Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Colhint on April 11, 2013, 10:59:36 AM
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he does seem to have a downer on the Villa doesn't he. So I'm going to try to predict his predictions
Arsenal v Norwich
Arsenal seem to be turning it round a bit lately, and Norwich have had a bad patch. I don't read about Norwich much, so I think Arsenal will win comfortably.
2-0
Aston Villa v Fulham
Villa had a win last week against a very poor Stoke. In fact they were so poor I reckon any team would have beat them. I can't put that down to a good Villa performance. I still think if Stoke had brought Michael Owen on they would have won. Matthew Lowton could possibly make the top 10 goals of the season behind 4 from Suarez, 3 from Gerrard and 1 by Bale.
Fulham look safe now and although they have a terrible away record I think they will nick this
0- 14
Everton v QPR
Everton are a decent mid table side, not as good as liverpool, never will be. But they are up against an in form QPR ,
Harry will really have the team up for this
0-2
Reading v Liverpool
Reading are a football club. Liverpool are favourites to pip united for the title this year. Yes they are a few points behind, but uniteds next 3 games are all away at Barcelona, Madrid and a combined world 11. Whilst Liverpool have 3 home games against Villa.
0- 20
Southampton v West Ham
Can't be arsed really. I've heard of Big Sam and Joe Cole. He's gone down hill since he left Liverpool hasn't he. So I reckon they will nick this
0-1
Newcastle v Sunderland
Now they have got rid of O'neill I can only see Sunderland being relegated to the conference league
3-0
Stoke v Man u
Stoke were really unlucky against a very poor Villa last week, If only they had brought Michael Owen on and Lowton hadn't scrambled a winner I think they would have won. This week will be different though. They will be up against Rooney and some other players, Oh yes van Persie, he's one. And Ashley Young, he's another. Hasn't he come on loads since he left Villa
0-2
The text will be somewhat different but I reckon the results won't be far off his predictions
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Nice one.
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Sounds about spot on
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I genuinely think it will be something like this.....
Aston Villa v Fulham
Aston Villa earned a crucial 3 points last week but it took a moment of excellence from Matthew Lowton to put Villa in front at a time when Stoke looked the more likely to get the winner. Fulham have an in form Dimitar Berbatov up front and I can see him exposing some weaknesses in a young and inexperienced Villa defence. Villa really need to win this with Manchester United next week and I can see the pressure of the home crown being too much for their young guns.
1-2
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Very good - he has QPR 6th or 7th based on his prections and Swansea 17th
Bellend
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Everton 'a decent mid table team' He really is a cock.
They are in reality above Liverpool and not far off a chumpions league spot
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Everton 'a decent mid table team' He really is a cock.
They are in reality above Liverpool and not far off a chumpions league spot
Whilst I agree he's a cock, these aren't actually his predictions.
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I genuinely think it will be something like this.....
Aston Villa v Fulham
Aston Villa earned a crucial 3 points last week but it took a moment of excellence from Matthew Lowton to put Villa in front at a time when Stoke looked the more likely to get the winner. Fulham have an in form Dimitar Berbatov up front and I can see him exposing some weaknesses in a young and inexperienced Villa defence. Villa really need to win this with Manchester United next week and I can see the pressure of the home crown being too much for their young guns.
1-2
Looks almost spot on, I don't think I've seen anything from him regarding the form of our strikers, a lot of the time he seems to have looked at the team sheets, decided which club has more players he knows of and gives them the win, the position he has qpr in is testament to this approach.
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I genuinely think it will be something like this.....
Aston Villa v Fulham
Aston Villa earned a crucial 3 points last week but it took a moment of excellence from Matthew Lowton to put Villa in front at a time when Stoke looked the more likely to get the winner. Fulham have an in form Dimitar Berbatov up front and I can see him exposing some weaknesses in a young and inexperienced Villa defence. Villa really need to win this with Manchester United next week and I can see the pressure of the home crowd being too much for their young guns.
1-2
Spot on!
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Lawro will see that we won our last game and Fulham lost their's, so go for a Villa win. All the time managing not to say anyhting either insightful or complimentary about either side.
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Does he still say "muuurment"? I tend to record MOTD and fast forward across his unbiased summaries.
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Everton 'a decent mid table team' He really is a cock.
They are in reality above Liverpool and not far off a chumpions league spot
Whilst I agree he's a cock, these aren't actually his predictions.
Oh dear! I'm the cock for just scanning through the post
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I'm in one of those prediction leagues and the default position when people don't get their predictions in on time is Lawro's. The last few weeks I've been in the pub when the predictions are due, so I've just texted in 'go with Lawro, but Villa to win, Man U to win and Liverpool to lose. Came fourth in our last round!
The time to worry is when he starts tipping Villa.
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No, I reckon he'll tip us to win this one.
Aston Villa V Fulham
Villa had an excellent win last week against a very poor Stoke. They're starting to show some real form in their attack where Benteke is the stand out performer. He's sure to be a target for a bigger club in the summer. Their defence still does worry me though as they seem to have a mistake in them in every game they play, something Berbatov can take advantage of if he's at it. The rest of the Fulham team are already on the beach, or rock climbing in the Alps, maybe even doing the Inca trail in Peru.
Aston Villa 2 Fulham 1.
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The worst thing is the bbc unashamedly describe him as a 'football expert'
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Never was my old teachers definition of an expert more appropriate
X = an unknown quantity
spurt = a drip under pressure ;)
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I have no problem with Lawro and his predictions. He's not going to get everything right and that is fair enough. My objections though come in because he is so bloody lazy. He deals in cliches and half baked ideas. He puts no effort in, much the same as he looks like he cannot be bothered on MoTD.
The fact he has QPR 7th, us second bottom and Swansea 4th bottom tells its own story.
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The worst thing is the bbc unashamedly describe him as a 'football expert'
Yep. Robbie Savage too. How low have the BBC sunk?
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I have no problem with Lawro and his predictions. He's not going to get everything right and that is fair enough. My objections though come in because he is so bloody lazy. He deals in cliches and half baked ideas. He puts no effort in, much the same as he looks like he cannot be bothered on MoTD.
He can't even put the effort into sitting up straight. His demeanor is such that the photo of him on the beeb web site makes me think it's someone else on MOTD.
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I'm in a predictions league as well and we included him as a player, using his predictions from the BBC, back in the 05/06 season. His record since then is as follows:
Div Pos Pts* 3 ptrs
05/06 2 7/18 213 -
06/07 2 1/16 258 -
07/08 1 5/15 294 -
08/09 1 13/16 252 -
09/10 1 12/16 255 -
10/11 1 7/16 241 40
11/12 1 9/16 239 36
* 3 points for a perfect score; 1 point for a correct 1 X 2.
In general, he's pretty much in the middle overall. He's currently 9th of 16 in Division 1 with a score of 227, against an average for that division, which is the highest of the ten divisions in the competition, of 222.06. For what it's worth, he also won the Ferenc Puskas Regional Knockout Trophy in 06/07. He'd be so proud if he knew.
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His insightful knowledge of the game is on par with your average Joe in other words.
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I don't want to know what Lawro's prediction is. If I know it's bad luck. It's become part of my pre-match ritual to avoid his prediction. This thread does not exist.
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The BBC is a deeply flawed organisation with a poor record when it comes to employing people. Remember, they spent 40 years telling us that Jimmy Saville was a loveable, harmless eccentric. if ever you want to know what to think about a subject just listen to the "unbiased" opinion of the alleged BBC "expert". You can usually guarantee that the truth is the opposite of what they say.
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The best laugh I ave had all day Colhint. Good work.
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Lawro looks like a badly stuffed sofa that's been rescued from the tip these days.
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Bloody hell, he has actually predicted Villa to beat Fulham 2-1, even more shocking is that he has predicted QPR to lose 0-2.
But of course he has Liverpool to win 0-2
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This isn't a good thing.
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Bloody hell Peter Alliss is hedging his bets isn't he?
As for Lawro, he's too scared of making a (bigger) fool of himself so plays it safe. The no risk, go with form strategy ensures that you are always going to pick up enough points. I'd prefer someone like Roy Keane to have a go:
"QPR are fuckin shit, they are going to get gubbed and frankly I can't believe that they even have the cheek to turn up at all"
36-0
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"And Ashley Young, he's another. Hasn't he come on loads since he left Villa" Even Lawro's not that thick...
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"And Ashley Young, he's another. Hasn't he come on loads since he left Villa" Even Lawro's not that thick...
He plays exactly the same game as he did when he was with us. Lawro, fuck off.
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That was Col's impersonation of Lawro doing his predictions, Dan!
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That was Col's impersonation of Lawro doing his predictions, Dan!
Woops, sorry, still not really awake yet. Will take more notice in class from now on.
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Never was my old teachers definition of an expert more appropriate
X = an unknown quantity
spurt = a drip under pressure ;)
The version I know is more appropriate for Lawro - an 'ex' is a has-been
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He really just can't let it go, can he?
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Just post this across from the Fulham thread.
Why does every one of Lawro's predictions about us contain a story about Liverpool and their shit finishing at Klanfield in the opening 20 minutes, before we smashed them all over the shop?
Bitter twat.
Indeed.
Before the Liverpool game: "Villa won at Anfield in December after getting battered for the first 20 minutes and they did the same against QPR in their last game."
Before this game: "They have had some other good results this season, like winning at Anfield in December, but on that occasion they were good for an hour but were battered for 20 minutes or so when Liverpool should have scored."
Mentioned it twice in three fixtures. How utterly bizarre and bitter of the man.
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Just post this across from the Fulham thread.
Why does every one of Lawro's predictions about us contain a story about Liverpool and their shit finishing at Klanfield in the opening 20 minutes, before we smashed them all over the shop?
Bitter twat.
Indeed.
Before the Liverpool game: "Villa won at Anfield in December after getting battered for the first 20 minutes and they did the same against QPR in their last game."
Before this game: "They have had some other good results this season, like winning at Anfield in December, but on that occasion they were good for an hour but were battered for 20 minutes or so when Liverpool should have scored."
Mentioned it twice in three fixtures. How utterly bizarre and bitter of the man.
I think he is just very very very lazy rather than bitter.
The Beebs football needs a major overhaul.
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I think he mentions it because he doesn't actually follow much football other than Liverpool, and feels the need to constantly defend that club.
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I think he mentions it because he doesn't actually follow much football other than Liverpool, and feels the need to constantly defend that club.
Yep, the only times he has seen us play is away at Anfield and when they played us a couple of weeks ago.
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Just post this across from the Fulham thread.
Why does every one of Lawro's predictions about us contain a story about Liverpool and their shit finishing at Klanfield in the opening 20 minutes, before we smashed them all over the shop?
Bitter twat.
Indeed.
Before the Liverpool game: "Villa won at Anfield in December after getting battered for the first 20 minutes and they did the same against QPR in their last game."
Before this game: "They have had some other good results this season, like winning at Anfield in December, but on that occasion they were good for an hour but were battered for 20 minutes or so when Liverpool should have scored."
Mentioned it twice in three fixtures. How utterly bizarre and bitter of the man.
I think he has no choice but to mention it, as I'm beginning to believe that it's the only game of ours that he's actually seen. Everything else he says seems like he's done little more than read the Monday tabloids
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I think he mentions it because he doesn't actually follow much football other than Liverpool, and feels the need to constantly defend that club.
Yep, the only times he has seen us play is away at Anfield and when they played us a couple of weeks ago.
I think that has a fair bit to do with it. Apart from general stuff, it's as though he only sees other teams through the prism of their matches against Liverpool, which is probably when he only really pays much attention to them.
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I don't blame him for constantly bringing the conversation round to Liverpool. If I was him I would do the same. I wouldn't want to be bringing up the subject of Oxford, Peterborough and my managerial record.
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Bloody Hell, I know golf fans like a lot of clubs but Peter Alliss is taking the piss!
"His opponent for the FA Cup semi-finals and the latest round of Premier League games is BBC golf commentator Peter Alliss.
Alliss started off supporting Bournemouth and now follows nine clubs in England and Scotland
Alliss is known as 'the voice of golf' and is currently heading BBC coverage of The Masters at Augusta.
But he is also a keen football fan and follows the fortunes of various clubs, including Bournemouth, Aldershot, Celtic, Rangers, Manchester City, Arsenal, Portsmouth, Aberdeen and Blackpool.
He backs Manchester United to edge closer to the title with a draw at Stoke, Newcastle to claim a narrow win in the north-east derby and bottom side Reading to hold Liverpool.
You can see all of Alliss's predictions on Football Focus on Saturday at 12:15 BST on BBC One and this website (in the UK)"
First time I've ever heard of anyone liking Celtic AND Rangers!
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Quite funny that Colhint's original 'joke' predictions were so authentic that you can almost not tell them apart from the real thing.
I don't mind the results he picks so much - whatever he has to pick one and he's not that wrong. But the comments are just awful all of the time, does nobody proof-read them for biased twattishness at the BBC?
The Liverpool game comments are bizarre, really.
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regardless, he has us down to win. So we are doomed to lose. Now all we need is Robbie Savage tipping us to stay up and relegation is guaranteed.