Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine
Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Legion on September 23, 2011, 08:56:16 PM
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Employ a secret weapon (http://themondaysupplement.co.uk/football-clubs/aston-villa/aston-villa-unveil-secret-weapon-for-qpr-game)
Aston Villa have been granted FA permission to field a remote-controlled mannequin wearing an Alice band as a twelfth man on Sunday, in a desperate attempt to distract Joey Barton from harming living players.
Villa boss Alec Mcleish explained his decision, “Some might be surprised, but I think it’s the least that could be done considering the circumstances.
“Stilian Petrov is a key player for us, and I don’t want him to spend most of the match trying to work out why Joey keeps calling him a ‘mug’ or a ‘numptie’ that’s assuming Petrov even knows what those things are.”
English referees’ chief Mike Riley justified the decision by explaining that giving Villa an extra man was no more generous than allowing Barton to still get near a football pitch.
“Many are going to question the fairness of it, but Twitter users at least will understand why we’ve made this call, and word will hopefully spread from them – as everything else seems to these days.
“It will be fascinating to see just how irate Barton will become with an inanimate opponent incapable of provoking him.
“However we’re not taking any chances, the mannequin has signed an insurance waiver and there’s a stab proof vest just in case things get out of hand” said Riley.
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The mannequin would be our best player.
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The mannequin would be our best player.
Nah, it sounds like Patrick Berger is back on a one game loan deal...
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Stephen Ireland will be sent of on sunday after being wound up by Barton.
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Stephen Ireland will be sent of on sunday after being wound up by Barton.
Stephen Ireland in "showing passion" shocker ? Hmmmm. I doubt it.
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Collins will sort Barton out.
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Come on Collins, just hoof him into row Z first tackle. You know it makes sense.
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NRC could've crunched him a a couple times and he had the legs to pace him for 90 but now we've got a bit of a predicament. I think we can only hope to contain him and maybe we'll see a nasty side of N'Zogbia or a defender to bring him back to reality. If we actually put forth an offensive effort on Sunday he'll have to focus more and defending then getting forward.. but we can only hope.
I'm not worried about Barton.
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Make him show his true colours and get himself sent off. Simples.
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Make him show his true colours and get himself sent off. Simples.
That is the problem, he doesn't show his true colours.
Just like Lilly Savage didn't to Dion Dublin.
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Hello, Villains. QPR fan here (in peace of course). Here's a little pre-match piece from my point of view. It name checks your forum...
http://thisismyengland.blogspot.com/2011/09/mind-expectation-gap.html
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Just hide his Brylcream before the game and he'll never leave the changing room. Failing that the Collins Row Z option is the best bet.
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Offer him a cigar
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Run round quoting Nietzsche at him
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On a more serious note the below interview just depresses me. What a load of hogwash.
ALEX McLeish admits he is an admirer of Joey Barton – but insists the QPR ‘character’ was never on his Villa radar this summer.
Villa will come up against one of modern football’s most controverisal and colourful players at Loftus Road tomorrow afternoon.
Barton has been in fine form since Neil Warnock gave him the captain’s armband following his free transfer from Newcastle last month.
McLeish has found Barton’s much publicised Twitter ramblings “entertaining”, but is keen for Villa to keep the midfielder quiet on the pitch.
“I’ve thought about Joey a few times, I’ve just never really had the right moment to get him, so there’s no doubt I’m an admirer,” said McLeish.
“But no we never approached the agents for Joey because we were looking at different positions.
“Joey’s never been in finer form. He’s obviously been a bit of a character as well over these past few months with his Twitter and whatever it is he’s been doing. “It’s good entertainment, but hopefully he’s not entertaining at the weekend and we can keep him quiet.”
Read More http://www.birminghammail.net/birmingham-sport/aston-villa-fc/aston-villa-news/2011/09/24/revealed-why-aston-villa-never-tried-to-sign-joey-barton-in-the-summer-97319-29480530/#ixzz1Ys7XyIH1
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Just close him down and don't give him any opportunity to express himself.
I'm of course talking about his Twitter account.
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Well, if we play anything like the powder-puff midfield that turned out on Tuesday, we'll get bleedin' mullered. Where's Jenas when we need him? We could do with Clark stiffening up the midfield. And don't play two wingers.
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Hello, Villains. QPR fan here (in peace of course). Here's a little pre-match piece from my point of view. It name checks your forum...
http://thisismyengland.blogspot.com/2011/09/mind-expectation-gap.html
Very good, I think it shows the gap in optimism more than anything, we have none, you are new to all this and have loads.
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Stephen Ireland will be sent of on sunday after being wound up by Barton.
Stephen Ireland will get on all 4's and let Joey Barton go for entry level for fear of offending him.
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Of course there is only one way to deal with Mr Barton, and that's to put him in the very capable hands of our Gabby Agbonlahor
aka Vin Diesel in his other profession.
The bloke with the Goatee is Barton as he's always got something on his face...