Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: dave.woodhall on October 26, 2020, 03:18:22 PM

Title: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dave.woodhall on October 26, 2020, 03:18:22 PM
It was going to be the richest, but we didn't want Risso.

It was going to be the leftest, but we didn't want cdetc.

It was going to be the scariest, but Louzie0 turned it down.

So we thought stuff it, give it to Jon Crofts. Blame him for everything from now on.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Clampy on October 26, 2020, 03:26:17 PM
You should have give it to the cuddliest.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: ChicagoLion on October 26, 2020, 04:10:37 PM
Obviously the funniest wasnt a preference.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: cdbearsfan on October 26, 2020, 04:29:10 PM
Congratulations, Jon. If this means you'll have less spare time to spend on the joke thread, that'll be a bonus for us all.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: eamonn on October 26, 2020, 04:53:57 PM
Wow, surprised H&V can afford him. His day rate is reportedly up there with Henri Lansbury's.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dicedlam on October 26, 2020, 04:54:31 PM
Splendid new!

Hopefully, he will start by banning the bloke in off topic in the 'Jokes' thread. His name escapes me right now...

Congratulations Jon.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Louzie0 on October 26, 2020, 05:12:56 PM
Be afraid...

Congratulations Jon!
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Walmley_Villa on October 26, 2020, 05:30:52 PM
Good luck Jon...keep us honest
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Jon Crofts on October 26, 2020, 06:41:43 PM
Just be nice to each other.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: N'ZMAV on October 26, 2020, 06:48:10 PM
Yes mom :)
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Clampy on October 26, 2020, 07:00:32 PM
Just be nice to each other.

Mr and Mrs.....
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Brazilian Villain on October 26, 2020, 07:03:49 PM
It was going to be the scariest, but LouzieO turned it down.

She was made an offer she could refuse.

Welcome Jon and can I now put on record that I've always thought your jokes in OT are hilarious.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: West Derby Villan on October 26, 2020, 07:04:19 PM
Congratulations Jon, is this a joke 😉
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: frankmosswasmyuncle on October 26, 2020, 07:07:23 PM
All the best Jon.

Personally, I hope this won't impinge on your bloody awful jokes time!

Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Villan For Life on October 26, 2020, 07:10:20 PM
All the best Jon.

Why not start as a mod as you mean to go on? Please lock the joke thread.....
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: usav on October 26, 2020, 07:14:15 PM
So we thought stuff it, give it to Jon Crofts. Blame him for everything from now on.

Oh bloody hell, is that the best we have?

Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Brazilian Villain on October 26, 2020, 07:15:17 PM
Congratulations Jon, is this a joke 😉

One of his better ones if it is.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Toronto Villa on October 26, 2020, 07:20:07 PM
who's Jon Crofts? Did we get him from TBAR? Is he on Lansbury wages?
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: CT on October 26, 2020, 07:22:16 PM
Is he the one with the yacht? 😉
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: pauliewalnuts on October 26, 2020, 07:44:04 PM
Not as good as the old moderators.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: N'ZMAV on October 26, 2020, 07:51:21 PM
Not as good as the old moderators.
they're not quite Bickster.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: N'ZMAV on October 26, 2020, 07:51:58 PM
that's probably a good thing :)
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Pat McMahon on October 26, 2020, 08:10:43 PM
Congratulations Jon. Finally we have proof that our youth policy is working.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: PeterWithesShin on October 26, 2020, 08:13:06 PM
Not as good as the old moderators.

(https://media.tenor.com/images/a0d6553db2f51c907c696cded82231ac/tenor.gif)
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Percy McCarthy on October 26, 2020, 09:21:36 PM
It was going to be the hardest, but Mazrim ran off.

Good luck Jon, you’ll be ace.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Hookeysmith on October 26, 2020, 09:26:54 PM
Just be nice to each other.

Just who the fuck are you telling to be nice




;)
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Toronto Villa on October 26, 2020, 09:34:26 PM
Just be nice to each other.

Hahaha. Unwinds middle finger.







Joking... we respect you

🤥

Seriously good luck. Just be happy we are doing well
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Damo70 on October 26, 2020, 09:34:41 PM
Is it a case of smile and grin at the change all around or a case of meet the new boss same as the old boss?

Personally I am a longtime big fan of the JC and his body of work.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dave shelley on October 26, 2020, 10:53:05 PM
Good luck Jon.  I sometimes think that if H&V was held in an open room it would end up like the commissary scene in Blazing Saddles.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: ChicagoLion on October 27, 2020, 07:07:43 AM
Good luck and don’t drink the Kool-Aid
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: The Edge on October 27, 2020, 08:16:23 AM
I for one would like to welcome our new overlord.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Dr Butler on October 27, 2020, 08:23:35 AM
be gentle Jon...  :)

UTV
The Doc
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on October 27, 2020, 08:39:35 AM
An undemocratic appointment conducted in a secretive manner and foisted upon us, it radically alters the balance of power in the upper echelons of H & V and was clearly done for that very purpose. This has been pushed through with absolutely no consultation and should not even have been considered until after the presidential election. I fear for the future.  ;)
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: eamonn on October 27, 2020, 09:12:56 AM
Is it a case of smile and grin at the change all around or a case of meet the new boss same as the old boss?

Personally I am a longtime big fan of the JC and his body of work.

He is not Jesus though he has the same initials.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: cdbearsfan on October 27, 2020, 09:57:48 AM
There were some similarities. "Peter, you are my rock". FFS. Atrocious.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: AV82EC on October 27, 2020, 10:19:04 AM
Is it a case of smile and grin at the change all around or a case of meet the new boss same as the old boss?

Personally I am a longtime big fan of the JC and his body of work.

He is not Jesus though he has the same initials.

Which always reminds me of the classic NTNOCN sketch re: Monty Python around the time the Life of Brian was released.

Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dave.woodhall on October 27, 2020, 10:21:19 AM
Jon Crofts, Jesus Christ, John Cleese, Jasper Carrott. Spot the connection.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Dr Butler on October 27, 2020, 10:24:53 AM
Jon Crofts, Jesus Christ, John Cleese, Jasper Carrott. Spot the connection.

none of them are funny ?  :)

UTV
The Doc
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on October 27, 2020, 10:45:58 AM
Jon Crofts, Jesus Christ, John Cleese, Jasper Carrott. Spot the connection.

none of them are funny ?  :)

UTV
The Doc

You forgot the especially unfunny James Corden.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: cdbearsfan on October 27, 2020, 11:11:38 AM
At least John Cleese used to be funny.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Drummond on October 27, 2020, 12:02:07 PM
More like a mix of...

Jeremy Clarkson
Julie Christie
Jonathan Cainer
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dave.woodhall on October 27, 2020, 12:05:08 PM
In the realms of comedy, Carrott is under-rated. He was highly influential in his day.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: AV82EC on October 27, 2020, 12:23:11 PM
Was Carrot the first truly TV age observational comic or did Billy Connolly beat him to the punch? Or were there others before them?
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dave.woodhall on October 27, 2020, 12:26:49 PM
Was Carrot the first truly TV age observational comic or did Billy Connolly beat him to the punch? Or were there others before them?

Connolly was around first but from what I remember he was better known as a singer than a comic. They were certainly the pub rock to the early alternative comedians punk. 
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Dr Butler on October 27, 2020, 12:32:04 PM
In the realms of comedy, Carrott is under-rated. He was highly influential in his day.

agreed, My Mom and Dad loved him.

sadly my attempt at any type of comedy has made me do a J. Corden...apologies

UTV
The Doc
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dave shelley on October 27, 2020, 12:43:03 PM
Don't forget Julian Cleary.  Re the chicken and egg thing with Jasper Carrot and Billy Connolly, I'm almost certain I'd heard of Billy Connolly in the late eighties whereas Jasper Carrot was much later.  I been lucky enough to see both and both are incredibly funny men.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Risso on October 27, 2020, 12:48:19 PM
Don't forget Julian Cleary.  Re the chicken and egg thing with Jasper Carrot and Billy Connolly, I'm almost certain I'd heard of Billy Connolly in the late eighties whereas Jasper Carrot was much later.  I been lucky enough to see both and both are incredibly funny men.

Billy Connolly late 80s and Carrott after that?  Were you living in a cave for most of the 1970s and 80s Dave?!
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on October 27, 2020, 12:51:41 PM
Quote
When British television began its slow, not entirely successful repudiation of racial stereotyping and mother-in-law jokes in the mid-1970s, approaching a more personal, anecdotal style of stand-up comedy, producers initially overlooked the emerging Billy Connolly, even after his seminal 1975 appearance on Parkinson.

“Billy was doing his stuff, obviously. But he couldn’t get on television much because of the swearing,” Jasper Carrott points out. “So in those days, into the late Seventies and early Eighties, I had the raconteur field largely to myself”.

https://www.scotsman.com/lifestyle/jasper-carrott-interview-comedy-will-always-be-minefield-82715
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Mister E on October 27, 2020, 12:53:25 PM
Don't forget Julian Cleary.  Re the chicken and egg thing with Jasper Carrot and Billy Connolly, I'm almost certain I'd heard of Billy Connolly in the late eighties whereas Jasper Carrot was much later.  I been lucky enough to see both and both are incredibly funny men.
I bought "Carrott in Notts" in 1976, Dave. He was at the height of his powers then.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dave shelley on October 27, 2020, 12:57:03 PM
Don't forget Julian Cleary.  Re the chicken and egg thing with Jasper Carrot and Billy Connolly, I'm almost certain I'd heard of Billy Connolly in the late eighties whereas Jasper Carrot was much later.  I been lucky enough to see both and both are incredibly funny men.

Billy Connolly late 80s and Carrott after that?  Were you living in a cave for most of the 1970s and 80s Dave?!

Fuck that!  As I was typing, the year 1968 was in my head and between brain and iPad it morphed to eighties.  Even I'm not that thick to type that deliberately.  I dunno though, that's what happens when you try to type and peel an avocado at the same time.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Jon Crofts on October 27, 2020, 01:03:03 PM
Carrot was brilliant live, saw him a few times and despite him being a nose he knew his and their place in the pecking order of things.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on October 27, 2020, 01:10:53 PM
Three noses I like...Jasper Carrott, Barry Fry, Tom Ross...after that I'm struggling.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Neil Hawkes on October 27, 2020, 01:14:02 PM
Was Carrot the first truly TV age observational comic or did Billy Connolly beat him to the punch? Or were there others before them?
Connolly was around first but from what I remember he was better known as a singer than a comic. They were certainly the pub rock to the early alternative comedians punk. 
What about Dave Allen?
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: thick_mike on October 27, 2020, 01:15:13 PM
I think it’s safe to say Carrot and Connolly are considerably funnier than Croft.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dave.woodhall on October 27, 2020, 01:25:46 PM
Was Carrot the first truly TV age observational comic or did Billy Connolly beat him to the punch? Or were there others before them?
Connolly was around first but from what I remember he was better known as a singer than a comic. They were certainly the pub rock to the early alternative comedians punk. 
What about Dave Allen?

New York Dolls.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Risso on October 27, 2020, 01:29:11 PM
I used to have the deep misfortune to do the accounts for Bernard Manning, the fat, racist, unfunny twat.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dave.woodhall on October 27, 2020, 01:36:51 PM
I used to have the deep misfortune to do the accounts for Bernard Manning, the fat, racist, unfunny twat.

I have a theory about Bernard Manning that he wasn't as racist (certainly no more so than the typical seventies northerner) and certainly not as daft as he made out. The end was nigh for his style of working men's clubs comedy and the talented ones found new ways of working. Some became quiz show hosts, others actors, while the less talented spent a lot of time in Where Are They Now? columns bemoaning the fact that there's no place for proper comedy on TV anymore. Manning was never going to be able to host a quiz show or join Coronation Street, so he deliberately set out to make himself unbookable on TV, becoming a free speech martyr and gaining a new audience. Lee Hurst has done the same, but he's a twat. 
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Risso on October 27, 2020, 01:53:18 PM
Nah, he was genuinely racist and unpleasant.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: TopDeck113 on October 27, 2020, 02:11:06 PM
When I was a student in the 80s and visiting a mate who went to Salford, I had the misfortune to spend a Saturday night in the "World Famous" Embassy Club. 

A smarter man than me would have extrapolated the various acts' material and the make up of the audience and concluded that the world of Brexit and Trump was simply matter of time.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Risso on October 27, 2020, 02:26:53 PM
When I was a student in the 80s and visiting a mate who went to Salford, I had the misfortune to spend a Saturday night in the "World Famous" Embassy Club. 

A smarter man than me would have extrapolated the various acts' material and the make up of the audience and concluded that the world of Brexit and Trump was simply matter of time.

We had a couple of work nights out there.  Luckily by the time that Bernard jnr had taken it over, they actually had some decent, non-racist acts on.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: DB on October 27, 2020, 02:42:36 PM
Jon Crofts, Jesus Christ, John Cleese, Jasper Carrott. Spot the connection.

Jeremy Corbyn.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Rory on October 27, 2020, 02:49:57 PM
Good luck Jon  :D
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Brazilian Villain on October 27, 2020, 02:53:00 PM
I think it’s safe to say Carrot and Connolly are considerably funnier than Croft.

As is Jimmy Carr and so was John Candy, however our JC is funnier than Jimmy Cricket.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Scratchins on October 27, 2020, 03:08:32 PM
I think it’s safe to say Carrot and Connolly are considerably funnier than Croft.

As is Jimmy Carr and so was John Candy, however our JC is funnier than Jimmy Cricket.

If you met Jim Cumbes you would know that he is one of the most entertaining people around. His Groucho Marx at a fancy dress party was spot on.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: GordonCowansisthegreatest on October 27, 2020, 03:24:20 PM
I'd sooner watch Johan Cruyff.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: PeterWithesShin on October 27, 2020, 03:48:20 PM
Josh Chetwynd had his moments at 4am during rain delays.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Risso on October 27, 2020, 05:23:34 PM
Jon's more Jeremy Clarkson.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on October 27, 2020, 08:41:41 PM
John Carew has made appearances on Nytt på nytt. (Norways version of Have I Got News for You)
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Brazilian Villain on October 27, 2020, 09:05:33 PM
John Carew has made appearances on Nytt på nytt. (Norways version of Have I Got News for You)

That's nothing for an ex-Villa player, Paul Merson's been on the UK version for 30 years.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Lizz on October 27, 2020, 09:46:31 PM
In the realms of comedy, Carrott is under-rated. He was highly influential in his day.

One of the funniest things ever on TV IMO was Jasper Carrot singing Funky Moped on TOTP. Especially as the real reason it was a hit was because of the B side.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Brend'Watkins on October 27, 2020, 11:17:20 PM
Regarding Bernard Manning, racist, absolutely. Unpleasant person, I don’t know but I assume he might well have been. That aside, some of his Irish jokes were hilarious. Had the same come out of any of the other mainstream comedians of the time I would have been offended. Don’t know why that is, it just is.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: pauliewalnuts on October 29, 2020, 08:10:49 PM
Regarding Bernard Manning, racist, absolutely. Unpleasant person, I don’t know but I assume he might well have been. That aside, some of his Irish jokes were hilarious. Had the same come out of any of the other mainstream comedians of the time I would have been offended. Don’t know why that is, it just is.

Bernard Manning was horrible in every way, although I will admit, I thought this joke (warning, joke about concentration camps ahoy) ...

My grandfather perished at Auschwitz. Fell out of his guard tower

... was very good.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Dave on October 29, 2020, 09:05:19 PM
There were some similarities. "Peter, you are my rock". FFS. Atrocious.

Very underrated post.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: olaftab on October 29, 2020, 10:47:23 PM
Can I ask if appointment of Jon on the Moderation Board address the heavy leftie bias as I have heard he is slightly right of Attila the Hun?
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Dave Cooper please on October 30, 2020, 12:52:14 AM
Just be nice to each other.

Fuck that.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on October 30, 2020, 08:13:03 AM
Just be nice to each other.

Mr and Mrs.....


(https://i.ibb.co/W6bZmqC/stageadvert-btemail.jpg) (https://ibb.co/W6bZmqC)
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Jon Crofts on October 30, 2020, 02:25:52 PM
Can I ask if appointment of Jon on the Moderation Board address the heavy leftie bias as I have heard he is slightly right of Attila the Hun?

Attila the Hun was a liberal snowflake.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: darren woolley on October 30, 2020, 09:50:45 PM
Good luck Jon.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: john e on October 31, 2020, 01:59:18 PM
did he have to roll his trouser leg up and bare his left breast when he was inducted into the mod squad

or is it even more weird and secretive than that
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: dave.woodhall on October 31, 2020, 02:22:56 PM
did he have to roll his trouser leg up and bare his left breast when he was inducted into the mod squad

or is it even more weird and secretive than that

There's no secret - he was the highest bidder.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Jon Crofts on October 31, 2020, 10:59:00 PM
did he have to roll his trouser leg up and bare his left breast when he was inducted into the mod squad

or is it even more weird and secretive than that

There's no secret - he was the highest bidder.

The cheque still hasn’t cleared according to my statement.
Title: Re: Welcome to our new moderator
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on November 01, 2020, 07:28:25 AM
did he have to roll his trouser leg up and bare his left breast when he was inducted into the mod squad

or is it even more weird and secretive than that

There's no secret - he was the highest bidder.

The cheque still hasn’t cleared according to my statement.

Kids. A cheque was a piece of paper which had pre printed all of your bank a/c details which you tore out of a book writing in the details of money to pay someone else. (e.g. Pay Heroes & Villains...Three shillings and six pence only...3s/6d ). You then forgot to sign it and posted it with a 2nd class stamp.

Next week. Season ticket books and the importance of programme vouchers.
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