole fiasco has lost. There is a lot to do!

How about giving it a rest, just for tonight?

Sorry boss, im so frustrated at the moment. I don't mind having a moan up me.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: TimTheVillain on September 15, 2010, 10:32:37 AM
Get them to play until the Ref blows his whistle.

Target an expensive goalscorer for January.

Look out for a new Goalkeeper for next season.

Ship Heskey out ( self explanatory)
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: west sussex villan on September 15, 2010, 10:40:31 AM
For me Ashley Young is one of the best wingers in the country but he needs to play on the wing not in the centre.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: PaulTheVillan on September 15, 2010, 10:49:09 AM
1. Find a new captain.
2. Replace Davies, Heskey, Sidwell and Beye.
3. Get Gabby and Dunne to shed a couple of pounds.
4. Get the players to be that extra few % fitter.
5. Spend more time working on who we are playing next.
6. Teach the players how to pass the ball forward instead of just sideways, trying to find a winger who is free.
7. Teach Gabby how to run across defenders into space, not just slow down and hover round the back post.
8. Work on players awareness and sharpness, we never seem to be first to a second ball.
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: Bad English on September 15, 2010, 08:29:44 PM
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: dicedlam on September 15, 2010, 09:57:33 PM
  • Arrive at Bodymoor at 7.15am.
  • Chat up foxy cleaner at coffee machine
  • Check the in-tray, sneer at latest memos
  • Nip out for coffee
  • Meeting to identify the four main problems facing Villa First XI
  • Adjourn meeting, call new meeting for following week to discuss the fourteen main problems facing Villa discovered during previous meeting
  • Coffee break. Get sucked off by foxy secretary in photocopy room
  • Quick nine holes at the Belfry
  • 11.30am. Lunch
  • 2.30pm Siesta in office
  • 4.15pm Doggy the new YTS bird while dictating list of tasks that you cannot do as it doesn't come under your job description
  • Update Facebook page and feed snails in Farmville
  • 4.45pm: Apéritif with olives and those moreish chickpeas with olive oil and cumin
  • Administer cunnilingus to passing Villa WAG
  • Shred Saturday team sheet as main French union CGT has called everyone out over government plans to inject €60bn per month into the ailing manufacturing sector.
  • Saturday 1pm. Phone in sick with 5-day doctor's note

Sounds more like 'A day in the life of Sven'
Title: Re: To do list if you were appointed as new manager
Post by: TimTheVillain on September 16, 2010, 01:29:22 PM
Get the Doug Out made larger and some Rocaro seats installed like all top clubs do.

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