Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: brian green on May 03, 2015, 02:26:58 PM

Title: Once Upon A Time
Post by: brian green on May 03, 2015, 02:26:58 PM
Once upon a time a very rich man, who had lots of other things, decided to buy a goose.   He bought a very fine goose that had laid lots of eggs in the past and was well disposed and did not peck people very much.
The rich man engaged a reputable gooseherd and on his advice built the goose a new shed, dug her a pond and fed her the very best and most expensive food.   The goose laid well and the owner was pleased with his investment.
But one day the gooseherd went mad and ran away.   The owner was very displeased and engaged a French gooseherd of world renown for his production of foie gras.   However, that gooseherd fell sick and the goose stopped laying so the owner took on not one but two Scottish gooseherds but the goose hated them both and refused to lay any eggs at all.   The owner grew very angry and told a servant to take the goose to market and sell it. Very soon a merry young varlet from Hertfordshire came strolling to the goose pen.   He looked at the sad goose and said "I know why you are afraid but Mr Fox is a friend of mine and I promise he will not eat you.   He is young and only likes junk food."
Once the goose stopped being afraid she started to lay lots of eggs again and the rich man took the strolling varlet on as a temporary gooseherd.
One day the varlet took the owner an egg the goose had laid on a trip to London town which had the sheen of purest gold.   The rich man looked at the golden shining egg and told the varlet to put the goose in a cage to be taken to some Chinese gentlemen in the market and bring back the small amount of money they would hand over to him.
The End.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Tayls_7 on May 03, 2015, 02:47:51 PM
This is an analogy of some kind isn't it?
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: martin o`who?? on May 03, 2015, 03:02:40 PM
This is an analogy of some kind isn't it?
Yeah!! - an analogy for smoking too many funny fags.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: martin o`who?? on May 03, 2015, 03:13:41 PM
Besides, Chinky/yank/ruskies/outer-monfucking-golians for all i care, as long as they have the cash and the clubs interests at heart
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: FrankyH on May 03, 2015, 03:27:06 PM
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: PeterWithesShin on May 03, 2015, 03:31:32 PM
(http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/24368947.jpg)
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: PeterWithesShin on May 03, 2015, 03:32:50 PM
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Des Little on May 03, 2015, 03:39:45 PM
Pass the Dutchie, man
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: eamonn on May 03, 2015, 03:43:22 PM
Well I liked it.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Rudy Can't Fail on May 03, 2015, 03:52:37 PM
I never knew the Chinese liked goose. Duck, yes but goose?
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Legion on May 03, 2015, 06:48:19 PM
Well I liked it.

So did I.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Taylor on May 03, 2015, 06:54:02 PM
Well I liked it.
I didn't.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Rudy Can't Fail on May 03, 2015, 07:04:31 PM
Does anybody know who these potential Chinese owners are that Brian refers to?
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: dave shelley on May 03, 2015, 07:10:04 PM
The King Brothers...Wan and Fu.


*sorry*
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: silhillvilla on May 03, 2015, 07:39:22 PM
This is what happens when you start drinking too early at the weekend.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Brend'Watkins on May 03, 2015, 08:35:57 PM
Delph is the goose and he's going to be sold to Carson Yeung?
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: mr underhill on May 03, 2015, 08:44:34 PM
I agree. the very first thing I do after a sherbet or two is dash off a few football themed parables whilst channelling my inner Hans Christian Andersen.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: LeeB on May 03, 2015, 08:58:30 PM
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: oldtimernow on May 04, 2015, 01:37:58 AM
a fine allegory Brian, the children really should take more notice..
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Steve R on May 04, 2015, 01:48:43 AM
I like the description of Sherwood as a strolling varlet.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: adrenachrome on May 04, 2015, 02:35:37 AM
I like the description of Sherwood as a strolling varlet.

Yes, that was good. Also it rhymes with "harlot" which reminded me of a wholesome Hertfordshire harlot from Welwyn Garden City that I once met in the Lanes of Brighton.  Or should I say, she once met me.   



 
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Axl Rose on May 04, 2015, 05:04:45 AM
Besides, Chinky/yank/ruskies/outer-monfucking-golians for all i care, as long as they have the cash and the clubs interests at heart

Ya darf racist
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: not3bad on May 04, 2015, 06:42:24 AM
Does anybody know who these potential Chinese owners are that Brian refers to?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/aston-villa-takeover-chinese-consortium-5555974
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: martin o`who?? on May 04, 2015, 02:54:50 PM
Does anybody know who these potential Chinese owners are that Brian refers to?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/aston-villa-takeover-chinese-consortium-5555974
Lets hope this has a happier ending than the last proposed Chinese takeover of a Birmingham institution.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Malandro on May 04, 2015, 03:14:28 PM
Does anybody know who these potential Chinese owners are that Brian refers to?

I know some Chinese businessmen, Mr pang and Mr Wang. Never mentioned football to me.
I'd count them out.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Yossarian on May 04, 2015, 07:24:46 PM
Where was Ashley Young in all of this?
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: joe_c on May 04, 2015, 08:54:36 PM
This is like one of those French films where a compelling story is dashed on the rocks of a weak denouement that poses more questions than answers and there's no chance of a sequel though there may well be terrible Holywood remake.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: peter w on May 04, 2015, 09:00:06 PM
No, i reckon it'll end with a black and white shot of grass overhanging the edge of a beach with a backdrop of cliffs. And a fraying black and white photo is left in the foreground of a man holding someone's hand.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: PeterWithesShin on May 04, 2015, 09:02:55 PM
This is like one of those French films where a compelling story is dashed on the rocks of a weak denouement that poses more questions than answers and there's no chance of a sequel though there may well be terrible Holywood remake.

I think this is the remake.
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: Villa in Denmark on May 04, 2015, 10:42:12 PM
Does anybody know who these potential Chinese owners are that Brian refers to?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/aston-villa-takeover-chinese-consortium-5555974

I stopped reading as soon as I saw "also interested in West Brom".

That's like going out to buy a car and saying I'll go to the Jaguar dealership because they've really turned things around and started producing some attractive models, but I'll pop into the Dacia dealership on the way home.  Well it's a car so it must be sort of the same.  Not so classy, but it doesn't hide what it is,
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: dcdavecollett on May 05, 2015, 09:10:07 PM
But hasn't The Goose just lost his place in the team?
Title: Re: Once Upon A Time
Post by: silhillvilla on May 05, 2015, 09:12:59 PM
Does anybody know who these potential Chinese owners are that Brian refers to?
Definitely the couple who run The Lantern House in Olton.
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