Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Louzie0 on November 24, 2011, 07:23:14 PM

Title: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Louzie0 on November 24, 2011, 07:23:14 PM: Just a tinselly-sparkling thread to get away from the direness and gloom of other parts of this board...for about 3 posts?

R. Dunne ....naughty or nice? This season, nice, so a pie.

G. Agbonlahor...always nice, so a midfielder who passes to him with pinpoint precision and defenders who fall over in awe at his skills. Or another pair of boots, perhaps in green.

A.McLeish...nice, so a Roy Of The Rovers annual and a new set of coloured pens for the flip chart.

Villa Ladies....nice, so smellies - girls like those.

Wee Barry...nice until proved naughty so a copy of the Highway code and socks.

I'm looking through the letters and I'm struggling to find someone who's been naughty...
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Legion on November 24, 2011, 07:43:54 PM: Alex McLeish.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Louzie0 on November 24, 2011, 07:51:15 PM: ok, naughty against spurs but on balance we're still eighth so...the annual and the pens are still in the stocking. For now.
(Gosh, not even 3 posts...)
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Legion on November 24, 2011, 07:53:28 PM: Shay Given: nice, so a runners-up medal for Euro2012.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: PeterWithesShin on November 24, 2011, 08:06:52 PM: Randy: Naughty, so he gets a Villa season ticket.

Gabby: Nice, Karma Sutra and 1000 boxes of condoms.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Chipsticks on November 24, 2011, 09:00:54 PM: Quote from: PeterWithesShin on November 24, 2011, 08:06:52 PM
Gabby: Nice, Karma Sutra and 1000 boxes of condoms.

Crackin' image I've got in my head now, cheers mate.

ಠ_ಠ

Also, I'd give a big fat lump of 'effort' for Stephen Ireland, some heading ability to Warnock, and a peach of a first goal for N'Zogbia.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Zhong Yi on November 25, 2011, 03:10:35 AM: and don't forget to send Steward Downing a box of mincer pies
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Simba on November 25, 2011, 10:40:18 AM: Daren Bent - Binoculars. So he can see what the midfield are doing.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Simba on November 25, 2011, 10:45:21 AM: Alex McLeish - Charlie Buchans Football Annual 1963. So he can begin to catch up on modern tactical team formations.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: VillaAlways on November 25, 2011, 10:45:57 AM: Quote from: Simba on November 25, 2011, 10:40:18 AM
Daren Bent - Binoculars. So he can see what the midfield are doing.
Chortle
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle on November 25, 2011, 10:48:30 AM: The crowd: attractive, attacking football and an FA Cup final win.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Simba on November 25, 2011, 10:53:10 AM: Randy Lerner - A Manager.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: midnite on November 25, 2011, 11:03:51 AM: Darren bent, nice - two friendship bracelets. He can give one to gabby so they can be football friends for ever and ever and ever and score many goals together for many seasons to come at VP
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Vanilla on November 25, 2011, 03:19:54 PM: Quote from: midnite on November 25, 2011, 11:03:51 AM
Darren bent, nice - two friendship bracelets. He can give one to gabby so they can be football friends for ever and ever and ever and score many goals together for many seasons to come at VP

I think Darren is contacting Santa as we speak to clarify what he meant by 'a club going places', in his wish list last Christmas.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: TheSandman on November 25, 2011, 03:24:09 PM: Warnock and Collins: A Tom-Tom Sat-Nav... Might sort out their diabolical positioning.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Rudy Can't Fail on November 25, 2011, 03:49:07 PM: A pocket compass for Alan Hutton. The amount of times I've seen him just stand there looking around like he's just been beamed down to another planet, Star Trek style, the compass should come in handy.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: midnite on November 25, 2011, 04:15:45 PM: Quote from: TheZogman on November 25, 2011, 03:24:09 PM
Warnock and Collins: A Tom-Tom Sat-Nav... Might sort out their diabolical positioning.

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Love it
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: paul_e on November 25, 2011, 04:43:22 PM: Emile Heskey - A weeble to teach him how to not fall down

Habib Beye - A P45
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: cheltenhamlion on November 25, 2011, 06:55:29 PM: Gary Gardner - A peg for his nose being stuck in that shithole for Christmas.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: VillaAlways on November 25, 2011, 07:10:49 PM: Barry Bannan- A bus pass
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Louzie0 on November 25, 2011, 07:17:49 PM: Quote from: ZoggyAlways on November 25, 2011, 07:10:49 PM
Barry Bannan- A bus pass

*giggles*
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Louzie0 on November 25, 2011, 07:32:51 PM: Kevin McDonald --the NextGen Cup
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: eamonn on November 25, 2011, 11:20:21 PM: MarkyMarc - Good (for the start of the year, disappointing afterwards). A Barry Manilow CD so he can perfect his tribute act singing to himself while he's on the bench.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: The Laughing Policeman on November 26, 2011, 11:15:00 AM: The Holte End......Something to sing about.
Emile Heskey, something that could double up as a retirement present.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: The Left Side on November 28, 2011, 12:04:25 AM: Villa fans everywhere deserve to be treated to great passing on the floor, after all we have been good boys and girls this year!
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: mr woo on November 28, 2011, 09:17:25 AM: If I were Santa I wouldn't give McLeish any presents. I'd wait until they were all gone and then I.d give him the sack.

Boom Boom.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: The Laughing Policeman on November 28, 2011, 09:42:02 AM: Alan Hutton, a week with Steve Staunton so that he can learn the art of tackling without the threat of him possibly ending some poor sods career.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Steve R on November 30, 2011, 07:59:24 AM: congrats to Lou on finding something interesting to talk about amidst all the crap and derision that seem to follow every other thread around. Excellent work.

Shay Given - has reached a certain age where all he gets is is the same standard no thought/no effort stuff he got last year. A ridiculously garish jumper that he wouldn't be seen dead in but still has to wear at least once a week.

James Collins - A comedy ginger wig to hide that shining dome, lest his boss forgets why he puts him in the team every week.

Emile Heskey - Absolutely nothing. He gets lampooned every other day of the year, so let the poor sod have this day off.

Chris smith - Beatification .... St. Jude already made it in your preferred pastime and I can't see you getting a sainthood by any other means.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Steve R on November 30, 2011, 08:05:40 AM: oh .. and risso - a pocket calculator with a display so large that if you type in a certain combination of numbers and hold it upside down it appears to read 'sPurs r craPPer tHan us'
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Steve R on November 30, 2011, 08:16:30 AM: .. and General Krulak - a copy of Norton Antivirus & Firewall 2012. Ever since THAT windows update, the version he currently uses has blocked everything he types.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Louzie0 on November 30, 2011, 02:15:02 PM: To Steve and all the villa boys and girls on this site who still have N'Z somewhere in our names...CNZ to justify our faith!...a goal or two would be nice. Assists, excellent. Anything, really...
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Dave Clark Five on November 30, 2011, 04:19:37 PM: Quote from: The Sound of Villadelphia on November 25, 2011, 03:49:07 PM
A pocket compass
One Compass is enough thanks, regardless of size.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: Astral Weeks on November 30, 2011, 05:51:30 PM: I'd give presents with a Wizard of Oz theme.

Alan Hutton - a brain
Emile Heskey - a heart
Alex McLeish - courage, to go against his nature, make some changes and start getting the team to play some bloody football.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: charlie on November 30, 2011, 05:55:46 PM: A new manager.
£100m to spend on players.
A coup d'etat in whatever Arab country Man City's owners own.
Retirement clocks for..............................[feel free to nominate].
Blatter fired.
Title: Re: 50% villa:If you were Santa, what would you bring our Villa boys (and girls)?
Post by: dishy on December 01, 2011, 09:44:49 PM: i would give them some tactic's, the orange and lime ones are the best.