Heroes & Villains, the Aston Villa fanzine

Heroes & Villains => Heroes Discussion => Topic started by: Toronto Villa on August 20, 2010, 11:48:34 AM

Title: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Toronto Villa on August 20, 2010, 11:48:34 AM
Here's Lawro's usually useless prediction for this weekends game

Quote
Newcastle v Aston Villa (1330 BST)

 
For half an hour at Manchester United on Monday, Newcastle were competitive and looked difficult to break down. Once they conceded, though, they never looked like scoring themselves and ended up losing 3-0. With home advantage this weekend, I expect them to give Aston Villa a physical battering, especially with Andy Carroll leading the attack.

I know Kevin McDonald well from our days together at Liverpool and I wonder if his relative lack of managerial experience could harm his chances of getting the Villa job on a full-time basis. It is going to be an interesting season for Villa. They have just signed midfielder Stephen Ireland from Manchester City - a good buy, in my opinion - but have they finished selling players?

Prediction: 2-1

When was the last night any team gave us a physical battering? And when did Andy Carroll become John Carew?
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Brend'Watkins on August 20, 2010, 11:53:04 AM
Yeah, seen Richard Dunne earlier, absolutely bricking it at the thought of being up against Andy Carroll.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Concrete John on August 20, 2010, 11:54:50 AM
He wasn't too far wrong for West Ham (predicted 2-0 Villa win), but I think he will be this time.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Fingers on August 20, 2010, 12:02:13 PM
Of all the things you could say about Villa, we're no soft touch anymore.  Then again it is the Uber cock Lawro.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: German James on August 20, 2010, 12:10:01 PM
The man really is an arse! He has banged on about playing with MacDonald for a week now- he told that tedious "Albert" story TWICE. There must be some ex-players out there who fancy the job of pundit and aren't as unbareable as the present lot, surely?
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on August 20, 2010, 12:28:59 PM
He has a face with the expression of a bloodhound in need of anti depressants and a hairstyle that would provide him with total camouflage if you stood him next to a thatched roof country cottage. With his slow monotone dreay voice and accent he really must be the most boring football pundit out there, and my god we have had a few.

I assume that piece is taken from BBC teletext page 302 ? Whilst I disgree with the content, may i suggest that teletext is probably the one branch of the media he can be shuffled off to. Because he does not have the face for TV, neither does he have the voice for radio either.

Up yours Lawro !
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Richard E on August 20, 2010, 12:46:57 PM
What is the relevance to the Newcastle result of whether we will sell any more players?
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: darren woolley on August 20, 2010, 01:14:13 PM
He is a useless bag of air we will prove him wrong on sunday.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Rudy Can't Fail on August 20, 2010, 01:17:49 PM
Yeah, seen Richard Dunne earlier, absolutely bricking it at the thought of being up against Andy Carroll.
A laugh out loud moment. Thanks Bren.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: TimTheVillain on August 20, 2010, 01:21:01 PM
'Always look on the bright side of life' Lawro !

Does he get paid for this bollox ?
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Toronto Villa on August 20, 2010, 01:46:58 PM
'Always look on the bright side of life' Lawro !

Does he get paid for this bollox ?

Alas, yes he does. With your TV licence money (you do still have that don't you). Fortunately for me I've skipped the country.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Rip Van We Go Again on August 20, 2010, 01:49:15 PM
Lawro as useless as ever.

When we want some dismally unfunny puns or advice on the colour schemes of soft furnishings, we'll let you know.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: garyshawsknee on August 20, 2010, 01:55:54 PM
'Always look on the bright side of life' Lawro !

Does he get paid for this bollox ?

Alas, yes he does. With your TV licence money (you do still have that don't you). Fortunately for me I've skipped the country.
A T.V license might have different meaning for Lawro!
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: damon loves JT on August 20, 2010, 02:37:03 PM
I thought I saw him during the world cup narrating a history of the Boer War. Either that or I was having another Spion Kop flashback
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: BannedUserIAT on August 20, 2010, 02:48:03 PM
He has a face with the expression of a bloodhound in need of anti depressants and a hairstyle that would provide him with total camouflage if you stood him next to a thatched roof country cottage.

Haaaaaahaha! Gold.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: olaftab on August 20, 2010, 03:08:19 PM
Yeah, seen Richard Dunne earlier, absolutely bricking it at the thought of being up against Andy Carroll.

Let's hope it's not Curtis Davis looking after ...WHO?
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Mazrim on August 20, 2010, 03:10:42 PM
Last week Lawro got three correct results, one perfect score and shagged by a merchant seaman behind a biffa bin.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Smithy on August 20, 2010, 03:20:31 PM
Yeah, seen Richard Dunne earlier, absolutely bricking it at the thought of being up against Andy Carroll.

The only people who should be bricking it at the thought of facing Andy Carroll are those with tickets in rows R to Z.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: cdbearsfan on August 20, 2010, 05:44:24 PM
In fairness he usually predicts us to win. Newly-promoted side away is always lilely to be difficult. Unless it's West Brom.

Didn't like the comment about selling more players though. The whole media does seem to have bought into the lie that O'Nearly didn't have any money to spend, oh no.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: TimTheVillain on August 21, 2010, 09:35:12 AM
Never trust a man who's hair changes colour everytime you see it.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Chris Smith on August 21, 2010, 09:47:56 AM
He's right in that I think they will try to make it physical, with a midfield of Smith, Barton and Nolan it can't be anything else. He's wrong if he think that we can be intimidated though.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: rutski on August 21, 2010, 06:56:43 PM
Last week Lawro got three correct results, one perfect score and shagged by a merchant seaman behind a biffa bin.
actually did lol! Watch what you say though as I have had an official warning on our coiffured friend, by the mods on here not by the real police!!!
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: KevinGage on August 21, 2010, 07:27:17 PM
I can take it that he's dull, he's in good company there as far as pundits are concerned. I can take it that he is ignorant of anything outside of the world of Liverpool, Man U and co too. Again, not much of a contrast there between him and the other talking heads.

But he actually thinks he's witty.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Quiet Lion on August 21, 2010, 07:33:06 PM
Last year I ran a predictions league at work. There were 15 people involved, we decided to add in Lawro's predictions to our league table just to see how bad he would do. He came 3rd :(
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: BannedUserIAT on August 22, 2010, 02:04:27 AM
The conclusion I'll draw from that QL, is that you must have 12 rugby fans at your place.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: VillaZogmariner on August 22, 2010, 02:32:49 AM
Didn't someone last year do a "Lawro Table" and ran it alongside the actual table to see how bad his predictions were?
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: VillaZogmariner on August 22, 2010, 02:37:59 AM
Found it (http://www.myfootballfacts.com/ML_TABLE_09.05.htm)
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: BannedUserIAT on August 22, 2010, 05:26:16 AM
So, outside the top 4, he's a bit all over the shop.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on August 22, 2010, 07:09:28 AM
He relegated Fulham and had Liverpool qualifying for the Champions League ?? You stupid boy !
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: JJ-AV on August 22, 2010, 09:18:39 AM
TBF to him it works alot different when you're predicting week on week.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Somniloquism on August 22, 2010, 10:04:05 AM
He relegated Fulham and had Liverpool qualifying for the Champions League ?? You stupid boy !

Thats no surprise. he always has Liverpool to win unless they are playing one of the other "big boys" where he normally plumps for a draw.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Deano's Mullet on August 22, 2010, 10:29:20 AM
Lawro was also a coach at Newcastle so a bit of bias there too probably.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on August 22, 2010, 12:33:35 PM
(http://www.anorak.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/mark-lawrenson.jpg)
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Lee on August 22, 2010, 03:09:44 PM
Wasn't wrong was he.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Monty on August 22, 2010, 03:17:15 PM
The most depressing thing is that he was right about the way they'd beat us. "They'll give Villa a physical battering" - name one other country where this would be allowed.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Toronto Villa on August 22, 2010, 03:27:29 PM
Fuck me. I'll never start one of these again.
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Reuben on August 22, 2010, 03:44:09 PM
Yeah, seen Richard Dunne earlier, absolutely bricking it at the thought of being up against Andy Carroll.

Hmm
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: manic-road on August 22, 2010, 05:02:55 PM
Yeah, seen Richard Dunne earlier, absolutely bricking it at the thought of being up against Andy Carroll.

The only people who should be bricking it at the thought of facing Andy Carroll are those with tickets in rows R to Z.


Apart from today of course....
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Andy_Lochhead_in_the_air on August 22, 2010, 06:23:07 PM
Dear Mr Lawrenson.
I wish to apologise for my earlier rants and piss takes of you. Im just a pathetic scummy Villa fan loser of 44 years standing who should have known better and deserve to have been kicked in the teeth today along with thousands of others.
I could actually take the inept performances and embarrassing scoreline today, i realise now that we are actually a bag of shit and probabaly always will be. Whats really hurt was that we got our hopes up and started taking the piss out of anybody in football thats not with us. For this I blame people such as the individual who started this thread against you, in my defence they just dragged me along and I joined in. Rest assured i would never have started this, blame them. Probably due to my own social ineptitude and an unhappy childhood, I just ran with the pack instead of having a mind of my own. Make sure you go after the real ringleaders Mr Lawrenson, it really wasnt anything to do with me.
Lawro....i remain your loyal and obedient servant and will never doubt you again ever.   
Title: Re: Lawro's usless prediction
Post by: Toronto Villa on August 22, 2010, 06:28:55 PM
Dear Mr Lawrenson.
I wish to apologise for my earlier rants and piss takes of you. Im just a pathetic scummy Villa fan loser of 44 years standing who should have known better and deserve to have been kicked in the teeth today along with thousands of others.
I could actually take the inept performances and embarrassing scoreline today, i realise now that we are actually a bag of shit and probabaly always will be. Whats really hurt was that we got our hopes up and started taking the piss out of anybody in football thats not with us. For this I blame people such as the individual who started this thread against you, in my defence they just dragged me along and I joined in. Rest assured i would never have started this, blame them. Probably due to my own social ineptitude and an unhappy childhood, I just ran with the pack instead of having a mind of my own. Make sure you go after the real ringleaders Mr Lawrenson, it really wasnt anything to do with me.
Lawro....i remain your loyal and obedient servant and will never doubt you again ever.   

If somebody is in the next room, ask them to slap you until you come to your senses. What a load of complete nonsense.
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