Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Steve R on April 17, 2012, 06:42:36 PM

Title: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Steve R on April 17, 2012, 06:42:36 PM
Who does this ginger fuckwit think he is?

It's not as if he's a real lion. I think he should be sacked.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: TheSandman on April 17, 2012, 06:45:12 PM
I agree. He is single handedly to blame for this season.

Promote Bella until the end of the season and bring in Captain Canary or Cyril the Swan in for next season.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: pauliewalnuts on April 17, 2012, 06:51:07 PM
Bella is even worse.

Watch next time you see Hercules waving at the fans before kick off. She just sits there with a vacant look on her fat face.

Fucking joke, the pair of them.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Legion on April 17, 2012, 06:54:02 PM
Are their offspring still around?
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: PeterWithesShin on April 17, 2012, 06:55:59 PM
Are their offspring still around?

I think Madonna adopted them.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: NeilH on April 17, 2012, 07:01:42 PM
Are their offspring still around?

I think Madonna adopted them.

You're wrong, I think they were hoovered up by Brangelina as they toured the world picking up kids for their expanding child zoo.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: kipeye on April 17, 2012, 07:01:49 PM
Got the wrong ginger fuckwit at first-you mean the mascot?
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: PeterWithesShin on April 17, 2012, 07:03:44 PM
Ding ding ding ding ding.

Who had 6th post in the sweep stake?
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: MarkM on April 17, 2012, 07:04:12 PM
Both Hercules and Bellamy have Been an embarrassment fr a long time.

Neither of them have any idea how to big up a crowd, they just amble round waving and trying to look like they know what they are doing.

They have failed miserably in there prime goal of entertaining the crowd and was it not for there huge compensation packages I'm sure that we would have seen the back of them along time ago.

Lerner just can't see what's going wrong with them! We need to sack them and fast!

And dont get me started on Chip! What's the bloody batman utility belt all about? Wankers the lot of em!

We need a real mascot! Hercules out before it's too late!
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Legion on April 17, 2012, 07:07:09 PM
We need to head-hunt Swifty from the Saddlers.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Ian. on April 17, 2012, 07:11:41 PM
Come on give him a chance, I actually quite like him. He's trying hard to adapt to a big club. He's a nice guy and has a brave heart. He has also had a lot of bad luck this season.  His kids are also trying their best and have being thrown into the deep end.

Give him until the summer to get the act together and make a judgment at Christmas. If no good we can send him to the zoo in Dudley.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Dave Javu on April 17, 2012, 07:20:35 PM
Hercucun...

...you get the idea.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Legion on April 17, 2012, 07:22:20 PM
Herclueless.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Dave Javu on April 17, 2012, 07:23:23 PM
...and Bellend.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Clampy on April 17, 2012, 07:24:13 PM
Hercucun...

...you get the idea.

I'm surprised Randy has'nt tried poaching Beau Brummie.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Holy Trinity on April 17, 2012, 07:29:37 PM
Come on give him a chance, I actually quite like him. He's trying hard to adapt to a big club. He's a nice guy and has a brave heart. He has also had a lot of bad luck this season.  His kids are also trying their best and have being thrown into the deep end.

Give him until the summer to get the act together and make a judgment at Christmas. If no good we can send him to the zoo in Dudley.


we dont want him, he wouldn't fit into our pride
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: PeterWithe on April 17, 2012, 07:31:36 PM
Do I remember many years ago, the two mascots getting married on the pitch before some other 'bad' mascot tried to steal her and a chase around the pitch ensued? Or can I blame it on some particularly powerful disco biscuits I may have had the night before?
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Pete3206 on April 17, 2012, 07:34:57 PM
I have never seen Hercules and Dave Chance in the same room together. Coincidence? I think not.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Legion on April 17, 2012, 07:36:06 PM
Do I remember many years ago, the two mascots getting married on the pitch before some other 'bad' mascot tried to steal her and a chase around the pitch ensued? Or can I blame it on some particularly powerful disco biscuits I may have had the night before?

No, that did happen.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Holy Trinity on April 17, 2012, 07:50:05 PM
Do I remember many years ago, the two mascots getting married on the pitch before some other 'bad' mascot tried to steal her and a chase around the pitch ensued? Or can I blame it on some particularly powerful disco biscuits I may have had the night before?

No, that did happen.

im sure that was either wba in the fa cup in 2000 or liverpool around the same year, i remember being sat in the holte through it all. im pretty sure it was liverpool tho
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on April 17, 2012, 08:00:44 PM
I have no truck with these modern new fangled mascots dressed in furry clothes going round patting our junior followers on their heads and gawping at their claret and blue painted faces.  When I was a kid at Villa Park I didnt need a mascot coming round and my Dad taking a picture. I had a rattle and rosette, later I had a thin silk scarf which had to keep me warm at wintry games in January. I can put up with Sky taking over the game and paying £45 for away games but these mascots having been pissing me off too long - Sack them now !

Oh, and while we are about it if we do want some sort of iconic image to worship which contains all that the institution known as Aston Villa Football Club represents then bring back The Villa Villain !

(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/71039_52305304527_8178224_n.jpg)
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: newtonsballs on April 17, 2012, 08:09:38 PM
I have no truck with these modern new fangled mascots dressed in furry clothes going round patting our junior followers on their heads and gawping at their claret and blue painted faces.  When I was a kid at Villa Park I didnt need a mascot coming round and my Dad taking a picture. I had a rattle and rosette, later I had a thin silk scarf which had to keep me warm at wintry games in January. I can put up with Sky taking over the game and paying £45 for away games but these mascots having been pissing me off too long - Sack them now !

Oh, and while we are about it if we do want some sort of iconic image to worship which contains all that the institution known as Aston Villa Football Club represents then bring back The Villa Villain !

(http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/71039_52305304527_8178224_n.jpg)
I've still got him on my key ring. These modern mascots are just big pussies. (Am I allowed to say that?)
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Legion on April 17, 2012, 08:23:15 PM
Would you say it to his face?
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on April 17, 2012, 08:36:58 PM
Would you say it to his face?

Yes. Rip his mask off. He's not Kendo bloody Nagasaki.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Legion on April 17, 2012, 08:38:30 PM
He was 'the weatherman', once.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: newtonsballs on April 17, 2012, 08:49:45 PM
Would you say it to his face?
Could I say that to Bella or have I got the wrong thread?
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: newtonsballs on April 17, 2012, 08:52:13 PM
He was 'the weatherman', once.

Well, that's not going to give me damp patches in the south is it!
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: indicawarrior on April 18, 2012, 01:22:53 AM
Could be worse http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/607/darkie.jpg/
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Fergal on April 18, 2012, 08:05:43 AM
Bella? I would...
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: UK Redsox on April 18, 2012, 08:13:48 AM
Do I remember many years ago, the two mascots getting married on the pitch before some other 'bad' mascot tried to steal her and a chase around the pitch ensued? Or can I blame it on some particularly powerful disco biscuits I may have had the night before?

No, that did happen.

Only two half-times stick in my memory. The lion wedding and the fall of Santa.

What happened to the old lion that gave Bella away ?

All we get now is the hamster-ball racing
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: UK Redsox on April 18, 2012, 08:15:05 AM
Bella? I would...

Certainly got her figure back quick after the arrival of Chip.

However, I do worry that underneath that curvy costume is a hairy bloke called Terry
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Dave Cooper please on April 18, 2012, 10:29:32 AM
Bella? I would...

Certainly got her figure back quick after the arrival of Chip.

However, I do worry that underneath that curvy costume is a hairy bloke called Terry

Homophobe.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Rip Van We Go Again on April 18, 2012, 11:18:06 AM
Never liked Hercules.

Always thought he was a big head.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: nigel on April 18, 2012, 11:54:37 AM
Bella is even worse.

Watch next time you see Hercules waving at the fans before kick off. She just sits there with a vacant look on her fat face.

Fucking joke, the pair of them.
She's got a nice butt though  ;D
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Brend'Watkins on April 18, 2012, 12:07:40 PM
I think Hercules faith should mirror that of the wild whereby a more powerful lion comes in, fights him to the death kills all the cubs in the pride then sets about giving Bella a good seeing too for a few weeks thus allowing a stronger gene pool to take over long term. 
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: cheltenhamlion on April 18, 2012, 06:00:30 PM
We should try that down the Blues.
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Fergal on April 18, 2012, 06:50:58 PM
Bella? I would...

Certainly got her figure back quick after the arrival of Chip.

However, I do worry that underneath that curvy costume is a hairy bloke called Terry
So long as the suit stays on and she bends over...
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: mikeb1982 on April 18, 2012, 07:18:34 PM
What happens if, after this orgy of Hercules torture, he morphs into Lion-O and kills us all? Perhaps we should just leave well alone
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Fergal on April 19, 2012, 08:37:19 AM
What happens if, after this orgy of Hercules torture, he morphs into Lion-O and kills us all? Perhaps we should just leave well alone
We can call for She-Ra
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: MarkM on April 19, 2012, 09:22:34 AM
Has anyone noticed that the more we see of Hurcules the less we see of Mr Lerner???

Are they the same person??????
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Pat McMahon on April 19, 2012, 03:11:22 PM
Hercucun...

...you get the idea.

I'm surprised Randy has'nt tried poaching Beau Brummie.

Could we afford the compensation?
Title: Re: The Future of Hercules
Post by: Holy Trinity on April 19, 2012, 03:14:23 PM
get the bird in who got her bangers out, as keith lemon would say bang tidy
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