Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: DeKuip on February 08, 2011, 12:27:03 PM

Title: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: DeKuip on February 08, 2011, 12:27:03 PM
We had the General to answer our queries about Wembley tickets this time last year, but over at Sty HQ they've posted FAQs on the website.....

CARLING CUP FINAL TICKET DETAILS

Blues vs Arsenal_2011 Carling Cup Final:_Wembley Stadium_Sunday 27 February 2011. Kick off 4pm
__Blues' Cup Final tickets have been allocated in the West Stand at Wembley.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS_Unsurprisingly the club has been asked many questions regarding the ticketing process. Here is the official response from the Blues ticket office to some of those asked..

1) How many tickets have we been allocated for the final? 31500, so a big welcome to all our new-found fans.
2) I notice that tickets go on general sale on Saturday 12th Feb, but Blues are at home against Stoke that day. Won’t that be a problem? No, if you get here early enough you should be back home before the game starts.
3) My wife and sister are really the same person, but can we still claim three tickets? We would have to see their stubs.
4)You’ve allowed a whole day for sales to fans who have attended all five Carling Cup games. Was that really necessary?  It is the Wednesday when we’re short-staffed in the ticket office – Ethel  is at college that day learning how to change the ribbon on a typewriter.
5) The fixture list on my wall says we are playing Chelsea the day before the final. When do the tickets for that go on sale, as I’d like to make a weekend of it in London? We don’t normally sell tickets for away league games.
6) I’d like to take my two young children to the final. Will they be okay wearing their Arsenal shirts in our end?  A normal 30 degree wash will get the spit off.
7) Is Wembley still in Wales? No, the FA have moved it back to London now.
8) Will I be able to take my knitting into the ground like I do at home games? Haven’t you finished that sweater for Barry Fry yet Doris?
9) On the website it says tickets are available in person from the ticket office at St Andrew’s. Can you tell me where that is please? St Andrew’s is just off the A45 in Small Heath.
10) Will I be able to run around the pitch for five minutes in just my thong, talk to the players, then run back to my seat and watch the rest of the game? Wembley stewards and the Metropolitan Police are a bit quicker off the mark than those we have at St Andrew’s. For the same reason we strongly advise you keep smoke bombs and flares INSIDE your Aldi carrier bag when entering the ground. One final word of warning – Alco pops are more expensive in London, so don’t throw away all that loose change in the ground.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: damon loves JT on February 08, 2011, 12:30:12 PM
That is brilliant. Tell me you wrote it yourself.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: glasses on February 08, 2011, 12:32:03 PM
Why spend that much time and effort bothering to take the piss out of them? I couldnt give a monkeys about them
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: Risso on February 08, 2011, 12:32:35 PM
Good effort.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: davevillan on February 08, 2011, 12:35:45 PM
Well done, that was quality  ;D
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: Dr Butler on February 08, 2011, 12:37:51 PM
is Wembley still in Wales ?

excellent !!
UTV
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: damon loves JT on February 08, 2011, 12:38:58 PM
Why spend that much time and effort bothering to take the piss out of them?

because it's funny? Bloody hell, lighten up.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: flybo on February 08, 2011, 12:39:26 PM
That’s very good
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: villajk on February 08, 2011, 12:49:19 PM
5) The fixture list on my wall says we are playing Chelsea the day before the final. When do the tickets for that go on sale, as I’d like to make a weekend of it in London? We don’t normally sell tickets for away league games.

That had me laughing out loud.

Very good.



edited for usav - and me.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: Legion on February 08, 2011, 12:51:14 PM
Impressive. I'll nick it this evening.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: UK Redsox on February 08, 2011, 01:26:07 PM
Just emailed that to a Blues fan at work.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: DeKuip on February 08, 2011, 01:29:54 PM
Why spend that much time and effort bothering to take the piss out of them? I couldnt give a monkeys about them
One of the joys of local rivalry is being able to have a laugh at their expense at every opportunity. It works both ways, and most of us can also see the funny side of it when it's coming in the other direction. Local rivalry is not all about standing either side of lines of police, shouting threats and pretending to be hard.

If you couldn't give a monkeys about them, why click on and read a topic that is clearly about them? Why waste your time?
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: villasjf on February 08, 2011, 02:37:49 PM
That was funny, have just sent it to the blue noses I know i just hope they have learnt to read by now.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: Holtenderinthesky on February 08, 2011, 02:43:06 PM
Oh will somebody PLEASE post this on a knuckledragger forum.  That'd be hilarious reading all their angry posts.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: darren woolley on February 08, 2011, 03:10:35 PM
Love it first class please do some more.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: VillaAlways on February 08, 2011, 03:21:06 PM
Oh will somebody PLEASE post this on a knuckledragger forum.

You'd need to make sure your tetanus was up to date first
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: pauliewalnuts on February 08, 2011, 03:56:03 PM
Why spend that much time and effort bothering to take the piss out of them? I couldnt give a monkeys about them

Because taking the piss out of them is very amusing, and they're such an easy, always obliging target.

I've already forwarded it on to half a dozen people. Very good.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: Rudy Can't Fail on February 08, 2011, 04:04:02 PM
Good work, fella.

May I humbly offer an alternative reply to Question 1 following last weekends game at Upton Park:

1) How many tickets have we been allocated for the final? Due to the demand of our away support, 343 tickets have been made available.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: Surrey Villain on February 08, 2011, 04:19:55 PM
Oh will somebody PLEASE post this on a knuckledragger forum.  That'd be hilarious reading all their angry posts.

I doubt it.  They'd probably think its official.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: usav on February 08, 2011, 04:19:56 PM
5) The fixture list on my wall says we are playing Chelsea the day before the final. When do the tickets for that go on sale, as I’d like to make a weekend of it in London? We don’t normally sell tickets for away league games.

That had me laughing out loud.

Very good.

Bloody hell Pauline, it had my eyes burning after reading your quote - what happened!?
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: villajk on February 08, 2011, 04:26:05 PM
sorry, I tried to change the print but it got too complicated - well, it didn't but I was in a hurry. 

I'll try now that I have lots of time.*



*Changed the font.  Much easier on the eye now.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: VillaAlways on February 08, 2011, 04:28:31 PM
Oh will somebody PLEASE post this on a knuckledragger forum.  That'd be hilarious reading all their angry posts.

I doubt it.  They'd probably think its official.

Genuine LOL
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: The Man With A Stick on February 08, 2011, 05:45:25 PM
Good work, I like it.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: mr woo on February 08, 2011, 05:48:06 PM
Very funny,  printed and left on a Nose colleagues desk to pick up in the morning.

Could I also offer an addition to number 8?

 Will I be able to take my knitting into the ground like I do at home games?

Haven’t you finished that sweater for Barry Fry yet Doris? Besides, best not to knit during the game as there's a possibility someone may be in the adjacent seat for a change and therefore elbow room will be more limited than at St Andrews.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: Pete3206 on February 08, 2011, 05:53:34 PM
Very good

Any nose with an intelligence level above an amoeba, would probably find that amusing and shrug it off. After all, they're in a cup final.

But you just know the knuckle dragging element will get upset about it. Good.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: TopDeck113 on February 08, 2011, 06:16:47 PM
Good effort. 
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: Phil from the upper holte on February 08, 2011, 06:39:48 PM
I've had a shit day that made me laugh

Especially the bit about Chelsea the day before
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: cheltenhamlion on February 08, 2011, 10:26:14 PM
Do you know, a nose asked me down. Club Wembley for the game and England rugby the day before. Now I fancy the rugby...

I would cross continets to watch us, I wouldn't cross the road to watch those ******!
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: Grande Pablo on February 08, 2011, 10:29:54 PM
Did I not also hear somewhere that 'Big Eck' has named the team he thinks are capable of lifting the League Cup?

Arsenal.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: Nev on February 08, 2011, 10:47:34 PM
Do you know, a nose asked me down. Club Wembley for the game and England rugby the day before. Now I fancy the rugby...

I would cross continets to watch us, I wouldn't cross the road to watch those c***s!


I find it painful to watch them on the telly, never mind live in the company of so many Villa haters. I never understood the stories of Villa fans going to Wembley for the Shard End Glass Shield, I can't imagine anything worse than spending a day with that lot on the piss. I'd rather talk football with Ronnie Irani.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: pauliewalnuts on February 08, 2011, 10:57:28 PM
Do you know, a nose asked me down. Club Wembley for the game and England rugby the day before. Now I fancy the rugby...

I would cross continets to watch us, I wouldn't cross the road to watch those c***s!


I find it painful to watch them on the telly, never mind live in the company of so many Villa haters. I never understood the stories of Villa fans going to Wembley for the Shard End Glass Shield, I can't imagine anything worse than spending a day with that lot on the piss. I'd rather talk football with Ronnie Irani.

I'd rather have root canal work performed than Ronnie Irani.

How any Villa fan could be amongst so many bitter, twisted Villa haters is beyond me. Although there will probably only be about 15,000 actual noses there, the rest will be a mixture of probation officers, carers and friends going along for the day out.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: damon loves JT on February 09, 2011, 02:29:32 PM
Carers. Made me laugh.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: arfanvilla on February 09, 2011, 03:19:17 PM
Just emailed that to a Blues fan at work.

Just emailed it to everyone. haha.
Title: Re: Wembley Ticket FAQs
Post by: lordmcgrath5 on February 09, 2011, 04:03:02 PM
Excellent stuff, DeKuip, every one a winner.

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