Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: PeterWithesShin on January 31, 2013, 02:28:55 PM
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New competition to welcome our new signing. Same rules as always. Winner gets to choose one DVD from the following list.
Saw
Billy Connolly Live in New York
Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Inside Man
School of Rock
Night of the Living Dead (B&W original)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v436/EnglishPride2004/sylla_zps148e28e1.jpg)
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Listen up! So when the other team get a corner, you get your head to it! Look it's easy! Everyone with me so far?
Lambert, "Can you go over that again please?"
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With a simple tube of superglue, Lambert unveiled his secret masterplan for Villa keeping hold of the ball
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Lambert: Right apprently thats a ball, you wont see much of it during the match so get a good feel now!"
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The Guinness book of records was rocking today as the previous record for largest zit was comprehensively smashed by a young Frenchman.
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The boss has told me that I will feature in his next few team selections as follows: substitute; holding midfielder in 4-4-2; holding midfielder in 5-3-2; holding midfielder in 3-5-2 for the 1st half then 4-4-1-1 for the 2nd half; substitute; attacking midfielder in 4-2-3-1; striker in 4-0-6; goalkeeper for 3 consecutive matches; not in the squad. So, the system and my role will be as clear as it is for all of the other players.
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"Sorry Gaffer - what was that? With this ball against my ear all I heard was mumbling!"
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I'n a Nike hootgall, and I yhant a gottle of geer.
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"I 'eld ze ball like dis while i was reversing - I could not see ze incident"
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The new novelty iPhone cover was proving a hit with the Villa youngsters.
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The closest a Villa players head has come to the ball all season.
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I told theVilla boss I was a striker , he signed me straight away
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"I 'eld ze ball like dis while i was reversing - I could not see ze incident"
"Ze car reverser was Andrew Grieves wit black mekkup"
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"What the fuck have I let myself in for?"
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This Arsenal kit doesn't look like the one on the TV.
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I've only come for the Tesco burgers.
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When do I get to meet Pires?
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"I 'eld ze ball like dis while i was reversing - I could not see ze incident"
"Ze car reverser was Andrew Grieves wit black mekkup"
Now there is a blast from the past! - What ever happened to Andrew Grieves? Who signed him in the end? (no pun intended)
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I thought I was buying tickets to see well known French rock band Aston Villa
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"I'll be listening to a lot of balls from now on, this is just the beginning."
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"My role here is twofold; Firstly to make Villa's midfield stronger and secondly to allow some bloke on a fans forum to offload crap dvds from his collection"
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Lambert showing his xenophobia "What? you mean Sylla's black?"
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"I'll be listening to a lot of balls from now on, this is just the beginning."
;D
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"No, I've never heard of me either".
PWS really wants to get rid of Inside Man.
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Silly Sylla signs for Villa!
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"Erm, meester Lambert? You do realise I am actually a handball player, yes? Look!"
"Aye, son, it's naw problem. None of our other players know how to kick the fooking thing either".
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Lambert is devastated to learn Yacouba Sylla, isn't a song in The Lion King.
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Oh. I can only control and pass a white football.
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Lambert reveals his delight at finally winning something - a manager's Scrabble tournament.
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"We're in for a lorra lorra laughs with Sylla!"
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"Surprise surprise! Only me!"
(What do you mean, you've never heard of me?)
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"Welcome to 'Learn to Play the Alan Hutton Way'. Week 2 - Tackling. See Fig. 1"
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"You used to play in the French 2nd Division eh? That may come in handy in a few months"
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"Heading towards the Championship"
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"I think he said were going to be playing in the Champions League next season. I cant really tell though, he mumbles alot"
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"Pictured: new Aston Villa signing Yacouba Sylla (right) and Emile Heskey from the last PWS caption competition (left)"
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I come from a team with foot in its name, yes, FOOT!
or
Me here, boss said me head ball from box
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Glen wins for me so far (no that is not an entry).
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Mr Football headbutts African Car reverser.
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"Erm, meester Lambert? You do realise I am actually a handball player, yes? Look!"
"Aye, son, it's naw problem. None of our other players know how to kick the fooking thing either".
A real rofl-rattler.
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'New signing cures Dunnes dodgy groin with one touch, teammates then appalled as flies swarm out of his mouth'
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"Villa central defenders give a collective wince at the thought of their heads getting that close to the ball"
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"Er...excuse me, this oversized lemon is the wrong shape and has mould on it."
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And boss, when things get really bad, I will do this to remind you that we are not small heath!!
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Villa's new ballboy asks 'Eden who?'
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I've never been this close to a Villa player's head before.
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It's fucking stuck, innit.
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This is how you clear a corner
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Birmingham's a sh*thole, I wanna go home.
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What do you mean I have to play football? I'm Zaphod Beeblebrox - the biggest bang since the Big One!
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Lambert promised me 2 litres of Buckfast per day if i signed.
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Wait, you mean Aston isn't in London?
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Now that I'm here to provide cover never again shall a cornalty strike fear into the heart of an Aston Villa defender.
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Winner time. Honourable mentions go to Glen and Risso, but this is my favourite by a smidgen.
Congrats Jimbo.
"I'll be listening to a lot of balls from now on, this is just the beginning."
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picture of man yanking his chain
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Sent you a PM Jimbo.
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Listen mate, can i put this fucking thing down now?....
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PL - "Ball - head. Ball - head. You hit ball with head, okay, you understand?"
YS - "It's okay boss, I speak good English, I can understand you."
PL - "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to the rest of the useless fuckers."