Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: oldhill_avfc on March 14, 2016, 09:00:28 AM

Title: Alternative Careers
Post by: oldhill_avfc on March 14, 2016, 09:00:28 AM: Given that most of the current squad clearly aren't well suited to a career in professional football - what alternative career might they consider?

Westwood - pizza restaurant sign holder (pointing to where the restaurant is while the world whizzes by around him)
Hutton - welder (out of work due to recession in shipyards)
Gabby - hospital porter (endlessly trying to chat up nurses while turning his trolley in dead end corridors)

etc
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: mr underhill on March 14, 2016, 09:10:05 AM: I can't be bothered to try and pinpoint individual occupations - atm, they're all delusional, dysfunctional fuckwits and tools.
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: markeeeebeeee2005 on March 14, 2016, 09:13:03 AM: Micah Richards - presenter on Loose Women.
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: adrenachrome on March 14, 2016, 09:51:19 AM: The entire squad - the Keystone Cops or the zombies from the Walking Dead.

Gabby looks like one of the guilty remnant from The Leftovers. The heavy set ginger one that waddles along with a fag in her mouth.
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: pbavfckuwait on March 14, 2016, 10:13:41 AM: Gabby , Chief Pie Taster for Balti Pies
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: Steve67 on March 14, 2016, 11:33:27 AM: Nah, Gabby is the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Or the Michelin Man.

Westwood is a traffic cop.
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: AlexAlexCropley on March 14, 2016, 11:35:49 AM: Gestede-Stand in for Big Bird off Sesame St
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: Comrade Blitz on March 14, 2016, 11:37:27 AM: Brad Guzan - giant dildo
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: Chris Jameson on March 14, 2016, 11:38:36 AM: Most of them should give being a footballer a go.
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: lordmcgrath5 on March 14, 2016, 12:56:45 PM: Quote from: Chris Jameson on March 14, 2016, 11:38:36 AM
Most of them should give being a footballer a go.

Very good.
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle on March 14, 2016, 01:05:17 PM: I think General Krulak could do any job except have a Jacket Spud concession.

After all, He soon fucks off when there's a hot potato around.
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: ktvillan on March 14, 2016, 07:23:50 PM: Gestede - Lamp Post.
Grealish - holiday rep / wine taster
Lescott - car salesman
Clark and Westwood - cage fighters
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: croatian on March 15, 2016, 04:27:48 AM: Quote from: Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle on March 14, 2016, 01:05:17 PM
I think General Krulak could do any job except have a Jacket Spud concession.

After all, He soon fucks off when there's a hot potato around.
That would be a full-metal jacket spud concession.
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: pbavfckuwait on March 15, 2016, 05:16:09 AM: Westwood cage fighter, no he is the bloke who points the way to the cage
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: CJ on March 15, 2016, 09:26:41 AM: Westwood - bricklayer - likes to see things in straight lines sideways with excellent pointing
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: Duncan Shaw on March 15, 2016, 09:30:20 AM: Gabby - permanent guest on Jeremy Kyle Show
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: Zouch Villa on March 15, 2016, 09:37:14 AM: Gestede - Groot in Guardians of the Galaxy 2
Lescott - Top Gear presenter
Cissokho - Children's TV presenter (don't know why, I can just picture him gurning in a brightly coloured knitted jumper reading a story with a teddy bear on his knee, although in my defence I am on some strong medication)
Guzan - Circus clown
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: appyarryampton on March 15, 2016, 09:52:22 AM: Carles Gill - Sagger maker
Ashley Westwood - Sagger makers bottom knocker
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: Zouch Villa on March 15, 2016, 09:24:00 PM: Gabby - McDonald's restaurant Assistant Manager (promotion earned through longevity of service rather than merit, he is now accustomed to being out whitted by the 16 year old part timers he supposedly supervises. Taken off frying duty due to his tendency to drool into the fries)
Title: Re: Alternative Careers
Post by: mr underhill on March 16, 2016, 03:35:37 PM: drool, then consume .