Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Holte Enders in the Sky => Topic started by: bilsim on March 01, 2013, 12:37:13 AM
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Today would have been my girlfriends 21st birthday. Polly to everybody, we were "childhood sweethearts" and spent 6 years totally besotted with one another. It's difficult to explain, as a twenty one year old, that we had such a close and mature relationship from the age of just 14.
Coming from a family of Blues supporters, I made it my life's mission to convert her to the claret and blue. She had no interest in football, but tied her colours to the Blues mast. After going to the Bernabeu whilst on holiday in Madrid, she decided that football could be entertaining after all and asked me to take her to a game. She only set foot in Villa Park once, unfortunately not for a match but for a Take That show.
In August 2011 she was rushed to hospital after collapsing at work, I went to see her the night that it happened and was optimistic she'd be out by the weekend so we could go for dinner like we did every Saturday night. Unfortunately, her condition deteriorated and though she was still lucid, she was largely unable to move. The doctors couldn't give us any information on what had happened and told me that her symptoms were "similar" to a lot of things. Me, her mom and her sister, as well as a few friends, alternated between visits so she always had someone to talk to when she woke up. I think the conversations we had in those moments were the most profound and moving discussions I will ever have, and not a day goes by that I don't remember them. I woke up on the Sunday morning to hear that she hadn't made it through the night. She was only 19.
I don't like talking about these events too much, they're still incredibly raw and though my friends and family all know, I've not told anybody I've met since about our relationship or her death. It's difficult with the amount of times people ask if I have a girlfriend! I do however feel that it's good to write everything down and pay tribute to the most amazing human being I've ever known. I can't begin to imagine the bravery it took for a nineteen year old to lie, virtually paralysed, with no idea what was wrong with her and all of us rallying around unable to help. She never cried about her situation and the last thing she said was "text me when you get home." A truly selfless and utterly amazing young lady.
In the weeks after her death, I found out that she'd always told her family that she was a Villa supporter, whilst she'd always told me she supported Blues. She just wanted to be a contrarian.
I miss her everyday and she will always be the measure of my dreams. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read and let me be the first to say Happy Birthday, as long as I'm around I'll celebrate your birthday every year!
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What a very sad story. Hold onto your happy memories bilsim and rest in peace Polly
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Bilsim, you are a very brave and mature young man and I thank you for sharing you pain and story with us.
I do understand that even so young you could have a mature and very close relationship (my youngest son has just celebrated his 1st wedding anniversary and he turned 20 in Jan this year). Some events change your outlook on life, but true love is just that.
I admire you for sharing this with your fellow Villains and I share the same sentiments as Willy has posted. RIP Polly.
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Im welling up here mate,God bless you and your dear Molly,I hope you find true love again.
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wow what an incredibly sad and moving story, your memories and your love for her will always keep you going in your darkest hours my friend.
UTV Polly
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So sorry for your loss man, memories and the good times you shared will stay with you and last forever, - and - your right-i know what you mean about writing everything down,
God Bless you both and R.I.P. Polly,
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Very moving mate, best wishes to you, and RIP Polly.
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Such a moving post, bilsim.
Where's the tissues?
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thanks for sharing that, as they say, its good to talk. Best wishes mate, R I P Polly. ;)
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The upmost respect to you son - Whatever life she had she ended hers knowing how much she was loved by you
Age does not make you a man - it is your actions and your heart and how you deal with the shit life throws at you - you are brave and i am sure she would be very proud of you
Not sure how i face the office now with bright red eyes :'(
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Bilsim, what a moving post that shows your love for your soul mate. Often people keep grief inside themselves as a way of trying to bury or deny the feelings, what you have done by sharing your grief with us is to allow yourself to heal a little bit. If you have not had bereavement counselling then I suggest you look for a counselor. I know from bitter personal experience that you cant always do it alone and that speaking with someone 'outside' will help, even if you think you are coping and getting on with your life.
As I posted on another thread, the price you pay for having someone special in your life is the way you feel when they leave you. Other people seem to move on and forget so you sometimes cover your grief with a smile or a turn of your head so they cant see your pain.
If you need someone to talk to drop me a PM and I will help in any way I can.
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I'm kind of lost for words.
R.I.P. Polly.
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Gosh thats awful. I'm so sorry for you. If you can, just try and remember the good times.
Rest in peace Polly
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Great post bilism. Fond memories Polly.
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Happy Birthday Polly. There is a man who is still with us who loves you very much.
Take care on your journey.
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Gulp...very moving and a credit to you. She would have been very proud of you posting that. Happy Birthday Polly x
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I'm kind of lost for words.
Same here except to say how wonderfully you honour her memory, Bilsim.
A belated happy birthday, Polly. May you rest in peace.
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Only read this now, but deeply moved by it.
First love is so unique and strong, but for it to last so passionately and devotedly until the end is quite a special thing. You were able to experience that and so was she. Which is more than practically anyone else.
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Just seen this thread , how very sad - Polly will always be with you in your heart bilsim and I'm sure she would be proud you shared this moving story with us - take care my friend .