Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: The Laughing Policeman on September 17, 2012, 07:25:38 PM
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About ten days ago I had a phone call from the club asking me if I'd considered having a season ticket this season. I think the lady I spoke to was called Donna. I explained that at the moment due to a serious illness in the family I was taking things on a match by match basis, and that was that or so I thought.
A few minutes ago I had another call from the club, this time it was a guy called Paul who told me the last time I went to a match was Arsenal last season, I put him right and told him I was there on Saturday. Then he wanted to know if I was going to the Baggies match and once again I had to explain my situation and that I just didn't know. He apologized to me for the call.
Surely when the club rings people and they explain why they can't get to every match a note could be made on their booking history to let others know not to ring again.
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They phoned me up about the away game at Newcastle, when I told them that I don't attend away matches, they said that 'They'd send somebody round to sort me out.'
Whatever that means.
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They don't ring me :(
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Aren't our season-ticket numbers at their highest since '07/08? Doing pretty well considering the atrocious value for money last season.
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I had a call off Donna a couple of weeks ago as well, asking if I was interested in getting a season ticket as the seat I'd had for years was still available.
I explained that I'd had to give up work to become a full time carer but was hoping to go to as many home games as possible and might look at a half season ticket when they're available. I'd already bought 'my' seat for the games up to the Baggies game and asked her when the Norwich game would be available. She then offered to call me when it came on sale.
Tonight I got another call from her to say that the Norwich games now available and if I still wanted a ticket there would be no booking fee as they'd rang me. So I saved a couple of quid and she's going to call me on Thursday so I'll save the booking fee on the Man U game as well.
She's been very pleasant and helpful and gets a thumbs up from me.
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They phoned me and asked if I wanted a BMW. When I said 'yes' the bloke shouted 'you want a black man's willy' and I could hear them all giggling in the background.
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Some time last year I received a call for the club asking if I were interested in hiring corporate facilities.
I explained that I was retired and had a good laugh with whoever it was. Were the conference rooms zimmer frame friendly? Would cocoa be available at the bar?
What surprised me was that there was no mention at all of my lapsed season ticket.
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They've stopped calling me due to my heavy breathing and asking the caller what they are wearing.
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They called me and asked if I knew Theresa Green. When I said the person grunted and snotted himself saying, 'ur urrrrrrrrrhhhhhhh' how can anyone not know that trees are green.
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They phoned me, but made the mistake of doing so on my landline, which we never answer.
Only old people (my parents, my mother in law) and telemarketing people call landlines these days.
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They rang me before the start of last season asking who should be manager.I said TSM.
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They don't ring me :(
Nor me. :(
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I called them and asked if their fridge was running, when they replied it was... I said they had better go catch it then!! I am here all week.
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They don't ring me :(
It's not important but do they have your phone number?
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They don't ring me :(
Nor me. :(
Nor me...but they do incessantly email me with one piece of crap after another.
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Had the 3rd call from them in a week this morning, asking 'If I was a bummer tied to a tree?'
For the third time I replied in the negative and once again got an earful of 'Bummer on the loose!'
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Sod's woke me up with 'Were you born with happiness'? I thought I'd outwit them and said 'no'. They started shouting and laughing down the phone saying, 'you just said you weren't born with a penis'.
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I had a call off Donna a couple of weeks ago as well, asking if I was interested in getting a season ticket as the seat I'd had for years was still available.
She's been very pleasant and helpful and gets a thumbs up from me.
You old dog!
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I had a call off Donna a couple of weeks ago as well, asking if I was interested in getting a season ticket as the seat I'd had for years was still available.
She's been very pleasant and helpful and gets a thumbs up from me.
You old dog!
I can confirm that Donna is far from being an old dog
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FAO Donna
If I give you my number (If I give you my number)
Will you call (will you call)
Will you call (will you call me)
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Just for a change, I decided to phone the club when they were advertising a vacancy for a carpenter, and funnily enough, it was the delectable Donna I spoke to. She sounded lovely, so I affected a pronounced stutter to keep her on the line as long as possible.
Me: I'm r-ringing about the j-j-job in the puh-paper.
Donna: Ok, have you any experience?
Me: I w-w-worked at Mac-Mac-MacAlpine's for f-f-five years; W-W-Wimpy's for t-t-ten. I was a f-f-foreman at Wimpy's, I had t-t-twenty blokes working for me.
Donna: You sound ideal. I shouldn't really say this but if you bring your paperwork in tomorrow, the job's yours.
Me: Great. What was the job again?
Donna: A shuttering carpenter.
Me: Oh sorry, I thought the ad said stuttering carpenter.
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*chortle*