Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Match Threads & Player Ratings => Topic started by: kippaxvilla2 on March 13, 2020, 09:16:16 PM

Title: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: kippaxvilla2 on March 13, 2020, 09:16:16 PM: Just FRO Engels. McGinn back was a bonus. But we really are deep in it. Jack isolated again. Reina never again ! He’s got to go Tom.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Steve67 on March 13, 2020, 09:25:09 PM: We kept a clean sheet!

I never ever want to see Dave Woodhall streak naked across the pitch again. I had no idea that this coronavirus made you delirious!
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: john e on March 13, 2020, 09:28:06 PM: Tammy scoring that own goal to help us win really pissed of the Chavy twats
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Holte132 on March 13, 2020, 09:35:33 PM: Why has Reina got to go? His 2nd half hattrick for us was incredible!
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: colin69 on March 13, 2020, 09:36:02 PM: Zonal marking, what do they do at BMH all week?.....Smith out!!!
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Sexual Ealing on March 13, 2020, 09:43:53 PM: I was surprised by the level of venom when John Terry waded into the away fans and called them all racist, Tory, Surrey wank-attendants.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Louzie0 on March 13, 2020, 09:45:36 PM: Amazed that Terry strangled Kepa with his socks.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Toronto Villa on March 13, 2020, 10:06:51 PM: Despite our comfortble lead late on did anyone else shit themselves at around the 88th minute? I jusyt felt it inevitable we'd fuck up our big lead.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: hilts_coolerking on March 13, 2020, 10:08:50 PM: That goal by Juan Pablo was a belter.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: rougegorge on March 13, 2020, 10:12:41 PM: Just heard Dean's after match interview: "Well, at least we weren't as bad as we were against Southampton and Leicester".
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Border villan on March 13, 2020, 10:17:03 PM: Danny Drinky “I feel at home here, have had a word with Frank and hope the deal will be done in the summer”.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Deano's Mullet on March 13, 2020, 10:26:15 PM: Great cross from Daley, great header from Dalian, he actually fancied it today and could have had one or two. Shit away support, shit team, Hoddle has got his work cut out managing that lot. In twenty years time they will be div 3 while we are winning titles......
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: hilts_coolerking on March 13, 2020, 10:27:57 PM: Smith: "I thought we were decent first half but then the referee sneezed and it changed the game. By the time Chelsea's sixth went in, the players were just dispirited by the injustice of it all."
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Louzie0 on March 13, 2020, 10:31:59 PM: Quote from: hilts_coolerking on March 13, 2020, 10:27:57 PM
Smith: "I thought we were decent first half but then the referee sneezed and it changed the game. By the time Chelsea's sixth went in, the players were just dispirited by the injustice of it all."
Luckily Villa players are made of sterner stuff and the reciprocal goal fest was something to behold.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: PeterWithesShin on March 13, 2020, 10:43:52 PM: John Terry, we know what you are.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Fred Crump on March 13, 2020, 10:46:33 PM: Absolutely battered ‘em. Then I woke up and realised we’d lost 1-6.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: PeterWithesShin on March 13, 2020, 10:53:32 PM: (https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-yEFsH8BDUoI/UySluc0cYcI/AAAAAAAABzw/Fk-2uUfhtFs/s0/15-03-2014-GifNumber-200.gif)
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: kippaxvilla2 on March 13, 2020, 11:50:54 PM: How many fcuking times is Kerry Dixon going to score against us. Thank God for Dorigos pace.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Rudy Can't Fail on March 14, 2020, 12:11:02 AM: Favourite moment was when all of Villa Park rose up to sing 'Osgood no good! Osgood no good!'
The other 89 minutes was shit.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Villan82 on March 14, 2020, 12:49:23 AM: Get in! 1-0!

Thought AEG did very well to get that cross in for Davis. Subbing Samatta for Davis in the 70th minute was a masterstroke!
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: kippaxvilla2 on March 14, 2020, 12:56:58 AM: Quote from: PeterWithesShin on March 13, 2020, 10:53:32 PM
(https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-yEFsH8BDUoI/UySluc0cYcI/AAAAAAAABzw/Fk-2uUfhtFs/s0/15-03-2014-GifNumber-200.gif)

Best comment so far!
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: CT on March 14, 2020, 07:36:40 AM: I'm so pleased for Henri Lansbury. To come on and dominate the midfield was great to see.

His 98th minute winner was the icing on the cake.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Mister E on March 14, 2020, 08:40:35 AM: Quote from: CT on March 14, 2020, 07:36:40 AM
I'm so pleased for Henri Lansbury. To come on and dominate the midfield was great to see.

His 98th minute winner was the icing on the cake.
So, first COVID-19 case on H&V, CT?
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Richard E on March 14, 2020, 08:45:57 AM: VAR gives us something at last! The three minute wait for their last minute equaliser to be chalked off was agonising.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Malandro on March 14, 2020, 08:59:30 AM: Dull game, but enjoyed that bird with big knorks being chased by the stewards.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Ads on March 14, 2020, 09:19:01 AM: The way they timed my Heart Will Go On coming on the speakers for Freddie's mazy dribble and the ball hitting the back of the net at the same time a the chorus kicked in was really well done. Got a bit boring when we scored our 9th though.

(If you've not discovered the beauty of Titanc music improving our goals or off key flute music for opposition fuck ups, then ladies and gents, I have sorted your Saturday morning for you. You're welcome).
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: papa lazarou on March 14, 2020, 09:45:34 AM: Shambolic catering yet again, sort it out ffs.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Dave P on March 14, 2020, 09:55:25 AM: Did anybody else see that African bloke reversing out the car park at the end?
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: tony scott on March 14, 2020, 10:13:03 AM: If we could defend set pieces we could have got a result.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Pete3206 on March 14, 2020, 12:06:58 PM: Superfan alert!
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: CT Villan on March 14, 2020, 12:49:13 PM: Excellent win, happy for Allardyce. He already has us tighter at the back and even Tonev got a shot on target.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: frank black on March 14, 2020, 01:16:03 PM: I have say it’s highly unusual to see a player score two own goals. Really feel for Tammy, although he didn’t seem disappointed.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: gpbarr on March 14, 2020, 01:17:30 PM: Great finish by Reina from his own penalty box - a 120 yard screamer into the top corner - goal of the decade!!!

And what was Smith thinking of bringing Prince William on for Samatta???
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: exigo on March 14, 2020, 01:17:43 PM: Not a single bit of hot food to be found at half time. Bloody typical.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Steve67 on March 14, 2020, 02:31:09 PM: Those homeless feckers stole my food! Dean Smith looked like he was waving goodbye at the end of the game, did anyone else notice this?

I thought the crowd was very quiet. Sugarbags.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Rudy Can't Fail on March 14, 2020, 02:32:28 PM: Smith has obviously lost the dressing room. Not one player shuck his hand at full time as they headed to the tunnel.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: PeterWithesShin on March 14, 2020, 02:34:28 PM: I liked the new customer care introduced whereby the club sends someone to sit next to you and give you a handjob. I seemed to be the only one taking advantage of this new service though.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: CT Villan on March 14, 2020, 02:42:05 PM: Quote from: PeterWithesShin on March 14, 2020, 02:34:28 PM
I liked the new customer care introduced whereby the club sends someone to sit next to you and give you a handjob. I seemed to be the only one taking advantage of this new service though.

I hope it wasn't Kalinic cause he would most likely drop the ball.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Border villan on March 14, 2020, 02:52:48 PM: Quote from: CT Villan on March 14, 2020, 02:42:05 PM
Quote from: PeterWithesShin on March 14, 2020, 02:34:28 PM
I liked the new customer care introduced whereby the club sends someone to sit next to you and give you a handjob. I seemed to be the only one taking advantage of this new service though.

I hope it wasn't Kalinic cause he would most likely drop the ball.

One of the moderators needs to get a grip on this.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Pete3206 on March 14, 2020, 02:54:58 PM: Bloke in the Hazmat suit in front of me, filmed the whole match on his mobile. Weirdo.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Border villan on March 14, 2020, 03:00:07 PM: Just leaving home. Hope the M6 is moving well. Wonder what the lineup will be and that SJM is on the bench.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: ChicagoLion on March 14, 2020, 03:19:11 PM: Could have done without Frank and Terry snogging at the end, get a room.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: SoccerHQ on March 14, 2020, 03:34:24 PM: Good game, will take the 0-1 to help our goal difference.

Was pleasantly surprised to bump into Andrew Greaves outside the North Stand. Was telling me all about rooming with Pongo Waring in the early 1980s.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: dalians umbrella on March 14, 2020, 04:45:41 PM: I never thought the mystery 7th substitute would be Hulk Hogan!
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Legion on March 14, 2020, 04:50:48 PM: We haven't virtually kicked-off, yet. 5:30pm.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Border villan on March 14, 2020, 04:56:47 PM: Just parked up and wandering along to the Holte pub for a pint. Seems a bit quieter than usual. Surprised that Cafu has been called out of retirement and playing in midfield with SJM and Jack.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Jon Crofts on March 14, 2020, 05:21:29 PM: Just fucking win Villa.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: clash city rocker on March 14, 2020, 06:26:03 PM: Absolutely no atmosphere. Never known it this quiet.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: exigo on March 14, 2020, 06:59:26 PM: Golazo Goal, whatever the hell that is, are recreating all matches.

GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAALLLLLLLLL. SUPER JACK!!! (https://twitter.com/PLGolazo/status/1238887869772488705)
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: exigo on March 14, 2020, 07:04:26 PM: And, to no great surprise. FFS Villa. 2-1 down.

Mount scores. (https://twitter.com/PLGolazo/status/1238902465799446529)
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: cdbearsfan on March 14, 2020, 07:14:26 PM: Even less surprising, those useless twats Arsenal lost to Brighton.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Legion on March 14, 2020, 07:26:37 PM: Great comeback. 2-3.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Grande Pablo on March 14, 2020, 08:14:08 PM: First on MOTD for a change.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: CT Villan on March 14, 2020, 08:46:06 PM: Great game but does anyone know why Barry didn't take the penalty ?
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: ez on March 14, 2020, 09:29:29 PM: All the bog rolls have been pilfered from the toilets.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Legion on March 14, 2020, 09:31:14 PM: Quote from: CT Villan on March 14, 2020, 08:46:06 PM
Great game but does anyone know why Barry didn't take the penalty ?

Louie played for the U23s the other evening.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: berneboy on March 14, 2020, 09:56:23 PM: To come back the way we did was wonderful. SuperHolte!

That goal from SuperJohnMcGinn was life-giving.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Border villan on March 14, 2020, 10:26:07 PM: I have been out from 7.00 and don’t know the result, don’t spoil it for me but where are we on the MOTD running order?
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: SamTheMouse on March 14, 2020, 10:30:06 PM: I was worried before the game that we were in for a pasting, but from the moment Matt Targett peeled off his skin to reveal a titanium endoskeleton and vaporised the Chelsea mascot with those laser eyes, you just knew it was going to be our day.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: Villan82 on March 15, 2020, 12:49:33 AM: It will take an act of God to save our season.
Title: Re: Aston Villa v Chelsea. The Imaginary Post Match Thread.
Post by: dcdavecollett on March 16, 2020, 10:50:09 PM: I must admit I was bricking it when I saw Pep race off his line as Mason Mount broke through. I was just happy that he got there first but when his fly-kick, wind-assisted, of course, flew into the Holte End net for the winner after 90+6, I was chuffed.

I thought to myself on the way out, "That should shut those bed-wetting Smith Out tw*ts up for a few weeks!!"