Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Legion on July 18, 2012, 08:28:23 PM
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Knowing you Ian Taylor, knowing me Jack Woodward AAHAAAA!!
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Ian Taylor lookalike says " Fuck me Legion,you have lost some weight,and you look ten years younger.
Whats your secret?"
"Bollocks Taylor, at least my shirt fits me!!"
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JW: "Hi, my name's One-Way Woodward."
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"Is it true they all call you 'Woodwank'?"
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IT lookalike: "You could at least have dressed for the occasion".
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Woodward: " Do you know who i am Taylor?"
Taylor: " I know who you are'nt shorty"
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I used to have a great job with AVTV travelling the world watching football, but I was so crap they sacked me. So then I got a job holding up pizza delivery boards round Birmingham, but I got sacked from that too. I would love to get the pizza board job back, because this job standing on a corner as a one way sign is bloody painful when they nail it in the top of your head.
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Woodward: "So Ian, how would you describe of neighbours at the Sty?"
Ian Taylor: "Shiftless, Shady, Jealous Kind of People".
Woodward: "So you think they'll be going into administration?"
Ian Taylor: "Listen to the Clock on the Wall".
Woodward: "Stupendous! So do you want to share a taxi back?"
Ian Taylor: "No thanks Sunshine, you dirty Backstabber, I'm taking the Love Train"
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"Ace! Fab!"
It looks like we pulled an academy player straight out of school to interview Taylor.
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JW: "Does my bum look big in this?"
IT: "There is nothing you could wear that would make any part of you look big shortstuff."
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IT: "You? Really? I mean....Really?!"
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Taylor; " Since you had that sign put it, you are fucking everywhere I turn."
Woodward; "So...Ian 'Tayls' Taylor, is here with the Aston Villa squad on their USA tour...."
Taylor; "Really...?" (shakes head disapprovingly and walks away)
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IT - "Why are you wearing that stupid 'One Way' hat on your head Woodwank?"
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IT - No, no, NO! I wanted one with a flake and red sauce, not the chocolate hundreds and thousands...
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Ian Taylor- Does your headmaster know you're skiving off school to do work experience as a road sign?
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The new Castle Bromwich Singers duo.(for those who don't know Jack is a member of said group,do a Google search and cringe.
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FFS Percy, put me out of my misery. At least one of us got it?
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JW (doing his best Brian Clough impression): 'Young man, take your hands out of your pockets'.
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Do you think you can beat Yohan Blake Mr Bolt?
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Its a good job i work at villa as i dont own any clothes of my own
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'I've loved this man for years, every time I hand him the mic I gaze into his eyes hoping one day, ONE DAY he will look at me back, and the passion i feel can be finally let free'.
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Who the fuck are you?
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Dave
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Ian Taylor: "Shit!! Aren't you that bloke who plays Barney in 'How I Met Your Mother??"
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IT "I'd definitely advise you to hit the gym, pal"
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IT: Lovely day. Shame to waste it on a twat like you.
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You dare try and pun on the weather being melting hot and "Choc Ice-gate" and I'll lock you in a room with nothing but Andy Blair and a microphone for a week.
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I.T. - "Jack, you do realise you can take your comic con outfit off now don't you"
J.W. - "Just because I have a Klingon forehead is no excuse to take the piss. At least I don't look like Uhuru in a suit with alopecia!"
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" Ian, what is your response to the John Terry Racism outcome?"
" Fuck off you White Honkey !!"
" You can't say that,it's Racist !"
" Prove it. I rest my case."
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Woodward, staring at I.T.'s forehead:
"erm - are you sponsored by Adidas?"