Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: sonlyme on September 01, 2011, 04:03:17 PM

Title: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: sonlyme on September 01, 2011, 04:03:17 PM
It is 3am.  I am sitting at home all alone – work is 36 hours away – my lad is away camping.  My gonads are freshly emptied (thank you Mrs Simpson), I have been fed, and there is nothing on telly, so my mind has turned to the inevitable - AstonVilla and the transfer window.


(http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2011/09/01/article-2032409-0DA7D65B00000578-184_468x286.jpg)



And after reading all the recycled copy and the endless comments on what the club – Misters McLeish or Lerner, have or have not done – I am troubled by a singular question. What is it with the internet and Villa fans?

Now I can’t say that our bit of last minute transfer window has me sporting a fine erection either, but neither am I contemplating vaulting off the nearest tall building.
 
My own personal opinion of the merits of our new players aside – what has struck me lies not in the bland media reportage (why do players always ‘hail’ colleagues and ‘eye’ opportunities?) no, what has struck me are the comments underneath these bland reports.

Page upon page of ‘woe is me’ and ‘the sky is falling’ coming from the internet Villans.

Here’s a sample of Villa fans on our final business.


Really... What are they going to offer that we dont/didnt have!! 2 rubbish purchases!! i for one am not happy
Calbeanie


Well a lot of us aint happy about the whole outa pocket scenario we find ourselves in with a depleted squad but to be honest beggers cant be choosers as they say :l
ClivetheVillan


absolute rubbish why has it taken till the last few hours to sign 2 players, since l young and makoun both went on friday and saturday, panic buying at its worse i really think lerner is going to sell up very soon?
banksie



FFS, we really are a laughing stock. More rejects from teams that we were on a par with a few years ago. There's NO marmite, he's just very average who makes more mistakes than chances.
Villan444



Now I don’t want to get into an argument about the worth of the individual players involved here.  I am interested in the reactions to these transfers.  And what I am seeing is a disconnect - a 180 degree difference in how the two sets of fans (on the internet) are reacting.


Here’s some Spurs fans reacting in the Daily Mail


Two players who Redknapp did not give a fair run to, If Jenas plays then I agree he will be instrumental in the midfield, good engine hard worker box to box player, what Tottenham dont now have! And Hutton he looks good going forward as he showed last season when he scored a couple, I'd try him as a right mid / winger, he could be like Gareth Bale, quality crosser of the ball. Our loss your gain, If Redknapp don't like you then your out !

- Mike, Bromley, 01/9/2011 13:00

Jenas is a great signing for Villa. Vastly under rated at Spurs, he'll be back in the England squad by the end of the season with a full season under his belt. Good luck JJ, hopefully you'll get the first team starts you deserve.

- Tony, London, 01/9/2011 08:50

With the money they made at the sales they should have given spurs 8 million and get Jenas on a permanent 4 year deal. He is a good young player and will improve given time on the pitch.

- Tony Blaire, Godalming, 01/9/2011 05:41


Does anyone else notice a distinct difference in the two reactions.

Now I’m not saying these signings will be a success or a failure – I’ll leave that to Mystic Meg and the twats on TalkSport – what I am saying is that 'internet' Villa fans do appear to be significantly more miserable than the average premiership fan.

Is it the Villa?  Or is it the internet?  Or is it the fact that Habib didn't go to Hull after all?  If it's the latter - I'll let it lie, as I am considerably more miserable that yow!

UTV
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: adrenachrome on September 01, 2011, 04:21:22 PM
Much of our fan base is carrying heavy shopping which is causing shoulders to droop. It must be conceded that events at B6 are doing little to lighten their onerous burden.  If anything, lead bricks are gleefully being added to the load.






Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: eastie on September 01, 2011, 04:21:49 PM
seems to me you have picked the bad villa comments and the good spurs comments -hardly a cross section of opinion, many spus fans dont rate jenas and hutton and many do but you only show the good comments-similar to many fans who have still support for randy but you only show his critics comments-pointless exercise really unless you show a cross section of views rather than what you want people to see.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Brend'Watkins on September 01, 2011, 04:30:56 PM
The answer is simple...

Some of us are getting fed and our Gonads regularly emptied.... as you have put it and, some who might use the internet aren't.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Dave Cooper please on September 01, 2011, 05:19:53 PM
Oh come on, surely everyone who uses the internet regularly empties their gonads?
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: villadelph on September 01, 2011, 06:20:56 PM
Jenas will come good. I can see him getting into the England squad within the next two months, it's just the way Villa works.. we turn seemingly average talents into internationals. I still can't get over the fact he's 29, still a kid to me.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Shrek on September 01, 2011, 06:25:03 PM
Jenas will come good. I can see him getting into the England squad within the next two months, it's just the way Villa works.. we turn seemingly average talents into internationals. I still can't get over the fact he's 29, still a kid to me.

Your not Jermaine Jenas are you?
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: villadelph on September 01, 2011, 06:29:09 PM
Jenas will come good. I can see him getting into the England squad within the next two months, it's just the way Villa works.. we turn seemingly average talents into internationals. I still can't get over the fact he's 29, still a kid to me.

Your not Jermaine Jenas are you?

Ha, surely not. I've browsed H&V for so long but I've only ever been involved on VT.. I figured it was time to expand.

He'll do well.. he needs a new challenge and a new manager to impress.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: The Man With A Stick on September 01, 2011, 06:48:04 PM
Today is my last day at work for just over two weeks.  That's good enough for me.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Risso on September 01, 2011, 07:01:16 PM
Jenas will come good. I can see him getting into the England squad within the next two months, it's just the way Villa works.. we turn seemingly average talents into internationals.

Er, like who?  We've had some very good players recently like Barry, Milner and Young who have rightly gone onto play regularly for England, but some very average players like Sidwell, NRC and Knight who haven't.  Can't think of many average players who have gone on to blossom at Villa after signing.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: villadelph on September 01, 2011, 07:09:17 PM
Jenas will come good. I can see him getting into the England squad within the next two months, it's just the way Villa works.. we turn seemingly average talents into internationals.

Er, like who?  We've had some very good players recently like Barry, Milner and Young who have rightly gone onto play regularly for England, but some very average players like Sidwell, NRC and Knight who haven't.  Can't think of many average players who have gone on to blossom at Villa after signing.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, that if Jenas had come to Villa at a young age like Milner, Young or Downing then his England future would have been much different. For some reason, our club has an ability to polish young and somewhat unsettled players into international gems. Jenas's promise in 2003/2004 was arguably higher than that of Young, Downing and Milner. We will see, but I think Jenas will get a call up by December.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Risso on September 01, 2011, 07:13:07 PM
So what you meant to say is that we took good young players, and made them better, which I'd agree with.  Can't think of many turds we've polished.  And I can't see Jenas ever getting in the England squad again, he's hardly played for Spurs in the last two years and it's a good 7 years since he was a promising youngster.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Vanilla on September 01, 2011, 07:52:14 PM
It's funny when you think, if you swap the name Jenas in the quotes from Spurs fans for Makoun, they would match completely what Villa fans think of his departure. 
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: GJH on September 01, 2011, 08:03:09 PM
If Jenas and Hutton were any good then why have spurs let them go?
Hutton is a decent player but Jenas? If he stays fit maybe, but the kid has got glass legs!
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: villadelph on September 01, 2011, 08:12:19 PM
Harry takes talent for granted, there's no doubt about that. He will leave impact players on the bench and not think twice.

Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: eamonn on September 01, 2011, 08:15:48 PM

Now I can’t say that our bit of last minute transfer window has me sporting a fine erection either,

Don't be greedy, you've just been serviced by Mrs Simpson.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: PONGO49 on September 01, 2011, 08:20:05 PM
If Jenas and Hutton were any good then why have spurs let them go?
Hutton is a decent player but Jenas? If he stays fit maybe, but the kid has got glass legs!

spurs are a top 6 club, were just a 'run of the mill' club (mid-tableish), these both player are average prem players, we are an average prem team,

give the guys a chance and by christmas they do no good, then be negative about them. they haven't even kicked a ball in angere yet and they are already being treated like petrov...
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Dave on September 01, 2011, 08:27:35 PM
My gonads are freshly emptied (thank you Mrs Simpson)

Is she still going?

(http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38750000/jpg/_38750511_wallisap300.jpg)
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Vanilla on September 01, 2011, 08:40:30 PM
My gonads are freshly emptied (thank you Mrs Simpson)

Is she still going?

(http://newsimg.bbc.co.uk/media/images/38750000/jpg/_38750511_wallisap300.jpg)

This one is:

http://www.makeyousmile.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/19.png
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Villanation on September 01, 2011, 09:01:30 PM
@sonlyme:

Firstly let me commend you on your superb layout and design of your post, which has been a pleasure to read, may I also take this opportunity of showing my appreciation both to yourself and of course to Mrs Simpson for her diligent service in both the hard work and steadfast resolute manner in which she has dutifully relieved your ball bag and thus putting you in such a frame of mind to put such worthy chapter and verse together, be in no doubt the value of a Mrs Simpson that carries out such maintenance as opposed to the usual "not tonight I've got a headache" mode that is oh so common in today's society leaving many a Villa fan with a mental picture of Carol Vordaman and her comely breasts to make do.

With reference to your quandary regarding the cross section of views from both Villa fans and Spurs fans regarding the said players.

Have you seriously ever ever known football fans to be any different, and seriously have you ever known Villa fans not to moan, its a birthright, and quite right to.

I Thang yow...........

Yours Sincerely

Villanation...PHD, HRH and an all round bounder.

Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Legion on September 01, 2011, 09:07:30 PM
Are they loan signings or the full monty?
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Risso on September 01, 2011, 09:15:07 PM
leaving many a Villa fan with a mental picture of Carol Vordaman and her comely breasts to make do.

That's not the mental picture most of us on here have of her, thanks to that scoundrel Chico Hamilton.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: brian green on September 01, 2011, 09:41:47 PM
Is that brooch one of the ones which somehow started out belonging to the nation and ended up belonging to Wallis Simpson?
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Louzie0 on September 01, 2011, 09:57:31 PM
Reply to op -

Love the lads we have got in.
Beye - well, I contributed to 'Habib Beye is wonderful' so I can't comment otherwise.
Otherwise I think you're on track. UTV!
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: sonlyme on September 01, 2011, 10:42:35 PM
Gentlemen I thank you all.  Thankfully my Mrs S resembles neither suggestion - then again neither does she resemble young Jessica, alas.


(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bJR-kSjgByk/TZHdna081pI/AAAAAAAAAEc/sxjabUYlC7I/s1600/jessica%2Bsimpson%2Bnipple%2Bslip%2Bwhile%2Bslapping%2Blady%2Bgaga.jpg)


Though If we are to get distracted by animated lust I must confess a cartoonish hankering for Lois Griffin.


(http://www.deviantart.com/download/150620787/Smexy_Lois_Griffin_by_cutiekat1600.jpg)


My conclusion on the OP - tis the tinternet - a magnet for malcontents and the socially inept.

And for those seeking more self flagellation and woe mongering may I present - Bulgaria v England.

A fine if backward country that boasts a wide selection of mature and inexpensive tarts - could this be behind Wayne Rooney's comment 'I am in a happy place both on and off the pitch'?  Shame they banned phone hacking really.

Still - it could be worse - we could be Evertonians or some other form of bluenose.

UTV
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Big Dick Edwards on September 01, 2011, 10:59:01 PM
If Jenas and Hutton were any good then why have spurs let them go?

Well, they let Bent go...
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Vanilla on September 01, 2011, 11:02:42 PM
Gentlemen I thank you all.  Thankfully my Mrs S resembles neither suggestion - then again neither does she resemble young Jessica, alas.


(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-bJR-kSjgByk/TZHdna081pI/AAAAAAAAAEc/sxjabUYlC7I/s1600/jessica%2Bsimpson%2Bnipple%2Bslip%2Bwhile%2Bslapping%2Blady%2Bgaga.jpg)


Though If we are to get distracted by animated lust I must confess a cartoonish hankering for Lois Griffin.


(http://www.deviantart.com/download/150620787/Smexy_Lois_Griffin_by_cutiekat1600.jpg)


My conclusion on the OP - tis the tinternet - a magnet for malcontents and the socially inept.

And for those seeking more self flagellation and woe mongering may I present - Bulgaria v England.

A fine if backward country that boasts a wide selection of mature and inexpensive tarts - could this be behind Wayne Rooney's comment 'I am in a happy place both on and off the pitch'?  Shame they banned phone hacking really.

Still - it could be worse - we could be Evertonians or some other form of bluenose.

UTV

I like a couple of big guns up front, but I thought we were going 4-5-1.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Surrey Villain on September 01, 2011, 11:37:36 PM
Oh come on, surely everyone who uses the internet regularly empties their gonads?
Do they type one-handed then?
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: villadelph on September 01, 2011, 11:47:56 PM
Isn't Jessica Simpson borderline obese at the moment?
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Dave Cooper please on September 01, 2011, 11:49:14 PM
Oh come on, surely everyone who uses the internet regularly empties their gonads?
Do they type one-handed then?

Who types when they are wanking?
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Dante Lavelli on September 02, 2011, 07:35:05 AM
So to conclude, the current reasons for being cheerful are wanking and cartoons?
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: not3bad on September 02, 2011, 09:27:20 AM
I'm off on holiday tomorrow.  A week of Sun, sea and swimming in Majorca!  I'm cheerful!
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: The Laughing Policeman on September 02, 2011, 10:17:54 AM
Four weeks ago I met my older sister for the first time. (Me 65, She 68). We didn't even know she existed six months ago.
It's a long story and nothing to do with football. But it has made me very cheerful indeed.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Concrete John on September 02, 2011, 10:20:47 AM
So to conclude, the current reasons for being cheerful are wanking and cartoons?

I'm about to move in with my girlfriend and am genuinely concerned about where I can fit these two essentials in from now on.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Archbishop Herbert Cockthrottle on September 02, 2011, 10:28:57 AM
I'm confused but happy.
Does that help?


(http://www.thesimpsons.com/bios/images/bios_family_marge.gif)
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Olneythelonely on September 02, 2011, 11:53:49 AM
Oh come on, surely everyone who uses the internet regularly empties their gonads?
Do they type one-handed then?

Who types when they are wanking?

Soapy tit wank doesn't type itself.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: K3Villa on September 02, 2011, 11:55:40 AM
Four weeks ago I met my older sister for the first time. (Me 65, She 68). We didn't even know she existed six months ago.
It's a long story and nothing to do with football. But it has made me very cheerful indeed.

Congrats! Hope all goes well.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: K3Villa on September 02, 2011, 11:57:18 AM
Oh come on, surely everyone who uses the internet regularly empties their gonads?
Do they type one-handed then?

Who types when they are wanking?

Soapy tit wank doesn't type itself.

Soapy Titchmarsh
Alan Titwank.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: pauliewalnuts on September 02, 2011, 12:05:36 PM
Four weeks ago I met my older sister for the first time. (Me 65, She 68). We didn't even know she existed six months ago.
It's a long story and nothing to do with football. But it has made me very cheerful indeed.

What a nce story.

Shows that lots of things are far, far more important than football.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Chris Smith on September 02, 2011, 12:27:18 PM
Am I reading this correctly, a number you are happy because you're emptying your gonads on your food?
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: SoccerHQ on September 02, 2011, 12:38:38 PM
Jenas will be another Sidwell imo. Goal threat from midfield but little else.

More looking forward to McLeish working with Hutton, coaxed the best out of him playing for Rangers and Scotland.

Oh and at least we're not Everton.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Simba on September 02, 2011, 01:06:28 PM
Four weeks ago I met my older sister for the first time. (Me 65, She 68). We didn't even know she existed six months ago.
It's a long story and nothing to do with football. But it has made me very cheerful indeed.

Bloody brilliant! Slightly out of context it is true. But fantastic story.
Erm - is her name - Simpson?

Congrats! Hope all goes well.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Surrey Villain on September 02, 2011, 03:04:48 PM
So to conclude, the current reasons for being cheerful are wanking and cartoons?

I'm about to move in with my girlfriend and am genuinely concerned about where I can fit these two essentials in from now on.

Hopefully you will only still have a need to watch cartoons!
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: not3bad on September 02, 2011, 03:29:54 PM
So to conclude, the current reasons for being cheerful are wanking and cartoons?

I'm about to move in with my girlfriend and am genuinely concerned about where I can fit these two essentials in from now on.

Hopefully you will only still have a need to watch cartoons!

... because your gonads will be empty.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Risso on September 02, 2011, 03:34:40 PM
Four weeks ago I met my older sister for the first time. (Me 65, She 68). We didn't even know she existed six months ago.
It's a long story and nothing to do with football. But it has made me very cheerful indeed.

Congrats! Hope all goes well.

Same thing happened to me two years ago.  A half-sister I never knew I had, who turned out to be a blue-nose.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: ASHTONVILLA on September 02, 2011, 04:16:50 PM
According to the OS the club has taken to growing its own food now. I suppose this will cut the cost of Habib Beye a little, as we need not buy hay in for the winter.

Maybe they can install treadmills next so the fans can power the floodlights on matchdays.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: not3bad on September 02, 2011, 04:20:45 PM
Maybe they can install treadmills next so the fans can power the floodlights on matchdays.

Which will make us all fit and strong!  They only have our best interests at heart.
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: Neil Hawkes on September 02, 2011, 05:19:27 PM
If Jenas and Hutton were any good then why have spurs let them go?

Well, they let Bent go...

Applause
Title: Re: Reasons to be Cheerful?
Post by: luke25 on September 02, 2011, 05:26:41 PM
Four weeks ago I met my older sister for the first time. (Me 65, She 68). We didn't even know she existed six months ago.
It's a long story and nothing to do with football. But it has made me very cheerful indeed.

Congrats! Hope all goes well.

Same thing happened to me two years ago.  A half-sister I never knew I had, who turned out to be a blue-nose.
Oi! This is supposed to be a positive thread ;-)
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