Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Fergal on March 26, 2012, 07:17:43 PM
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Is it just me who has been battered with Heskey jokes today?
It was a very windy day and Emile Heskey had one of his shots blown on target.
Next time Emile Heskey scores he will pull his shirt off to reveal a T-shirt with the slogan ' Free the Chilean Miners'
ETC...
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I think that Emile Heskey could have played better on Saturday if he spent more time training and less time endorsing Premier Inn.
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I think that Emile Heskey could have played better on Saturday if he spent more time training and less time endorsing Premier Inn.
Brilliant.
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I actually feel sorry for him.
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I actually feel sorry for him.
Yeah i feel sorry for the multi millionaire Heskey too ;)
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So, Roberto Di Matteo rings Big 'Eck to discuss a possible straight swap deal, Cole for Heskey.
"Sure", replies 'Eck, "how many sacks?"........
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How many Heskeys does it take to change a light bulb?
We'll never know, the c.unt's just trod on the fucking box.
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I actually feel sorry for him.
Yeah i feel sorry for the multi millionaire Heskey too ;)
The money's great, sure - but it must only come as a consolation when you sit down at the end of the day and realise you're nothing more than a novelty, shit at what you do, and the butt of every joke from the worlds most popular sport.
But enough about McLeish...
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I saw Emile Heskey practising the other day. He put the ball in the net with every shot.
Mind you, he was playing tennis at the time!
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Apparently Fabrice Muamba can recognise family and is able to sit up in bed. McLeish is looking for a swap deal with Heskey.
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That joke isn't funny anymore.
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Emile Heskey gets paid 70K a week....now that's got to be a joke, hasn't it?
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I like Emile. Admittedly his time as a first teamer should be over now, but I still like him. I also wish I was him, I also bet the vast majority who seem to relish in taking the piss out of him would swap lives with him in a second.
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He comes across as a nice fella but he has both a wayward shot and an even more wayward willy if reports are to be believed so it's a no from me.
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I dunno. A multi millionaire, spent his life playing football, played at major tournaments for his country, won a few trophies, played for Villa and scored in front of the Holte End. I'd settle for that.
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at the end of the day, he's still one of us. He's never said a bad word about the club, or the fans, or the city. He's done as the club have asked, especially off the pitch, even though he is very limited in what he offers on it. When he came onto the scene with Leicester he was one of the most exciting young talents in English football. Irrespective of how we see him now, he's still been selected by some very good football managers and heralded by some very good players that all saw something in what he has offered over the years.
Do I feel sorry for him. Not at all. He's had a career and life that most of us would dream of. But quite frankly when we join in the Heskey bashing then it just gets a bit old and tired. Leave that for other fans or for when he joins someone else.
I've said before, I'll be glad when he's gone just so we never have to discuss him again as a Villa player.
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Why did the Heskey cross the road?
To get away from Suarez.
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McSheesh has told the Villa players to protect themselves from The Tumbling Bear by disguising themselves as goal posts.
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Difficult to feel sorry for a multi millionaire with a dream lifestyle, but I think he gets some unfair stick. I think he's ok in a front 2 in a 4-4-2 set up, with a faster guy playing off him (e.g. when paired with Owen for England)but hardly anyone plays that formation any more. Plus he's got older, slower and even more breakable, so not really much use.
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Why did the Heskey cross the road?
To get away from Suarez.
Made me laugh.
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Heskey for England.
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I have nothing against the man at the end of the day he his one of us but I just think we need to see another option other than starting with Heskey.
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I don't like joking about our own players much. Its hardly his fault he gets picked. Would Villa fans rather he does a "Tevez"?
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I don't like joking about our own players much. Its hardly his fault he gets picked. Would Villa fans rather he does a "Tevez"?
YES PLEASE! I'll take 43 goals in 70 games before he fucks off to play golf in Argentina for a few months.
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Yes but Heskey started instead of Weinmann on Saturday and that is no joke!
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Saw the thread title and thought Emile had started his new career as a stand up.
It's already been said, he's one of us so the time for jokes will be when he's no longer with us.
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Saw the thread title and thought Emile had started his new career as a stand up.
He can't. Stand up that is...
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He's been spending too much time working for the CIA in "Homeland"
(http://images1.variety.com/graphics/photos/_specials_arts/TVFaces_David-Harewood.jpg)
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Here's a joke for you...
http://www.teamtalk.com/aston-villa/7636596/Agbonlahor-backing-Heskey-deal (http://www.teamtalk.com/aston-villa/7636596/Agbonlahor-backing-Heskey-deal)
Gabriel Agbonlahor hopes Aston Villa will offer fellow striker Emile Heskey a new deal when his current contract runs out this summer.
Heskey has been at Villa for the past three and a half seasons and has been linked with a return to his first professional club Leicester.
Villa assistant boss Peter Grant has intimated talks with Heskey and any other out-of-contract player have been put on hold until the summer but Agbonlahor hopes the former England player can remain.
He said: "I would like Emile to stay. I think everyone would. He has great experience and still has great qualities.
"It's not my decision but I would definitely like Emile to stay. He has done a great job when he has come in.
"Emile is really dedicated with the way he trains and is respected for what he has done in the game and we are still learning off him.
"Do I think he will stay? It's hard to say. We'll just have to wait and see."
Heskey was restored to the Villa starting line-up for last weekend's Premier League clash at Arsenal.
With Darren Bent sidelined for the rest of the season, he is likely to have an important role to play.
But Villa boss Alex McLeish has admitted he still has to bring down the wage bill and Heskey is believed to be one of Villa's highest earners.
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What are these qualities that his fellow professionals always go on about?
He's an absolute liability.
Had a run of 4 or 5 good games under Houllier and that's it.
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Here's a joke for you...
http://www.teamtalk.com/aston-villa/7636596/Agbonlahor-backing-Heskey-deal (http://www.teamtalk.com/aston-villa/7636596/Agbonlahor-backing-Heskey-deal)
Gabriel Agbonlahor hopes Aston Villa will offer fellow striker Emile Heskey a new deal when his current contract runs out this summer.
Heskey has been at Villa for the past three and a half seasons and has been linked with a return to his first professional club Leicester.
Villa assistant boss Peter Grant has intimated talks with Heskey and any other out-of-contract player have been put on hold until the summer but Agbonlahor hopes the former England player can remain.
He said: "I would like Emile to stay. I think everyone would. He has great experience and still has great qualities.
"It's not my decision but I would definitely like Emile to stay. He has done a great job when he has come in.
"Emile is really dedicated with the way he trains and is respected for what he has done in the game and we are still learning off him.
"Do I think he will stay? It's hard to say. We'll just have to wait and see."
Heskey was restored to the Villa starting line-up for last weekend's Premier League clash at Arsenal.
With Darren Bent sidelined for the rest of the season, he is likely to have an important role to play.
But Villa boss Alex McLeish has admitted he still has to bring down the wage bill and Heskey is believed to be one of Villa's highest earners.
now that is NOT funny >:(
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Here's a joke for you...
http://www.teamtalk.com/aston-villa/7636596/Agbonlahor-backing-Heskey-deal (http://www.teamtalk.com/aston-villa/7636596/Agbonlahor-backing-Heskey-deal)
Gabriel Agbonlahor hopes Aston Villa will offer fellow striker Emile Heskey a new deal when his current contract runs out this summer.
Heskey has been at Villa for the past three and a half seasons and has been linked with a return to his first professional club Leicester.
Villa assistant boss Peter Grant has intimated talks with Heskey and any other out-of-contract player have been put on hold until the summer but Agbonlahor hopes the former England player can remain.
He said: "I would like Emile to stay. I think everyone would. He has great experience and still has great qualities.
"It's not my decision but I would definitely like Emile to stay. He has done a great job when he has come in.
"Emile is really dedicated with the way he trains and is respected for what he has done in the game and we are still learning off him.
"Do I think he will stay? It's hard to say. We'll just have to wait and see."
Heskey was restored to the Villa starting line-up for last weekend's Premier League clash at Arsenal.
With Darren Bent sidelined for the rest of the season, he is likely to have an important role to play.
But Villa boss Alex McLeish has admitted he still has to bring down the wage bill and Heskey is believed to be one of Villa's highest earners.
now that is NOT funny >:(
Hopefully thats just a case of 'I can't very well say he's shit because he'll fall on me' type of statement.
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ffs
"I would like Emile to stay. I think everyone would. He has great experience and still has great qualities.
He has done a great job when he has come in.
hes thicker than he looks
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Gabby probably thinks: "FFS, I hope this clown McLeish doesn't give him a new contract. I finally get the chance to play in my best position and he picks that lumbering oaf. It's bad enough that I don't get a sniff at centre-forward when Bent's fit. Okay, he scores a few more than me (usually when I set him up for tap-ins), but he does fuck all else but give the fucking ball away. I wouldn't mind but we don't get it very often. I'd love to see how many he'd score or set up if he was stuck on the wing two-yards in front of that muppet Warnock. In fact, fuck it, I'm out of here".
But if you think he should say that, you're thicker than your post suggests.
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well I suppose it makes a change from saying ' I cant wait for this season to be over '
just wish they would keep their mouths shut sometimes.
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Fair enough, but they get wheeled out to face the press, or our website people, who then ask questions like 'do you think Heskey should get a new contract, and I don't mean off a hit-man'?
If he said 'no comment' that would be pretty damning too.
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It'll be lovely if we could hold off on slagging any of our players today. Just for today.
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OSjobsworth : Hi gabby, it's Jack - I need some quotes for the club's website
Gabby : Who?
OSjobsworth : Do you think Emile should get a new contract?
Gabby : Who?
OSjobsworth : "Gabriel Agbonlahor hopes Aston Villa will offer fellow striker Emile Heskey a new ....."
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It'll be lovely if we could hold off on slagging any of our players today. Just for today.
Gallows humour I think...